Welcome to Spiritual Oasis

God and Faith

2012-02-10T17:41:00.000-06:00

“God is the One Presence and One Power active in my life and in the universe. The wind is invisible, but I can see evidence of its power as it blows a sailboat across the water or turns the blades of a giant wind turbine. As I observe the wind, I am reminded that the spirit of God is also moving in and through my life in seen and unseen ways. No matter what I am facing in the moment, peace fills my soul as I affirm my faith: God is the One Presence and One Power active in my life and in the universe. I not only proclaim my faith; I live my faith. By holding an expectation of good, I actively help shape my experiences. I recognize that even challenges offer good to be discovered. My faith in God inspires me to have courage and encourages me to live life fully. Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.--Hebrews 11:1” (Printed from The Daily Word, a Unity publication.)

God. Who or what is God? How did God become God? Is there even a God? People have been asking these questions since the beginning of time. And it’s okay to ask those questions. There is no definitive, 100% proof that there is a God, and yet most people will tell you that they believe without a doubt that there is a God.

So, who or what is God? Many believe that He is an old man sitting up in the sky, with long white hair and beard, long robe, sandals, sitting on a throne, passing out judgments and disciplining people based on whoever’s belief is talking about Him at the time. Some believe that God is a Spirit. Jesus said in John 4:24, “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” What is Spirit? Some believe that it is in everyone and everything, that Spirit is an energy. Think of this… If God is an energy of and in everything, then when you take a breath, you’re breathing in God! Some say that “God is love.” Some believe that God is “out there,” and others believe that God is “within.” Jesus said over and over that the Kingdom of Heaven is within you.

We human beings are limited in our terminology; therefore, we really can’t put into words as to whom or what God is. People have tried throughout history, and I still don’t think we’ve come up with the “perfect” term. We can only use what works for us as individuals, and none of them are right or wrong, though some people will try to defend the name they use as being the only name.

Is God’s name God? God is only the English interpretation given to this Supreme Deity. There are thousands of names used throughout history, depending on the religion and language spoken. The English language Christian Bible includes countless names. Elohim, Adonai, Jehovah, Yahweh, El-Shaddai, etc. Exodus tells the story of Moses talking to God, and Moses asks God what name He wants to be known as to the people. God replies, “I Am Who I Am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I Am has sent me to you.’” (Exodus 3:4). “This is my name forever, the name you shall call me from generation to generation.”(3:15) The creator says that His name is “I Am” and that’s the name He should go by throughout history, and yet we also have thousands of other names for Him.

We usually call God a “He,” but does Spirit have a gender? God is considered a “He” in our Bibles, but we have to remember that the Bibles were written during a patriarchal society. Women were considered property and almost non-human. Personally, I believe Spirit to be genderless; that’s why I’ll sometimes refer to God as S/he. Many are now calling God “Father/Mother God.” (Genesis 1:26 says, “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image…” Who is us, and who is our? I’ll let you sit with that one.)

So, does it matter what we call this “I Am?” I don’t think so. That’s where “faith” comes in. All religions have faith. And as it says above: “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” We can fight and argue over what name to use, but when we do, doesn’t it take away what believing in God is all about in the first place? Personally, I choose to follow what Jesus’ and all the other great spiritual teachers taught and that is to try to love people unconditionally regardless of their beliefs. Namaste’.

(Published in the Cookeville Herald-Citizen newspaper on February 10, 2012.)

All Is Well!

2012-01-11T18:40:00.001-06:00

There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. “Such bad luck,” they said sympathetically. “Maybe, maybe not,” the farmer replied. The next morning, the horse returned bringing with it three other wild horses. “How wonderful!” the neighbors exclaimed. “Maybe, maybe not,” replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. “Maybe, maybe not,” answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son’s leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. “Maybe, maybe not,” said the farmer.

I totally believe that everything happens for a reason and everything is as it should be. In other words, everything is in Divine Order. That’s a hard concept to understand…until you do. When I look back on everything that has happened to me in my life, I can say, “Oh, now I see why that happened!” Because of everything I’ve been through, even those things where I didn’t think it could get much worse, I now see that because I went through those experiences, it made me a stronger and better person. It sure didn’t feel like it at the time when I was going through the ‘heavy-duty-life-doo.’ But over the years, I’ve learned to hang in there because I knew that at some point, things would get better.

What’s great about the above story is that the farmer knew the great secret of the ages, and nothing that happened to him or his family, ever got him riled. He knew there was a bigger picture. He trusted that everything would be okay. And it was. How many of us can do that? I can most of the time, but I have my moments where I go into deep fear just like anyone else. When I can take a deep holy breath and go into that place of profound, spiritual trust, everything works out just fine even though it may not humanly seem like it at the time.

There are so many things we can go through in life that can either make us or break us. Why some people are able to overcome and others can’t is a mystery. There is no easy answer. Some may think there is. But there isn’t. There are too many other factors, some deep within someone’s subconscious. We never know why people are the way they are. Until we have “walked a mile in their shoes,” we don’t know. People grow up becoming products of their past experiences, their upbringing, environment, belief systems, and so on. What’s more, all this tends to become a person’s identity. We are a result of the choices we make, and if you think about it, most of those choices were our thoughts. There’s a saying that says, “It’s not what happens to you that matters, but how you handle what happens.” Another one I really like is, “Nothing has meaning except for the meaning that you give to it.”

Just like the farmer above, he attached his own meaning to what happened to him. When his horse ran away, he could have been upset. If it would have been me, I would have been devastated. The farmer could have been upset when his son broke his leg. Instead, he just sat back and waited, and everything worked itself out.

There are countless people across the world, who have gone through the most horrific experiences, but they persevered, overcame, and grew up to become happy, highly successful people. I would highly recommend reading autobiographies of some of these people. One that really made a huge difference in my life is “Left to Tell” by Immaculee Ilibagiza. She is a survivor of the Rwandan genocide, and when I read what she went through, I don’t know how she could have come through it sane. But she did. When I think that I’m having a rough day, I think of her and realize that I’m really okay.

As we go through life and when we’re going through our stuff, let’s challenge ourselves to try to sit back, take a deep holy breath, and trust that there is a bigger picture. I’d like to leave you with a few more of my favorite sayings: “You can either be a victim of your past, or a hero of your future.” “Are you a worrier, or a warrior?” And, “All is well with my soul.”

(Published in the Cookeville, TN Herald Citizen newspaper on January 6, 2012.)

Loving the Spirit Within

2011-12-23T16:15:00.001-06:00

I have been writing for the Herald Citizen’s Religion section for about a year now and have enjoyed sharing with everyone my thoughts, beliefs, and what I have learned on this great journey called life. As I read other writers’ articles, I embrace the diversity of our beliefs, and it’s great that we can share what we believe with grace and in peace. I honor whatever anyone believes because I know that we’re all on this journey together.

As an Ordained Interfaith Minister, I love the diversity and goodness that I see in all religions. When we can come together in Love, we find that we have so much more in common than not. I’ve written this numerous times, but my favorite verse in the Bible is John 13:34 where Jesus says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” That’s the one I try to live by. To me, that means that I should love everyone unconditionally regardless of who they are, what they are, what they believe, or what they’ve done in their lives. My purpose is to love that person, and the rest is between them and the God of their understanding. Loving one another in the way Jesus loved is the lesson that Jesus taught. Is it easy? Goodness, gracious no. Even with my best intentions, I still have troubles with that one. One of my biggest challenges is in not judging the judgers, hating the haters, or complaining about the complainers.

I’m learning more and more the importance of going to Spirit (which is the name I use for God) directly and listening to that still, small inner voice within. John 4:24 says, “God is Spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” Sometimes that voice is just a quiet, gentle nudge. Other times, it’s like having someone scream in my ear, especially when I’m not paying attention, and Spirit gives me what I call that “love smack on the back of my head.” But when I listen to Spirit’s voice, it never steers me wrong. I can always count on it to be just, loving, and nothing but the Truth so help me God.

It’s great that we have churches where we can learn from others what they learned on their journey. It’s also great to be able to fellowship with like-minded believers. Books and CD’s/tapes are another great way to grow spiritually. I’ve learned, though, that no matter what I learn from whom, that I always need to check it with Spirit directly to see if it is true and right for me. Spirit will always guide me and direct me as long as I listen.

There are many ways to connect directly with Spirit if we are not feeling connected all the time. I’ll be honest…there are times in my life when I feel lost and alone, and I don’t feel Spirit in my life, although I know it’s always there. I just lost my little boy (Toy Poodle) and it absolutely devastated me. I was feeling so much pain and grief that I felt like I was all alone. It’s okay to have those spiritual temper tantrums. We can scream, swear, cry, beat a pillow... whatever we need to do to get through it. Spirit is right there waiting saying, “It’s okay. You go right ahead and have your temper tantrum, and I’ll be right here waiting for you and loving you through it. Then we’ll continue right where we left off.” There are many ways to “feel” that relationship once again if we feel we’ve lost it. Prayer, meditation, fasting, and getting out in nature are great ways to again feel that all loving feeling of Spirit.

I also like to use affirmations to continuously repeat until I can clear all that negative clutter out of my brain. “Life loves me and supports me, and keeps me safe and well.” “In the sanctuary of my heart, I feel the peace and love of Spirit.” “I experience life with optimism and confidence.” “The wisdom of Spirit lies within me.” There are so many others you can use.

So, as we move into the year 2012, let us remember the most important commandment Jesus gave us: “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” When we do this, we all win. And so it is.

(Published in the Herald Citizen newspaper December 23, 2011.)

If We Didn’t Have Holidays

2011-12-05T17:31:00.000-06:00

If we didn’t have holidays…

Would there be all this arguing and fighting that occurs at this time of year?

Would families be fighting over whose house to go to for which holiday?

Would there be all the stress and anxiety over making preparations, meals, buying and wrapping gifts, traveling, having to spend time with in-laws and other not-so-liked relatives and friends, or even having to spend it alone?

Would we be eating too much food, much of it unhealthy, gaining weight, getting the flu, colds, or worse? Would there be as many deaths at this time of year? As many people in the hospitals?

Would we be spending too much money, sometimes money that we don’t have, putting us further in debt, or upset because we couldn’t spend what we wished we could have spent?

Would there be arguing over who should get what for Christmas, if anything? Would people, particularly children, be angry and upset if they didn’t get what they thought they should get? Or if they didn’t get anything at all for Christmas?

Would people be fighting and arguing over whether or not they think Christ is being taken out of Christmas?

Would there be fighting and arguing over whether or not we should be saying “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays?”

Would there be fighting and arguing over whose holiday should be celebrated, and whose decorations should be put up where?

Would there be much of a holiday if we took the commercialism out of the celebrations?

Would there be hate, bigotry, and intolerance over holiday issues just because someone celebrates in a different way or believes in something different?

I think not. We have gotten so far away from what Jesus and all the other great spiritual masters have taught, and the holidays have become something so far removed from what they were meant to be, if at all.

These are just my thoughts as I’m pondering the holidays when I remember that Jesus said, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Or when the Dalai Lama said, “My religion is kindness.” Or when Gandhi said, “Gentleness, self-sacrifice and generosity are the exclusive possession of no one race or religion.” Or when Muhammad said, “Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever has not kindness has not faith.” Or when Sri Sri Ravi Shankar said, “Spirituality is allowing compassion and love to flourish.” Or when Buddha said, “Have compassion for all beings.” I could go on.

Personally, it doesn’t matter to me at all what holiday people celebrate at this time of year, or any time. It doesn’t matter to me what decorations are put up or where. It doesn’t matter to me if someone says “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “Happy Hanukkah,” “Happy Kwanzaa,” or whatever greeting someone wishes to use. In today’s day and time’s, when people mostly ignore each other, I’m just happy that someone would even wish me anything, or to just acknowledge me at all! The rest doesn’t matter.

Therefore, at this time of year, I don’t so much want to celebrate a holiday as I do to celebrate the teachings of the great masters who taught us to love one another. I choose love, to celebrate love and kindness, and to celebrate this beautiful world we live in with everyone living together as one. That is the kind of world I choose to believe in. I choose to celebrate a holiday of love, which should be celebrated each and every day of the year.

I choose to go within to connect directly to the God of my understanding. I don’t need a holiday to do that. I don’t need a particular greeting to do that. I don’t need to see particular decorations to do that. And I certainly do not feel threatened when I see how others celebrate. Of course holidays can be a good thing, but we should really examine why we are celebrating them in the first place.

Again, these are just my thoughts and what I believe, and has nothing to do with anyone else. Nor am I trying to tell anyone what or how to believe, or that anyone is right or wrong. I am also not trying to start a debate or get anyone up in arms, especially if what I write threatens anyone’s personal belief systems. Because I choose love, that means that I also choose to love people enough to also be open-minded with what they believe even though it may differ from my own beliefs. I love and embrace our diversity. And I love that the God of our understanding made us in order that we can learn to love. Because, my friends, that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it?

Diamond in the Rough

2011-11-25T19:26:00.000-06:00

"I allow creativity to express through me. According to legend, Michelangelo insisted that his part in creating David – his masterpiece of sculpture – was only to carefully chip away at the marble, uncovering the David that lay within. Within me there is also a masterpiece awaiting expression. As I chip away at limiting thoughts that hinder my creativity, beauty and innovation flow froth. Something within me is waiting to emerge. During my prayer time, I listen for what is seeking expression; then I joyfully engage with whatever surfaces. Creativity takes many forms: writing, music, art, dance, business ventures and inventions. The possibilities are limitless. As I quiet my inner critic, I invite my creativity to come alive and I create my masterpiece. ‘Everything created by God is good.’ 1 Timothy 4:4.” (Daily Word, a Unity Publication)

You’ve probably heard the saying, “Don’t give up on me; God isn’t finished with me yet.” Or that you’re a diamond in the rough, which the Urban Dictionary defines as, “Someone (or something) that has hidden exceptional characteristics and/or future potential, but currently lacks the final touches that would make them (or it) truly stand out from the crowd. The phrase is metaphorical and relates to the fact that naturally occurring diamonds are quite ordinary at first glance, and that their true beauty as jewels is only realized through the cutting and polishing process.”

From the moment we are born, we are uncut diamonds who spend our whole lives being cut, sanded, and polished. The only problem is that most of us just aren’t even aware that we have that magnificence within each and every one of us just waiting to emerge. Perhaps, we’re told our whole lives that we’re ugly, have no talent, will never amount to much, and so on. We believe it and, therefore, that beauty remains hidden for most, if not all, of our lives. We develop a poor self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth, and then these become our identities and the way that we see ourselves.

But the Bible states that we are made in the image of God; not in physical form, but the essence of who and what God is. We were put on earth to learn to be the greatest expressions of who we were meant to be! For some, we learn this lesson early and our lives are filled with wonderful adventures, joy, satisfaction, and great accomplishments. We control life. For others, we seem to struggle our whole lives because we let life and others control us, and no matter what we try to do, we’re just always struggling.

Many lose hope and give up, because they believe they do not have a choice. Anthony Robbins, a well-known motivational speaker, once said “Never take away a person’s hope because that may be all they have left.” But as long as people do have hope, they’ll keep on trying.

Life is a process of ever unfolding lessons, surprises, and adventures. If every person could just know the magnificence that is within, because it is the magnificence of God who put it there, then think of what we could accomplish in our lives! No matter what we went through in the past, we know that it doesn’t have to dictate our future. I like to say that you can either be a victim of your past, or a hero of your future.

I love to read celebrity autobiographies and it’s amazing how so many of them had to go through such hardships in their lives before seeing their dreams come true. Some had the most horrendous childhoods. Many of them have grown to be the most gracious humanitarians who give of themselves and their money unselfishly. I think of Angelina Jolie (actress), who did not have an easy childhood at all, and how she’s grown into one of the most beautiful women in the world, as well as one of the most respected humanitarians. Ashley Judd (actress) also had a hard childhood, and today, she is involved with so many humanitarian organizations. Oprah Winfrey is another one. They don’t just pay lip service or only give their money. They go to the people and walk among them. They discovered their magnificence!

It is my wish that each and every one of you can go within and discover that inner brilliance, majesty, and grandeur, that is the truth of who you really are. You are a masterpiece waiting to become the greatest expression of who you were meant to be. A diamond in the rough! Believe it! Know it! See it! And let your splendor shine! As it says above, “Everything created by God is good.” And so it is!

(Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper.)

Everything is in Divine Order

2011-11-10T14:15:00.000-06:00

“My life is unfolding in perfect order. If I am feeling overwhelmed, I may have difficulty recognizing that divine order is at hand. I remind myself to release my need to know how things will work out and trust the Universe for right outcomes. I turn to nature for an example. A soft caterpillar plods through countless hazards to find food. Over time, he wraps himself in a cocoon, transforms his body, and pushes himself through a tiny opening to stretch and fill out his new butterfly wings. Observing the process, I see why each phase is necessary. I see order in his unfoldment. My evolution is even more complex and miraculous. With renewed calm and appreciation for the order present in all life, I continue on my path of transformation. ‘Put things in order…and the God of love and peace will be with you.’” (2 Corinthians 13:11) (Printed from The Daily Word, a Unity publication.)

Through my writing and speaking, I can only share what I believe. Everything I think and believe is based upon my own life experiences, the wisdom I’ve gained, and how I see things through my own perspective lenses. It’s that way for each of us. What we believe…is.

I believe that everything is in divine order. Everything happens for a reason and everything is as it should be. Or as some in Unity like to say, “We are in the right place, at the right time, right now.” Everything I experience in my life is for my own soul’s growth. I believe that God is in every one and every thing. That’s hard for some to comprehend, but once I got it, I understood. God doesn’t cause what we go through because we have free will, but S/he’s still in the midst of it all.

I also believe that there is always a bigger picture; things we can’t know or see. Since I believe that God is in all that is, I know I can look for the good that is in or may come out of every situation. We may not see it at the time, if at all, but it’s there. When we get to the ‘hindsight part,’ we can look back and say, “Oh, now I see why I went through that!” I know that it’s made me a stronger and better person because of it. I gained so much more wisdom and knowledge, and learned a little bit more about myself.

It’s not always easy. Sometimes, when I’m going through something, I feel like I’ve stepped into a spot of quicksand, and I’ve sunk so far in that I can’t see above the muck. I call it “being stuck in the muck.” But it’s my choice whether I want to stay in the muck, or reach in to that infinite wisdom and power that is within me, and pull myself out of it. Sometimes I have to ask for help, but I make the choice. Some people feel they don’t have a choice, but even that is a choice.

Our souls are here to learn, to remember, and to help each other on the path that we have chosen here on earth. People (and situations) come in and out of our lives doing what they came here to do. Not all of it feels good. In fact, at times, it can appear outright ugly.

One thing I learned that made a huge impact on me is that everything is one energy: good/bad, ugly/beautiful, right/wrong, and so on. It is only when we humans attach a label to it that makes it what it seems to be. Nothing has meaning except the meaning that we give to it. The thoughts we choose will make or break us, because it is those thoughts that assign those labels.

Not too long ago, I started to go into fear by what I’ve been seeing in our religion, politics, and other world situations. Then I heard the words from Spirit say, “It’s okay. I’ve got it all under control. Let me handle it.” I have to trust those words to be my truth. I have to trust that we, as a nation, a people, and a world, are in a birthing process, and like any birth, we have to go through the birthing pains. We can kick and scream as much as we want, but that will only give us more kicking and screaming. Or we can look for the good, know that we are in the cocoon stage of life, and that soon, that beautiful and miraculous butterfly will soon emerge. It is then that we can look back and say, “Oh! Now I see why I/we went through that!” It’s all in divine order, and all is well. God is in charge.

(Published in the Cookeville, TN Herald Citizen newspaper.)

Bless the Children

2011-11-10T14:10:00.001-06:00

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matt. 19:14)

I believe that Jesus is the epitome of pure, unconditional, perfect love. I also believe that when children are born, they are also born of that same love. They were born geniuses, and they came into this world knowing who they were.

Then as they began to get older, they began to learn something completely different. One of the first words they learned was ‘no’ and they began to learn what they couldn’t or shouldn’t do. They began to learn that their identity was something completely different than what they knew when they were born. They began to be “humanized” by the adults who raised them.

This “humanizing” is part of the process of life that we learned from our parents and others around us, who learned it from their parents, and on back through the beginning of time. Parents, and other caregivers, teach their children based upon what they know, what they were taught, and many of those lessons came from their own experiences and perceptions of what they believed life to be. Many had great upbringings. Many didn’t. Parents can only do the best they can with what they know at the time.

Jesus, as well as all the other great Spiritual teachers throughout time, knew the value of children and how precious they are. When Jesus’ disciples tried to keep the children away from Jesus because they didn’t think He could be bothered by them, Jesus rebuked them by telling them in a parable of the sheep, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” (Matt. 18:10).

So many of our children are suffering in ways we never could have imagined in our time. Child abuse is at an all-time high. Bullying is out of control and is causing some children to commit suicide. Many children do not feel safe at school, and in some areas, children have to go through metal detectors. Gang activity is high. Many children are not getting enough to eat. The number of children on antidepressants and other mood altering drugs is unbelievable. Depression is being diagnosed in children as young as three! And there are one to three million runaway and homeless kids living on the streets in the United States alone! Buddha said, "What's done to the children is done to society." It’s true. Our children become adults and the cycle starts all over again.

Some say that our children have it so much easier than previous generations. Maybe; in some ways. But children today have a lot more distractions than when we were in school. My generation only had three TV channels, kids played outside most of the time, we could walk to school and play in the neighborhood because parents didn’t have to worry about us, and most of our outside activities were school related. Today, kids are bombarded with countless high tech products, which include iPods, cell phones, computers (games, internet, etc.), they have easier access to drugs and alcohol, the divorce rates are high and many kids come from a one parent family, and when there are two parents, both of them work, and the list goes on. It comes at them from all directions and from many sources.

So, what’s the answer? It seems so overwhelming that it’s hard to come up with any one answer. But we can start small. How many times a day do you tell your child that you love them, that you’re proud of them, and that your life is blessed because they are in it? How often do you listen to them without judging, and really show an interest in their interests? Do you encourage them to be who they want to be or do you try to make them be who you want them to be? How much time do you spend with them? Even if you and your children aren’t getting along at the moment, you can still begin with just saying the words, “I love you.”

Just as Jesus saw all children as blessings, it is up to us to see all children as blessings, and not just our own children. You can say an encouraging word to any child of any age. Help other children who may need it. There are children all over the world making a difference because they had someone to believe in them. Sometimes, all it takes is one person to change a child’s life for the better. Could that person be you?

(Published in the Cookeville, TN Herald Citizen newspaper)

“Hollywood” Marriages

2011-10-01T13:51:00.000-05:00

One of my pet peeves is to hear people say that marriages don’t last, particularly in Hollywood, and I hear it said on entertainment shows quite often. I would think, “Come to small-town USA and see how long marriages last here. They don’t have a long track record there either.”

Then it seemed that whenever I heard someone from Hollywood on a talk show, they would tell how long they’ve been married, and they had been married for many years. That got me to thinking. So, I got on the internet and tried to look up as many marriages as I could and found the list below. I think this proves my point in that there are a lot of Hollywood people who do have long marriages; we just don’t hear about them. We only hear about those whose marriages don’t last.

The below list was accumulated from a quick search; therefore, they are as accurate as I could find in recent reporting’s. There may have been a few who have been divorced since the last posting; I just didn’t see it. Also, the years are calculated by year only (not taking the month into consideration, so some could be off a year).

I will continue to stand up for “Hollywood people” in that there are countless who have been married for many years. In the same vein, there are countless “Hollywood People” who are good, decent, loving, and caring people who just happen to have a job in the entertainment industry. Again, you just don’t hear about them.

If you know of any mistakes or corrections from my list, please feel free to let me know. Or if you can add any names, please let me know, too. I would love to continue adding them on.

Gene Hackman & Betsy Arakawa 1991 20 years

David Keith & Nancy Clark 2000 11 years

Julie Roberts & Danny Moder 2002 9 years

Richard Gere & Carey Lowell 2002 9 years

Brooke Shields & Chris Henchy 2001 10 years

Dolly Parton & Carl Dean 1966 45 years

Tommy Lee Jones & Dawn Laurel 2001 10 years

Adam Sandler & Jacqueline Titore 2003 8 years

Samuel Jackson & LaTanya Richardson 1980 31 years

Ed Harris & Amy Madigan 1983 28 years

Sigourney Weaver & Jim Simpson 1984 27 years

Simon Baker & Rebecca Rigg 1998 13 years

Marlee Matlin & Kevin Grandalski 1993 18 years

Renee Russo & Dan Gilroy 1992 19 years

Sylvester Stallone & Jennifer Flavin 1997 14 years

William H. Macy & Felicia Huffman 1997 14 years

Della Reese & Franklin Thomas Lett 1983 28 years

Denis Leary & Ann Lembeck 1989 22 years

James Earl Jones & Cecilia Hart 1982 29 years

Forest Whitaker & Keisha Nash 1996 15 years

Jeff Daniels & Kathleen Treado 1979 32 years

Sean Connery & Micheline Roquebrune 1975 36 years

Bob (deceased) & Dolores Hope 1934 77 years

Helen Mirren & Taylor Hackford 1997 14 years

Kate Blanchett & Andrew Upton 1997 14 years

Judy Dench & Michael Williams 1971 40 years

Hugh Jackman & Deborra Lee Furness 1996 15 years

Stephen Lang & Kristina Watson 1980 31 years

Tom & Lois Bergeron 1982 29 years

Susan Lucci & Helmut Huber 1969 42 years

Jaclyn Smith & Brad Allen 1997 14 years

Sidney Poitier & Joanna Shimkos 1976 35 years

Celine Dion & Rene Augelil 1994 17 years

Lisa Kudrow & Michael Stern 1995 16 years

Donny Osmond & Debra Glenn 1978 33 years

Paul Hogan & Linda Kozlowski 1990 21 years

Kelly Ripa & Mark Consuelos 1996 15 years

Regis Philburn & Joy Senese 1970 41 years

Benjamin Bratt & Taliso Soto 2002 9 years

Dan Akroyd & Donna Dixon 1983 28 years

Kevin Kline & Phoebe Cates 1989 22 years

Tom Selleck & Jillie Mack 1987 24 years

Ted Danson & Mary Steenburgen 1995 16 years

Henry Winkler & Stacy Weitzman 1978 33 years

Kyra Sedgwick & Kevin Bacon 1988 23 years

Alan and Arlene Alda 1957 54 years

Will Smith & Jada Pinkett 1997 14 years

Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones 2000 11 years

Larry and Maj Hagman 1954 57 years

John Travolta & Kelly Preston 1991 20 years

Suzanne Somers & Alan Hamel 1977 34 years

Matthew Broderick & Sara Jessica Parker 1997 14 years

Phil Donahue & Marlo Thomas 1980 31 years

Denzel & Paulette Washington 1983 28 years

Kirk & Ann Douglas 1954 57 years

Bill & Camille Cosby 1964 47 years

Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson 1988 23 years

Kurt Russell & Goldie Hawn (not married) 1983 28 years

David Kelly & Michelle Pfeiffer 1993 18 years

Michael J. Fox & Tracy Pollen 1988 23 years

Annette Bening & Warren Beatty 1992 19 years

Tim McGraw & Faith Hill 1996 15 years

Jay Leno & Mavis Nicholson 1980 31 years

Kate Capshaw & Steven Spielberg 1991 20 years

Ron & Cheryl Howard 1975 36 years

Martin Sheen & Janet Templeton 1961 50 years

Steve & Nancy Carrell 1995 16 years

Antonio Banderes & Melanie Griffith 1996 15 years

Sam Elliott & Katherine Ross 1984 27 years

Paul Newman (dcd) & Joanne Woodward 1958 53 years

Dustin Hoffman & Lisa Gottsegen 1980 31 years

Meryl Streep & Don Gummer 1978 33 years

Jeff Bridges & Susan Geston 1977 34 years

Sissy Spacek & Jack Fisk 1974 37 years

Christopher Plummer & Elaine Taylor 1970 41 years

Julie Andrews & Blake Edwards (dcd) 1969 42 years

Bruce & Kris Jenner 1991 20 years

Tina Fey & Jeff Richmond 2001 10 years

Ann-Margret & Roger Smith 1967 44 years

Clint Eastwood & Dina Ruiz 1996 45 years

Powerful Beyond Measure

2011-09-24T12:38:00.000-05:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” This is my favorite quote by author and speaker, Marianne Williamson.

For some reason, we think that in order to be loved by God, we have to keep ourselves small and insignificant; that we really don’t matter, and that God can’t be bothered by someone so unimportant. But is this true?

Genesis 1:26 states, “And God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness...” We were made not in the physical form, but in the essence of God. Jeremiah 1:5 states, “Before you were ever formed in your mother’s womb, I saw you and approved you.” You came to this earth pre-approved! By God!

God wants us to be happy, successful, healthy, prosperous, and whole! John 10:10, Jesus states, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. .” Jesus came to show us how to become the greatest expressions of who we were meant to be. In John 14:12, Jesus states, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these….” We can believe that Jesus did these miraculous things, and we can believe Him when he says that we can do them also. It doesn’t matter what faith you belong to, we can all become the best that we were meant to be.

It comes down to the thoughts we think. Our thoughts become us. Buddha said “With our thoughts, we create the world.” Your beliefs, thoughts, and the words you speak have power! Albert Einstein said, “The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” And Norman Vincent Peale stated, “The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results.”

The book “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen states: “‘As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” not only embraces the whole of a man’s being, but is so comprehensive as to reach out to every condition and circumstance of his life. A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.”

Beliefs can be changed. Mine have changed drastically over the years, and when I trust Spirit, they get better and even more loving. Not all beliefs are the Truth, but they are true for you in that moment. Remember, man used to believe that the earth was flat and that the sun revolved around the earth! People were imprisoned or put to death because they changed those beliefs to another truth. So, it’s okay if our beliefs change.

So, how do we change the negative and self-defeating thoughts we have towards ourselves and the world around us? Michael Jackson said it very well in a song he wrote: “I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we want to change our inner and outer world, it begins with us.

We begin by going within...trusting that inner voice of Spirit who loves us so much. Stop listening to your egoic thoughts, or those of others who are only trying to bring you down, including those who say they are speaking for God. How do you know the difference? God only knows pure, unconditional, perfect love, because that is who God is. You can tell the difference by asking yourself this: are you or the other person coming from a place of fear…or love? If it’s from fear (hate, bigotry, disgust, etc.) and doesn’t feel loving, then it is not from God. If it is from love (compassion, harmony, uplifting, peaceful) and feels loving, then it is from God.

I say, “You are the best there is and it has nothing to do with anyone else!” Believe it! Become it!

(Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper on September 23, 2011.)

Who is God?

2011-07-09T10:21:00.001-05:00

This question has been asked since the beginning of time. Who is God? What is God? Is there a God? What form does God take? Does God cause all the tragedies we experience on earth? How can God make children suffer? Is God a man who sits up in the clouds on a throne with long white hair, beard, long robe, and punishes us when we’re bad? Is He a man or woman? Genderless? Is He a God of love, or a vengeful God who is full of anger and judgment? Add your own question(s), and you have asked the greatest mystery questions of the ages.

What does God looks like? I don’t know. And neither does anyone else. In the thousands of books and magazines that I’ve ever read regarding religion and spirituality, I have never read where anyone has seen the actual face of God. There are verses in the Bible that say someone did see the face of God, but didn’t describe his actual features. Then again, Jesus says in John 5:37 states: “And the Father who sent Me, He was borne witness of Me. You have neither heard His voice at any time, nor seen His form.” Some people today say they have seen the face of Jesus, but they usually see the image of the man that was depicted in an artist’s vision of what he thought Jesus looked like.

If you look up all the different names for God, you will find thousands of variations depending upon the religion, culture, and belief system. Traditional Christianity has collectively called this Deity “God,” but even within the Christian faith, the names can vary. It also depends upon which nation and/or culture the Christian lives in as to what name is given. I could give a list of the thousands of names from all religions, but they could fill a whole magazine alone.

When the Bible was written, it was a patriarchal society. It is said that all but two chapters of the Bible were written by men. Women didn’t have a voice in Biblical times (with few exceptions). Therefore, God is depicted as male. In the New Testament, Jesus talks about God as being His Father. But did He only say “Father?” I don’t know; I wasn’t there. Genesis 1:26 states: “Let us make man in Our image…” Who is Us?

We can fight over who or what we believe God to be, and forget why there is a God in the first place. Many Holy wars have been fought over people trying to defend their beliefs as right and others wrong. We do this to this day, though in America the fighting is more in words. People have been killed in America over religious beliefs, and continue to be to this day, albeit not in a military war as in other countries.

So, does it matter who or what God is, or what name we call Him or Her? Does it matter what gender God is? I don’t think so, and I really believe it doesn’t even matter to God. (For those who don’t believe in God, just add an “o” and call it “Good.”)

Personally, here’s what I know about God. I don’t know. But here’s what I do believe. It doesn’t matter the name you give to God. It doesn’t matter the form or the gender that you give to God. I no longer believe that He is a man sitting up in the clouds pouncing on us every time we do something someone else here thinks we did wrong. God is Love. God is compassion. Good is all good. God is in everything. I call God a He, and other times I say She. Usually I say Spirit or Universe. I believe that God is an all embracing energy of pure, unconditional, perfect love. She is all inclusive and loves every single one of us regardless of color, race, religion, or walk of life. He doesn’t judge, nor punish us for our interpreted sins. Take the love you feel for your newborn baby, multiply it by billions, and you still only have a smidgeon of the magnificent love that God has for us.

You can disagree with me on this. That’s okay. I honor and respect whatever you believe. This is only what I believe, and I choose to believe God as a God of love and compassion.

(Published in "Our Journey," a Cookeville, TN magazine.)

To Live a Magnificent Life

2011-07-09T10:18:00.002-05:00

There was a woman who was extremely frustrated and feeling overwhelmed with her life. Not knowing what else to do, she went to her spiritual teacher for advice. After listening to her story, he replied, “The answer is obvious: get rid of everything that is bad and keep only what is good.”

So she went home and evaluated what was and wasn’t working in her life, and she released everything that wasn’t working or what wasn’t bringing her joy. Her life changed for the better and she found a little peace.

A year later, she again felt overwhelmed, so she went to her spiritual teacher for more advice. He replied, “My answer to you is to let go of the good and keep only what is great!”

She returned home and again re-evaluated her life, and she released what wasn’t good and only kept what was great. She made the decision to live simply from joy and participate only in those activities that she found empowering.

Approximately another year went by and she was feeling stuck in the muck, and since her spiritual teacher had given her such good counsel in the past, she again went to him for advice on how to make her life better. He replied, “From here on out, really practice what you have been learning, only now, let go of the great and keep only what is magnificent.”

When she began practicing looking for and keeping only what was magnificent in her life, she found her life improved beyond measure. She found she could live in joy, was happy, and she found peace of mind.

How many of us are struggling to find peace in our lives, to find a little joy and happiness, and to know that our lives have meaning? I think that covers most of us (including me at times). Life can sometimes get away from us and we find that life controls us instead of our controlling life. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can, with practice, control our thoughts about what happens to us. We really do have a choice about the thoughts we think. We can choose to be positive and optimistic, or we can choose to be negative and pessimistic. Some will say, “But Karen, if you think positive and optimistically all the time, you’re not living in reality!” I say, “I choose my reality by the thoughts I think.”

There’s another great story about a little girl who was constantly bugging her parents for a pony, but they couldn’t afford it. One day, the parents had a truckload of manure delivered to their house and it was dumped in one pile in the yard. Soon after, the father went out and found the little girl enthusiastically digging at the pile of manure. The father asked, “Honey! What on earth are you doing?!?” To which the little girl replied, “I KNOW there’s a pony in her somewhere!”

I say, “You don’t have to be happy with your circumstances, but you can be happy in your circumstances.” Wayne Dyer has a book called, “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” and I would highly recommend reading it. For one day, I would also recommend that you be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Are they positive or negative? What words come out of your mouth? Are you always complaining about what you think is wrong with your life, or are you counting your blessings and finding what’s good? Are you focusing on the problems, or are you focusing on the solutions?

Even in the worst of circumstances, we can find ways to think good thoughts. I am certainly not saying that it’s easy. It takes practice and constant focus. Our thoughts and the words we speak have a lot of power, and we will attract that which we are thinking. We also become that which we are speaking.

Philippians 4:8 states: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Buddha says, "The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings."

And Mahatma Gandhi stated, "Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well."

To be empowered, we need to think and speak empowering words. You can change your life. “Life is beautiful, life is good, life is what you believe it to be.” And so it is.

(Published in The Herald Citizen, a Cookeville, TN newspaper.)

It Pays to Be a Woman

2011-06-01T20:13:00.001-05:00

When it comes to our faces… First we need a toner to make sure that our face really is clean. Then we need a face lotion to smooth over our face and neck. But that won’t do for the eyes, so we need an eye cream. Of course, these lotions and creams must be anti-wrinkle, anti-aging, and have an SPF to keep us safe from the sun. To add color to our faces, we need a foundation to smooth out the blotches and uneven areas. Add to this, the cover-up make-up to cover up any blotches or scars.

We also need to be able to take off the make-up so we have eye make-up remover and regular make-up removers. And who can forget the night creams and eye creams to work on our faces while we are sleeping, again all to remove wrinkles and keep us from aging! (Ha! Like THAT’s going to happen!)

We move on to more color. A good blush can make our faces look slimmer and our cheekbones more pronounced. If we need it, we can use several colors to achieve the perfect cheeks. Then comes the eye color. There are hundreds of colors so that you can shape your eyes to almost any shape you desire. If we need to make our eyes stand out a little more, we can add eyeliner, or even fake eye lashes. We also brush on mascara, but it can’t be any ordinary mascara; it’s the ‘extend the lashes five to seven times the length’ mascara.

After we have all that applied, there is face powder to set everything else in place that we have already put on. We also have to have a compact that we carry with us so that we can keep the shine off our faces and do those little touch-ups.

This is just the face. Now on to the hair. If you go down the isles of any store, you will see rows and rows of shampoos, conditioners, gels, mousses, spritzes, sprays, volume lifters, and the list goes on. If our hair isn’t the color we want, there are hundreds of hair dye products to choose from. If we dye our hair, we have to have the special products to use on colored treated hair.

Then there are the body lotions with anti-aging, anti-wrinkling, and fragrances to keep the rest of our skin smooth and silky. Don’t forget just the right deodorant, too! And deodorant for places you never thought you would have deodorant for! Must smell good in ALL places!

What woman doesn’t shave her legs? (Okay, you can always tell the extent of my social life by how long the hair is on my legs, but we won’t go there. Grin.) There are all kinds of razors to choose from in a variety of colors. Add to that the shaving gels to keep us from nicking ourselves, as well as keeping our legs silky and smooth. And I'd like to know who on earth came up with waxing!!! That's like yanking every nose hair out of your nostrils!

Of course, we also need to keep our nails looking good. There are creams and lotions for the nails, the nail primer, nail color, topcoat, files, buffers, fake nails, and now little stickers to put on the nails. And then you need to be able to take all this off, so there are nail polish removers. Once that’s done, we need hand lotions to keep our hands looking young and smooth.

Who can leave out the perfumes? We love our perfumes. I have a dresser top full of perfumes of all shapes, sizes, and smells. We women MUST smell good!

Now we have our make-up, hair, and bodies done, and we’re smelling good, so now on to the underwear. We have push up bras, bras with padding, gel, bubbles of water to pump up our size, lace, and under wire. Our bras are just as pretty as our outer clothes with lace, patterns, and they come in all shapes and sizes. AND we must keep our fat in place, so we have girdles, Spanx, Dr. 90210, and other torture items that we squeeze and stuff ourselves into. Who cares that we can’t breathe! We look an eighth of an inch thinner! (I admit it. I wore one a few weeks ago. I literally had to squeeze my body into it, and now I can’t find my bellybutton. I think it’s now on my back hip.)

We then have the outer clothes that we wear, and what a variety we have to choose from! Of course, most of the sizes nowadays will only fit a Barbie doll, but how we try to squeeze into them! Or we buy the lesser sizes because we are determined that ONE DAY we WILL fit into them. (Goodness knows I have a half a closet of those types of clothes!)

And who can forget the shoes? The pointier the toes, and the taller the heals, the better we’re told our legs and feet look! Women are out there walking on stilts JUST to make our legs look a little slimmer!

Of course, we need to accessorize! Earrings, rings, watches, bracelets, necklaces, toe rings, ankle bracelets, hair ornaments, hair ties, hair bows…

Men! Do you not know what we go through to look good and how much money we spend?!?!

GOODness!

Now on to the men…. If you go down any isle of any department store, the sections for just men are few and far between. There’s a small selection of razors usually in just a couple of colors, as well as some electric shavers. A selection of shaving creams and aftershaves. Do you ever see the creams and lotions with the anti-aging, anti-wrinkling- and SPF in them for men? I think not! (At least I haven’t, or maybe I haven’t looked recently.)

Are shampoos and conditioners marketed towards men? Men will choose from a selection of shampoos, and possibly conditioners, but what man will walk out with a hot pink bottle with lovely fragrance?

There is a selection of deodorants with some manly fragrances, but not as many as there are for women. And again, you won’t see the flowery, brightly colored, perfumed deodorants. How many commercials do you see men wearing short sleeves dancing with their arms up in the air showing off their armpits? (Personally, I would like to just have armpits again. I know they’re in there somewhere!)

Men might use some body lotion if they have dry skin, but it’s not pushed on them like it is for women.

Ever see men wear girdles? Men have jockey shorts and boxer shorts. (I will wear an under wire bra when men start wearing under wire in their jockeys!) Do men’s underwear come with padding, gels, water balloons, or push-ups? I think not. (Okay, maybe they exist somewhere. It wouldn’t surprise me anyway. I’m still waiting for Hannah Montana men’s underwear. It’s in everything else!)

And clothes? Men just put something on to get out the door. For work, most wear suits and a tie. They may be able to play a little with colorful and cute (okay, manly) ties, but suits are usually dark. How many outfits do you think a man tries on before going out, wondering if what they are wearing makes them look fat?

Do they paint their toes? Wear toe rings? Yes, I realize that some men do now wear jewelry, but not like we women!

Men will wear cologne, and who doesn’t love a nice smelling man, but you don’t usually see the large selection as in women’s fragrances.

Other than that, men do not have nearly the upkeep we women have!

Women, and especially young women and young girls, feel the pressure to do all this to look good. How often can we women just walk out the door without our make-up or having our hair looking just right? It took me years before I could go anywhere without make-up. Okay, so just a few years ago, but I had to literally force myself to do so.

Personally, I’m tired of the hype. I’m tired of women having to look a certain way to feel loved and accepted. I’m tired of the moneymakers making us feel worthless if we don’t buy their products! I say let’s strike the beauty and fashion industries! Okay, okay, I know that’s not going to happen. But let’s start looking at this for what it really is. The industries are there to make money. They don’t really care about us. They know they have us from the word ‘anti-aging!’

What can we do? Let’s work at loving and accepting ourselves as we are, and not be brainwashed into thinking we’re anything less than magnificent if we don’t conform to those ideals that don’t serve our highest good. We are magnificent! We are fabulous! And we are awesome just the way we are! (Please tell that to me the next time I go out without make-up, no bra with my cupcakes down below my belly, and in rags. Grin.)

We go, women!

I Am Not a Label

2011-05-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

My name is Karen. Label. I am female. Label. I am blonde. Label. I am white. Label. Black. Label. Mexican. Label. Democrat, Republican, Christian, Muslim, good, bad, right, wrong, tree, sky, house, dog, desk, chair….. Label, label, label, label….well, you get my drift.

Just about everything in existence on the planet earth and beyond is given a label by humans. We’ve done so since the beginning of the human race. Call it a name, label, whatever. And for every label, we attach a meaning. The thing is, nothing has meaning except for the meaning that you give to it. Which means that in the realm of everything there is to know, nothing has meaning.

I can’t remember where I read it…it may have been in a Wayne Dyer book…but if you take the labels off of everything, you realize how connected everything and everyone really is. It’s all one energy. It’s all the same thing. It all blends into one another. After reading this, I tried it. I focused on everything around me, took the labels off, and it happened. Everything became a part of everything. Everything blended. It was kind of eerie, but at the same time quite amazing and awe inspiring. It only lasted for a minute or two, but it made a lasting impression. I had a quick glimpse into nothingness and everythingness at the same time. It’s true. We really are one with everything.

So, why do we humans have such a need to put labels on everything and make everything separate from everything? I know, if we didn’t put labels on everything, there would be complete chaos. Therefore, labels can be a good thing. So it must be the meaning that we put to these labels. The problem comes when the meanings separate us from the goodness of everything. The other problem is that everyone has a different meaning for the various labels.

We do this with politics, religion, race, color, and all walks of life. We use labels to separate people and we each decide who is good or bad, right or wrong. And everyone has their own opinions, beliefs, and perspectives that they apply to their labeling. Children in school particularly know what it’s like to be labeled. Nerd. Jock. Preppie. Bully. Outcast. And then these labels have a part in defining who we think we are and can stay with us the rest of our lives.

But if we look through God’s eyes, we see that there are no labels. God sees us all as one and loves each of us as His beloved children. The Bible said that we all were made in the likeness of God. It didn’t say there were exceptions. Like a parent who has children, part of them is in their children and part of their children is in their parents. We’re connected. Same with our creator.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that if people could really see, I mean really, really see how connected everything and everyone is, maybe there wouldn’t be so much hate in the world. Maybe we could focus on what we have in common, rather than our differences. Maybe we could actually find ways to get along and bring peace to the world.

If you take a sample from every single thing and person in the Universe and put it under the most powerful microscope, you would find that we’re all made of the exact same thing. Nothing. Yet everything. Energy. Magnificent, beautiful, glorious energy. Loving energy. All there is. I love the saying that the Universe is within each and every one of us. The Universe! It’s in everything and everyone! Some may use God’s name and say that God is within every one of us. The Christ. Divine Love. The Spirit within.

I wish everyone could come to realize their magnificence and how we are all connected. Once you come to that realization, unconditional love takes over. You treat people more kindly. You treat yourself more kindly. You want to be of service to your fellow beings (animal, human, nature). You want everyone in the world to get along. You want peace. Everything you want for others, you are giving to yourself. What affects one, affects all.

The next time you look at a label, consider the meaning that you are giving to it. And remember that in the grand scheme of things, it has no meaning except for the meaning that you give to it. Therefore, we can choose the meaning. Choose kindness. Choose unconditional love. Choose compassion. Choose peace. It’s all a choice. It’s our choice.

(Printed in the Cookeville Herald Citizen Newspaper May 6 under the title “Don’t Let Yourself Be Restricted by Labels.”)

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Only Love Can

2011-04-13T20:23:00.002-05:00

For those who have followed my writings, you know that I speak a lot about the importance of having pure, unconditional, perfect love for all beings; the kind of love that Jesus and all the great spiritual teachers of the past and present have spoke about. It’s not easy, not even for me, but it gives us something to strive for. Love can be taught and expressed through countless venues: people, songs, poems, writings, quotes, and so much more.

A dear friend of mine, Richard Mekdeci, an artist, musician, and speaker, wrote a song based on the text of Martin Luther King, Jr. called, “Only Love Can Do That.” Excerpts of the lyrics are: “Darkness cannot drive away darkness, only light can do that. Hatred cannot drive away hatred, only love can do that. All you soldiers of peace, hatred has an enemy. If you want the fighting to cease, remember these words from the fallen King. We all must try to be an instrument of peace. Remember an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind and our children never see. Only love can heal, only love can take the fear away. Only love is real, only love will come to save the day.” It’s a beautiful song based upon the words of a beautiful man.

I found many quotes on love and many were from Martin Luther King, Jr. Some are: "People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don't know each other; they don't know each other because they have not communicated with each other." "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." "Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true." "If we are to have peace on earth, our loyalties... must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop world perspective."

All religions and spiritual teachers have taught the importance of our loving each other as ourselves. Maybe that’s part of the problem. Too many of us don’t love ourselves. I learned several years ago that we tend to attract that which we feel about ourselves.

There is a lot of hate, fear, and violence in our world right now and much of it comes from ignorance. How can we love as Jesus, one of our many great Spiritual Leaders in our history taught us, if we do not even attempt to have compassion and understanding for our fellow man? Why are we so quick to jump on the bandwagon of hate and ignorance without looking within our own hearts to find the Truth of which Jesus taught?

Another wonderful song is the Judd’s “Love Can Build A Bridge” and the lyrics go like this: “I'd gladly walk across the desert, With no shoes upon my feet, To share with you the last bite, Of bread I had to eat, I would swim out to save you, In your sea of broken dreams, When all your hopes are sinkin', Let me show you what love means. Love can build a bridge, Between your heart and mine, Love can build a bridge, Don't you think it's time? I would whisper love so loudly, Every heart could understand, That love and only love, Can join the tribes of man, I would give my heart's desire, So that you might see, The first step is to realize, That it all begins with you and me. When we stand together, It's our finest hour, We can do anything, anything, Keep believin' in the power.”

Isn’t it time we stopped looking at our differences and find out what we have in common? My friends, this is the only way we are ever going to find peace in our nation and our world. As long as we keep ourselves separated by hate, fear, and ignorance, we will never walk the walk. We will never walk in the shoes of Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, or Martin Luther King, Jr., and others until we do.

We can no longer tolerate hate and ignorance, both of which come from fear. When we hate others, it reflects more on us than the people we are hating. How can we complain about others and their behaviors when we are doing the same thing? In other words, we’re hating the haters.

As you pray and/or meditate, let’s look deeply within our hearts and find the great Spiritual love that is within us. God’s love.

...

Finding the Messiah

2011-03-10T17:55:00.003-06:00

There is a story about a run-down monastery that was run by a group of Monks. One day, a mysterious stranger showed up at the door. The Monks noticed something different about him, but they kept silent and showed the stranger his room. The next morning during breakfast, the stranger told the Monks that he had a dream, and in that dream, it was revealed that one of the Monks was the Messiah. The Monks were astonished and couldn’t believe it! They excitedly asked the stranger who it might be. The stranger told them that he could not reveal who it was and that they would have to discover who it was themselves. After giving them this information, he went on his way.

For the following weeks and months, the Monks were cautious with each other and looked deeper into each other’s eyes. They treated each other as if the other just might be the Messiah. Over time, something miraculous began to occur. For the first time in many years, the monastery began to be filled with joy and appreciation. Their prayers, meals, and conversations became more lively and delightful. Whenever people visited the monastery, they felt uplifted and the number of visitors increased. Soon, the monastery came back to life and the many visitors found refreshment for their souls. As time went on, they never did find out who was the Messiah the stranger spoke of. But it didn’t matter as they had all become the Messiah.

I fell in love with this story the moment I read it. If we would treat each other as if each of us were the Messiah, we would literally change the world. We would treat each other more kindly and with respect. We would know that we are not only our brother’s keepers; we are our brother. Jesus said it so eloquently when he said, “For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me. …Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to Me.” (Matthew 35-40)

Jesus loved all people unconditionally. He didn’t pick and choose who He would love based on appearances. He saw “the Christ” in everyone. “Christ” was not Jesus’ last name. The word Christ comes from the Greek word Christos, which means, “the anointed” (or Messiah in Hebrew). Some faiths talk about seeing “the Christ” within each other. “Christ” is an aspect of God and is the real you, your Christ self, the Spirit within. 1 Cor 3:16 says, “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?”

There have been many great spiritual teachers throughout history, but probably none has had the impact than has Jesus. Some believe He is the Son of God; some believe He was just a very wise teacher. We can argue with each other on whose beliefs are right and wrong, but doing so takes away from the very Truth that Jesus taught.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the details of the past that we ignore the very reason Jesus came to earth. He was the supreme example of pure unconditional perfect love, compassion, joy, happiness, and forgiveness, and He knew who He was. These are the lessons He taught and these are the lessons He wanted us to live by. To know our magnificence, that we are all connected, and that what He could do and be, we could also do and be. John 14:12 states, “He who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and the greater works than these will he do.”

We are currently experiencing very challenging times in the world. Rather than focusing on our differences and the negative rhetoric we’re hearing, let’s focus on obeying one of the most, if not the most, important commandments Jesus gave us: “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:34-35)

Can you see “The Christ” in others? More importantly, can you see “The Christ” in you?

Published in the “Our Journey” Spring 2011 Magazine, Cookeville, TN

(Please note: When I write, I usually include teachings of others such as Buddha, etc., but this was for a Christian magazine in the Bible Belt, so I had to adapt my teaching to my audience. Therefore, please do not take offense if your religion or belief system is not addressed here.. You can change the word Jesus to Buddha, or for whatever you believe. "Messiah" means "Anointed," so it does not necessarily mean it is for Jesus exclusively.)

Blessed by the Imam

2011-03-02T22:27:00.008-06:00

On Monday, March 1, I attended a class at TN Tech University in Cookeville, TN. It was more of a seminar for students, but they had also invited the public to attend. The speaker for the class was the Imam from the Islamic Center in Murfreesboro, TN, Sheik Ossama Mohamed Bhloul. He was dressed in traditional Muslim clothing and was going to talk about the various cultures; though as the Imam stated, it's hard to talk about cultures without talking about religion.

Before the session was to begin, an older blonde woman passed out some papers to everyone in the room. Thinking it was for the class, I gladly accepted it. While waiting for the Imam to speak, I scanned over the information, and it was full of hateful information towards the Muslims and their religion. Surely this can't be what the Imam is going to talk about. It can't be true. If it were, I was going to walk out. Fortunately, I waited to see what he was going to say first and saved my judgment for later.

He spoke for maybe a half-hour and then the Professor opened the floor to questions; he did request that his students be allowed the first opportunity to ask because asking a question was part of their assignment. A few students asked considerate and thoughtful questions inquiring about the religion and cultures. After those students asked their questions, the blonde woman who passed out the information stood up. It turned out she was not from Tech, but was from outside the college. She quoted a verse in the Koran about the infidels, and cutting people's heads off (wish I could remember exactly what she had said). Let's just say all respect went right out the window and I knew we were in for a wild ride.

The Imam gently tried to answer her question explaining the verse. He mentioned that as in all Bibles, you have got to take the culture, the time it was written, and why it was being written into account, and not all verses apply to current times. He explained that this was written about an event in the Muslim history when they were at war with another group. That particular group was called infidels because they were not Muslim and they were on the opposing side of the war. It had nothing to do with today. She would not accept his answer. (Again, I wish I could remember the complete details of his answer.)

It was at this point that I started to get very upset and almost in tears. It was one thing to come in and ask questions that you wanted to clarify in the Muslim religious beliefs, but it was another to come in and ask accusatory questions and not consider the answers whether they were the truth or not (I believed he was speaking the truth). I wanted to stand up and defend the Imam, to do SOMETHING to bring peace to the situation, but I wasn't sure if I could. I turned to the Professor and mouthed, “Can I ask a question?” I think he was just as surprised at their outbursts and was trying to think quickly how to handle the situation without making it worse.

Next, another adult woman from outside the school asked another angry, hateful question. The Imam tried to politely answer, but she argued with him and refused to accept his answer, let alone let him finish what he was saying.

I kept raising my hand slightly in the air so that I could be given the floor, and finally, the Imam was able to call on me (I was sitting in front). I began, “First of all, thank you for being here. It's an honor and a privilege.” That's when I started to cry. “I'm sorry. It just really bothers me what these people are saying and the disrespect that they are showing to you.” The audience applauded and it took a moment for it to die down for me to continue.

I wish I could remember everything I said so that I can repeat here word-for-word, but I can only write what I remember saying and what I think I said. It all became a blur after my first couple of statements. I do remember saying that I was a motivational speaker, Ordained Interfaith Minister, and a writer, and I write and speak about finding the good in people and in all faiths. We are all one people and a part of each other.

I also remember saying something along the lines of, “The same things that people are accusing the Muslims of doing, Christians are also doing. Some Christians are trying to force their beliefs on others and believe that everyone in the world should be Christian, and some are using violence to do so; also that if people don’t believe the way they do, they’re going to hell.” (I want to make it clear that I am talking about the extremists on both sides and not the religions in general.)

“I hear all this hate talk…hate talk TV, hate talk radio, and hate talk religion, and people using selected Bible verses (mostly taken out of context) from various Bibles to back up their beliefs. I also said that we need to practice the practical teachings of Jesus when he said that we should love one another…that pure, unconditional, perfect love that Jesus and all the great spiritual teachers taught.”

Again, I really don't remember what all I said, but I remember the audience applauding several times. I say this not to give the impression of “look how great I was and what I said,” but to show how most everyone in that room felt the same way. I had so much respect for those students. Whether they agreed or not with what the Imam said, they were respectful.

Several other students had an opportunity to ask questions after we were able to get off the rants of the adults from outside the school, and one young woman mentioned the admiration she had for the all the young, upcoming Imams, and stated that they showed more respect than some of the other adults in this room. (She got a round of applause.)

One young man said that he had lived in Iraq all his life and just recently moved here. While there, he stated that all religions got along together and honored each other’s beliefs. Muslims were not trying to convert all the non-Muslims, and they were definitely NOT killing them. (Again, not talking about the extremists. Also, how can we accuse Muslims of trying to convert everyone to Islam, when most Christians are trying to convert everyone to Christianity?)

Another young woman (white) said that she lived in Europe for a time and her family lived in a Muslim community. She said that she has never felt so welcomed and at home than she did when she lived in that community. Everywhere else (including America), she has felt judged. The Muslim community welcomed her with open arms, treated her family with respect, and they all got along very well.

The information that the Imam gave to us was very insightful. He mentioned that before 9/11, Muslims in other countries (as well as here) loved America. They thought it a great nation. After 9/11 happened, they started hearing about the hate that Americans were showing against them and they got confused. They weren't the ones who caused 9/11. There were many Muslims who were also killed in the Twin Towers. There was a Muslim Center/Temple in one of the buildings. Muslims came to the aid and helped right along with everyone else in trying to help those who were involved in this tragedy. They couldn't understand where all this hate was coming from. We all had a chuckle when the Imam stated “Even Muslims have crazy people (talking about those who caused the tragedy).”

The Imam mentioned that we all came from the same Mother and Father speaking of Adam and Eve (for those who take the Adam and Eve story literally). Muslims believe that Jesus was a Prophet and have great respect for him. They are a peaceful and loving people regardless of what people think. He also mentioned that Muslims and Christians have the same Ten Commandments. (I looked this up and they are basically the same with a few very minor differences.)

There is one God for all religions, and the Imam made this statement. An adult male in the audience yelled out something about not believing in the same God and that Jews and Christians believe in different Gods. (Not sure how Jews got into the conversation.) The Imam denounced this and again reiterated that we all have the same God. We just call Him by different names.

Before he ended the session, the Imam gave a “prayer” to God (and He called Him God, though he may have also called Him Allah). I wish I could remember the exact words he used, but it was a beautiful prayer/statement, and not once, did I hear anything said against anyone or anything in his prayer. It was for the greater good of all.

Afterward, the Professor came up to me, shook my hand, and sincerely thanked me for what I said. I was standing not far from the Imam, so I went to him and thanked him again for being here and apologized for the behavior of the outside adults. I also asked if it would be okay if I had my picture taken with him. (As a speaker, I try to get my picture taken with other speakers for my promotional materials). The students had gotten in a line and were shaking the Imam's hand and thanking him for being here. Several students also came up to me and thanked me for what I said. I could only say thank you and give them a hug.

One young woman was in tears, almost to the sobbing point. I went over to her and asked her if she was okay. She said it just really bothered her by what the adults said. I gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, “Just bless them. They're speaking out of ignorance.” Later, she told the Imam that she and her boyfriend were Atheists and they always try to learn about other religions, etc., and what happened with the outside adults really upset her.

I give the Imam a lot of credit. In spite of the contempt and hateful attitudes of the adults who were verbally combative with him, he kept his composure through the whole thing. He tried to respectfully answer their questions, even when they came back at him with anger and kept interrupting him so he couldn't complete what he was trying to say.

After the seminar was over, the Imam went to the back of the room where a few of the adults were lingering, and he spoke with them. Tempers were a cooler so they were able to have a little calmer conversation. I also give the Imam credit for making the choice to go back and talk with them further in a calm discussion. How many of us could have done that?

Before he left, I had my picture taken with him and thanked him again. On the way home, I was trying to process my feelings from the whole event. I was still upset by what happened with the outside adults, but at the same time, it felt good knowing that I stood up for him, as well as did the students.

I also discovered that I was really passionate about doing something to help end the ignorance, the misinformation, and the hate towards the Muslims (and any other person and/or group) who are being persecuted in any way shape or form. I’m not sure how I’m going to do this. I do know that I will not fall prey to ignorance. I am going to do my research and find the Truth; an objective Truth looking through the eyes of God and of love. I am going to continue to work on having love, compassion, and understanding for all people regardless of their color, race, religion, or walk of life.

As I investigate the Truth of Islam and the Muslim faith, I will continue to write articles sharing what I have learned. I invite all those who hold any fear towards this religion or the Muslim people to do your own research and don’t just believe the hate, ignorance, and misinformation that is being perpetuated by the media and other religious leaders.

Keep an open mind. It is only in opening your mind to wisdom and knowledge about all things that you will open yourself up to the Truth. Try to see through God’s eyes, the eyes of love, compassion, and oneness. (If you don’t believe in God, just add an “o” and call it “Good.”)

In no way am I trying to force my own personal beliefs and feelings on anyone. I honor your right to your own beliefs. My purpose is to live in love, and I choose to do so in whatever way I feel I am capable. I invite you to choose to do the same.

Please stay tuned for more articles about what I learn, not only about Islam and Muslims, but about my spiritual journey in general.

The Legacy We Leave Behind

2011-02-14T13:39:00.000-06:00

Many of us have been asked at some point in our lives, “If you could go back and do it over, would you?” My answer was usually, “If I could go back and take the wisdom that I have now, yes, I would.” On one hand, if I did go back and change things, would I be the person I am today? On the other hand, if I could go back with what I know today, I think of how I could have done things so much better.

I would have taken more chances. I would have pursued my own dreams without letting others try to live their dreams through me, or not letting me live my dreams at all because if theirs didn’t come true, why should mine? My self-esteem would have been higher and I would have believed in myself more. Instead of trying to please everyone around me, I would have been more my own person. I would have loved more, been kinder, helped people more. When I think of it, I could have taken on the world and become the greatest expression of who I was meant to be a whole lot earlier.

Why it sometimes takes decades to become those “wise old souls,” I will never know. Maybe it takes all those years for us to go through those life lessons before we can graduate with a “Wisdom Degree.” I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through everything I went through, and today, I can actually say that I like the person I’ve become! It took years of learning to love and accept myself as I am before I could come to that point where I see that I really am all that I need to be at this time in my life. Yet, I’m still learning so that I can be even more as life goes on.

As the older generations look at the younger generations today, we see the great divide between what it was like when we were young, and what it is like today. Some people say that kids today have it so much easier. But do they? When I was young, we had three channels on the TV. We didn’t have cell phones, iPods, computers, VCR’s, CD’s, and all these other modern technologies. Young people today wouldn’t know an 8-track if it hit them in the head. Tape recorders, records, and typewriters are almost things of the past.

Today, even though our modern technology is advancing faster than we can keep up with it, I really think that young people have way too many distractions. They are constantly on their cell phones talking or texting, even while in the classrooms or while driving. Movies are more violent; drugs and alcohol are more accessible. Most young people have vehicles to take them anywhere, any time. Jobs are harder to find. Colleges more expensive. So, do they really have it easier? Have they learned to appreciate what they have?

When I was young, I could see back even farther and see what I had that the generation before me didn’t have. For instance, when I was a young child, every summer, my parents would bring my brother and me down to Livingston, TN to see my great-grandparents. Grandpa built his little four room house and the only modern convenience was electricity. They drew their water from the well, used a wood burning stove, and the outhouse was down a path behind the house. Having that experience made me appreciate what I had; especially a modern commode!

We may not be able to go back and change anything, but we can choose from this point forward. Take the wisdom we’ve gained and pass it on to the younger generation. There are many things they can learn from us.

Looking back, ask ourselves… Did we love enough? Were we kind enough? Did we forgive enough? Did we take chances so that we wouldn’t have any regrets? Is there someone we need to re-connect with? Do we appreciate what we do have? It’s not too late. If we could write our legacy, what would we say? We still have the opportunity to be the greatest expression of who we were meant to be. We can still put the finishing touches on our legacy. When it comes time to make our transition, what will be the legacy you leave behind?

This article appeared in "Our Senior Times," a Cookeville magazine.

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What If?

2010-12-30T13:18:00.002-06:00

What if when we are born, we are born as pure, unconditional, perfect love, and we are born knowing all the answers to the Universe? What if when we are born, we are born with the potential to become the greatest expression of who God wants us to be? What if this was true, but we’ve somehow forgotten?

You see, I believe that all the above is true, right here, right now. When a parent looks at their newborn child, they feel that pure unconditional, perfect love for that child. It’s a feeling like no other. Some say they never truly knew what real love was until they had a child. It’s the love that we should be feeling all the time, throughout our lives, for ourselves and for everyone around us. If you could take that love and multiply it a thousand fold, a million fold, it would still be just a smidgeon of the love that God has for us regardless of who we are or our situation in life. This is the love that Jesus and all the great Spiritual teachers taught.

As infants, we have yet to learn labels. We have yet to learn the word ‘no.’ We have yet to be taught that we are less than, that we aren’t worthy, that we can’t accomplish what we want in life, or that our dreams can’t come true. We haven’t yet caught what I call the ‘can’tz disease.’ (Can’t do this; can’t do that.)

We haven’t yet been taught to hate, that people are different, that some people are bad or good, right or wrong, or that we’re less than because we don’t measure up to other people’s expectations of us. Hate, bigotry, prejudice, intolerance are all learned behaviors either by those around us, or by our experiences.

It is said that God is love and that “God created man in his own image and likeness” (Gen. 1:27) What if that image is not in the physical sense, but in the “Spiritual sense?” The essence of who we are. I know that many people believe that God has a human form, living in the clouds, sitting on a throne, in a long white robe, and long white hair. And if that’s what you believe, that’s okay. But what if He were more than that? If God is love, and we are in the image of God, then that makes us love, too. If that makes us love, that makes everyone around us love. If we could only see ourselves as God truly sees us, it could change our whole perception on who we are meant to be and that we really can be the greatest expression of God in our everyday lives. 1 John 4:8 says, "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Can we really see God’s love in our fellow man? Can we love them as God loves them? 1 John 4:20-21 says, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."

It’s so easy to judge others because it’s easier than loving them. We have certain belief systems that actually teach hate and intolerance. We can pick out Bible verses and interpret them to back up our personal beliefs, but I think Jesus said it best in John 13:34-35: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

As for judging, James 4:11-12 states: “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge; he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?”

What if we live the example of Jesus and all the other great Spiritual leaders? What if we come into the New Year and change the world with our love? Is it easy? Hardly. But the great Master, Jesus, commanded us to love one another as we love ourselves. The more loving we are towards others, the more loving will be our experience of God. It begins with us.

Humanity's Hope

2010-12-22T19:19:00.000-06:00

In this new year, we have the most glorious opportunity to make the choices to be the grandest vision of who we can be…as a nation, as a world, and as a people.

We are in a state of miraculous transition, and it is our choice as to how we want to see our future unfold. We can no longer continue to hate others and be intolerant just because someone is different than we are, whether it’s a different belief/religion, skin color, nationality, race, or walk of life. We’re all in this world together.

The greatest spiritual leaders and teachers throughout history have taught unconditional love: Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mohammed, the Dalai Lama, and many others have all taught unconditional love as the Golden Rule. But from the beginning of time and throughout the ages, people began to argue, fight, and go to war over who had the only true religion, whose God was better, and who was right and wrong.

So what is unconditional love? I looked to Wikipedia on the Internet to see what it had to say and I found the following: “Unconditional love is a term that means to love someone regardless of his actions or beliefs. Unconditional love separates the individual from his behaviors. The individual is loved unconditionally as a "perfect" child of the Higher Power.” (I do want to add that this does not excuse someone’s harmful behavior, as people always need to take the consequences for their actions.)

All religions and Bibles teach some form of the Golden Rule. A few are:

Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”

Christianity: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.”

Confucianism: “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.”

Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.”

Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”

Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.”

Taoism: “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”

If we could all live by the Golden Rule and practice it in our daily lives, think how we could change the world! Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I say, “Be the love you wish to see.”

There are times when I feel such an overwhelming sense of love for my fellow beings that I feel like I’m just going to burst into a ball of love energy. We really are all made of the exact same stuff, but we just appear in different forms. That doesn’t mean that I’m feeling this way all time. I still have to constantly work on myself.

I know that the world can sometimes look like a very scary place. There is a lot going on that can cause fear in the best of optimistic thinkers. I cannot worry about what I have no control over. I can only work on myself, my own attitude, and the way I wish to see the world. I choose to look for the good in humanity. We human beings are so much more than we give ourselves credit. We’ve overcome the worst adversities throughout history, and we will continue to prevail. But we can only do so if keep hope alive and work towards the greater good of all.

So, who or what is humanity’s hope? WE ARE! Each and every one of us. Don’t worry about what the next person is or isn’t doing. Be the change. Be the example. Be the miracle. We may not always get it right, and we’ll still have our moments of negative feelings toward someone or some thing. Imagine if we could get enough people to work on adding to the collective consciousness of unconditional love and to live the Golden Rule….we could change the world! It’s up to us. Choose love and never give up hope.

What a Person Believes...Is

2010-12-22T18:28:00.000-06:00

In 1969, a new TV show hit the airwaves called “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” starring Bill Bixby. There was one episode that made an impact on me, and it wasn’t so much the show as it was the words that Bill Bixby’s character said. I don’t even remember the story line, but the profound words were, “What a person believes…is.” The magnitude of that statement didn’t really hit me until many years later when I began my spiritual journey and became an open-minded believer in all things that are good.

It is so true. It doesn’t matter what a person believes; to him/her it is their truth, and for most people, you can’t tell them any different. They are right and everyone else is wrong. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, what political party you belong, where you live, how you live, or your walk of life. You believe what you believe for whatever reasons based upon your upbringing, your experiences, and everything you were taught.

Many years ago, I attended a Native American Sweat Lodge (you sit inside a dome that contains extremely high heat and you sweat). Afterwards, I was talking to the Ceremonial Singer and out of the blue, he made the statement, “There’s no such thing as right or wrong.” I replied, “Killing is wrong!” He countered, “What happens if that person had to kill to save himself or a family member, or those at war?” We batted back and forth on various topics, but he continued to have a reply to everything I said. It took me a good two weeks of constantly pondering that statement before the light bulb went off over my head and I got it. In other words, I changed my beliefs. There really isn’t any such thing as right or wrong, good or bad; it’s our perception that makes it so. Nothing has meaning except for the meaning you give to it.

Some people will argue that they have facts to back up their beliefs. I can guarantee you that there will be someone else who has facts to back up the exact opposite beliefs. That is one reason I take the title “expert” very lightly. For every expert on one subject, you will find another expert who can prove the exact opposite of the first expert.

We used to believe that the earth was flat and that the sun revolved around the earth. People were put in prison or killed because of those beliefs. Certain cultures were believed to be sub-human and genocide occurred to get rid of them (this continues in some countries today).

Just because someone believes something different than you does not mean that they are right or wrong. It’s just what they believe at this time in their life. I always tell people that I refuse to argue religion, politics, or opinion. If people want to share and discuss their beliefs, I can discuss with the best of them; but I will not argue and try to make me right and them wrong. Think about how some of your beliefs have changed over the course of your lifetime.

A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking and our thoughts can change, which changes our beliefs. Johann Goethe said “Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so he is.” Proverbs 23:7 says “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” The Buddha states: “All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.” James Allen wrote a book titled “As a Man Thinketh,” which I would highly recommend everyone read. (It’s available free at www.asamanthinketh.net.)

I totally believe that our core belief should be based on unconditional love and build from there. Embrace the diversity that is in our world. We are all the same but different. Allow people to believe whatever they want to believe and respect their right to believe whatever that want to believe (as long as they are not hurting anyone; they still need to be held accountable for their actions). If we could just accept those who believe differently, think how much better we could get along as a people, a nation, and as a world.

Even though life can be really rough sometimes, it’s our thoughts about those experiences that will make or break us. I would like to close with a quote I came up with several years ago. “Life is beautiful, life is good, life is what you believe it to be.”

The Magical and Miraculous Holiday Season

2010-12-04T18:43:00.002-06:00

The holiday season is here and for many of us, it is a season of magic, miracles, joy, and laughter, spending time with friends and family in love and companionship, and eating holiday food to our heart’s desire. We look forward to the holidays and always see them pass with fond memories. Seeing the holiday decorations brings warm feelings, and people feel a connectedness to everyone that is not normally felt outside of the season. Charities see a boost in giving, people go out of their way to see that the hungry are fed, children are given toys, and we are a little kinder to neighbors and strangers alike. Even the holiday movies are festive and always have a happy ending.

On the other side, there are those who do not experience the magic and miracles of the holidays, but instead, the holidays are something to dread and fill them with much anxiety. Family gatherings are a nightmare, and it tends to be an extremely stressful time. There are those who are suffering sometimes more than the average person should have to suffer. I have so many friends who are going through the most awful stuff right now. We all know family, friends, neighbors, and strangers, who are struggling just to get through each day, let alone another holiday season.

So how can we bring a little magic and maybe a miracle or two to those who are not as fortunate as we are this holiday season? There are so many ways we can reach out and touch someone, and possibly change a life, even if just for the moment. Sometimes just a smile can brighten someone’s day. A hug, a kind word, a compliment…. That may be the only kindness that person has received in days, weeks, months, or even years.

I remember many years ago, I was working with an older woman and she was having a bad day. I gave her a hug, and afterwards, she commented, “Gee, I don’t even remember the last time someone hugged me.” A friend in college told me that before we met, she was considering taking her life, but after we became friends, she changed her mind. All I did was become her friend.

We never know how we touch someone’s life. We may even unknowingly save a life. It doesn’t take much. There are countless ways to help people. The smaller ways are to smile, offer a friendly hello, commit random acts of kindness, send a card of encouragement, call someone and tell them you were thinking about them, or ask if there is anything you can do to help. If you are financially able, take a box of food to someone who is in need, take them out to dinner once in a while, offer to babysit or sit for an elder to give someone a break; the ways are endless.

It’s so easy to sit in judgment of what others are going through because it is easier than having to love, have compassion, or understanding. Some think a homeless person is lazy, a depressed person can just snap out of it, the unemployed only need to go out and get a job, the addict only needs to stop the addiction… There is always a bigger picture. People are the way they are for whatever reasons, based on their upbringing, their environment, experiences, and beliefs. We never know a person’s state of mind.

But maybe we can start the healing. Maybe we can be the spark that starts them on their road to having a better life. Sometimes all a person needs is to feel validated as a human being, that their life means something to someone, that someone cares, to know that someone loves them. You don’t know how much the words “I love you” can mean to someone.

So, this holiday season, let’s reach out and touch someone with love, kindness, compassion, and understanding. Even better…let’s continue throughout the year and see how we can make this world a better place. Jesus said… “whatever you do for the one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you do for me.” (Matt. 25:40) It begins with us. Be the magic. Be the miracle. Be the love. Isn’t that what Christmas is all about?

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The Well of Depression

2010-11-12T13:09:00.003-06:00

As the commercial says… “Depression Hurts.” But for those experiencing the bottomless, dark well of depression, it goes much deeper than that. I call it the “well of depression” because when someone is acutely depressed, they feel like they are caught in this great, dark abyss with no sight of light anywhere to be found. With no light, they lose hope. And with no hope, they lose their will to live.

According to some statistics, over 15 million people in the United States are suffering from depression. From what I see, it is one of the most misunderstood disorders we can experience. Most people have the idea that you can just snap out of depression. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Depression is real and it affects people of all ages, races, and cultures in some form or another. And unless you have experienced depression, you do not have a clue what it is like. I also want to make it clear that there is a big difference between feeling depressed, and being in a depression. All people have periods of feeling depressed, but they can come out of it just as easily as they went into it. For depression, it’s not that easy.

Over the course of my adult life, I have experienced depression to varying degrees. Because of my happy-go-lucky personality and a great ability to hide my feelings, no one ever knew the extent of what I was feeling. For those who are good at sweeping things under the rug, we know that at some point, the bump in the rug is going to become large enough that we are going to trip over it, and trip over it I did. After years of swallowing my feelings and hiding the depression, it finally manifested itself as a total breakdown in 1997. I was living in an apartment on my own at the time, but since I was now unable to function, my parents had to move me in with them.

Unfortunately, at the time, my parents didn’t understand depression and thought like most people, that all I had to do was snap out of it, get a job, and I would be fine. As I said, it’s not that simple. For the next couple of years, I did a lot of crying and sleeping. I also swallowed a lot of anger because no one seemed to understand what I was going through, so I continued to swallow my feelings. Because my mind was so busy all the time, I also suffered from insomnia. At one point, I took two many pills three times (though not enough to cause harm, but enough to scare me}, not to hurt myself, but I just wanted to stop thinking. At that point, my doctor suggested that I admit myself to a psychiatric hospital where I stayed for four days. I thought “finally, I’ll get the help that I need.” Didn’t happen. I didn’t get any counseling or therapy. The hospital just kept me until my insurance company said no more. In fact, the day after I admitted myself, I was feeling okay, and ended up counseling the other patients.

The good thing was that I had begun delving into spirituality before the breakdown and had begun to learn about the power of our thoughts. The first couple of years I was with my parents, I read book after book about spirituality, self-empowerment, motivational, and any other book I could find that might help me get out of that deep dark well. I kept an open mind in all things. I started to work on my thoughts. And I started to get better and heal. I also started taking anti-depressants which would help balance my “brain critters” until I could get a good handle on life.

At one point, I did start seeing a therapist, but she told me I was only paying her to tell me the same things that I was telling myself, and that she never had a patient like me because I knew what to do to get better. I was looking forward and not back. You can’t move forward if you’re always looking in the rearview mirror.

Granted, my depression wasn’t as severe as many who have gone through it. I didn’t experience any traumatic events that spiraled me into the abyss. Therefore, I wasn’t as deep in the well as most. I saw the light at the top and had a point to move towards. And I moved into that light to wellness.

It’s amazing to me to see how many people are experiencing this awful disease. For a time, I worked in the medical records department of a mental health center and was surrounded by thousands of files filled with many stories of people who experienced the most horrific and traumatic periods in their lives. I would walk through the waiting area filled with people, and since I’m so sensitive to people’s energies, I could “feel” their helplessness and desperation.

Recently, I watched an episode of “Oprah” when Marie Osmond was the guest, and she talked about her son’s suicide when he jumped off the balcony of his apartment complex to his death. In all outward appearances, her son seemed happy and well-adjusted. But he was, like me, good at hiding what he was feeling.

Suicide is an extreme result of depression and another issue that people don’t understand and are very judgmental about. People don’t want to commit suicide. They just want to end the pain, and in that one split second of desperation, they make that rash decision to end their life.

So…what’s the answer? Why are so many people experiencing depression? Why has it grown to such epidemic proportions? There are probably just as many answers as there are symptoms and reasons, but as of now, no miracle cure. In my case, I was able to heal by really working on my thoughts. At one point, I hated myself with a passion. I hated everything about me. I also ate all the wrong foods resulting in a eating disorder. Too much sugar, processed foods, chemicals, etc. My belief is that the foods we take in are one of the biggest culprits to depression (outside of dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic experience}. I was already a vegetarian, but I cut out most all fake foods. I’m still working on the sugar, but I’m a lot better than I was. I also began a serious spiritual journey and worked on listening to that still inner voice within. The voice of Spirit. And that voice will never fail you.

At this point in my life, even though I’m not always happy with my life circumstances, I can say that I am probably the best I’ve ever been. I’m happy within, I have a very positive and optimistic outlook on life, and I want to help others to overcome their own life struggles in order to be the happy and joyful person they were meant to be. I am now a motivational speaker and my intention is to teach people to learn to love and accept themselves as they are, and to share my own life experiences so that maybe, they too, can learn what I learned.

I also really believe that a great part of overcoming depression is to learn to love yourself unconditionally, to know that you were meant to be, and always were, this wonderful, beautiful, magnificent being. You were meant to have a healthy self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. We were born that way! Somehow, though, along the way of growing up, we’ve forgotten.

For anyone who is experiencing depression, or knows someone who is, my heart goes out to you. If you or anyone you know is suffering from any signs of this dark illness, please get help. Do not think that they are just going through a phase and will snap out of it. Don’t take chances. It only takes that one split-second decision to make that rash decision to take a life. Stop it before that happens. There’s always hope. Anthony Robbins once said, “Never take away a person’s hope because that may be all they have left.”

For those who are reading this and are in that abyss, know that you are loved. You are worthy. You are a wonderful, magnificent child of the Universe. Never give up. Hang in there and keep looking for the answers until you find them. They are there. I promise.

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The Man at the Back of the Church

2010-10-03T11:12:00.005-05:00

In 1989, I had a dream. Or was it? I woke to remember every detail and wrote it down. It begins:

It happened one beautiful spring Sunday morning when the daffodils were blooming and the grass was an emerald green. The sun was shining so warm and bright that it made everyone want to be out playing in its golden rays. It is also an experience I will remember for a lifetime.

The church was one of those little country churches that sits in a valley with little houses spread among the countryside. It had a large steeple, which held the huge bell that rang when the services were about to begin. Under the steeple were the double doors that welcomed its visitors into the comfortable interior of pews, which faced the small stage at the front. There was one isle down the middle of the pews. The sun shined through the beautiful stained glass windows on each side of the church walls and cast a wonderment of colors over the congregation.

On this particular Sunday, I had gone to church and was sitting near the front like I usually do. It was a good Sunday attendance with people filling most all the seats except the very back two and the front pew. The youth choir was going to put on one of their programs; so all the moms, dads, sisters, brothers, grandparents, and others were anxiously awaiting to see their loved ones have their moment of stardom.

Pastor Drew was really into his sermon that morning and had everyone’s’ rapt attention. Hardly a fidget was noticed in the congregation. Even the children were behaving themselves as if they understood every word the preacher was saying.

Suddenly, a man walked in the back door. Out of normal curiosity, people began turning around to see who would be so rude to walk in late. What they saw shocked even the most liberal of churchgoers. The man had long, shoulder length brown hair, a beard and mustache, his clothing was a long, dark, purple robe, and he wore brown sandals on his feet! The man stood for a moment looking over the people in the congregation and then quietly took a seat in a pew at the back of the church.

Murmurs and whispers were heard around the congregation as people wondered why this street vagrant would walk into their church. Others wondered where he came from and why he would even show up in their little town. Why was he dressed like that? Who did he think he was? Old Mrs. Simmons, the church gossip, was being sure to take everything in so she could let all the ladies in the church group know exactly what went on this Sunday morning. Children snickered and a few pointed at "that man."

Pastor Drew noticed the man, and seeing the way he was dressed, caused him to stutter over his words. But being the professional that he was, he was able to compose himself rather quickly. Actually, inside he smiled as he thought it was wonderful that this man felt comfortable enough to walk in as he was. But heaven forbid if he let any of the church people know. Why, they would vote him right out of the pulpit and get someone else whom they knew they could control and who saw things their way. No, he'll keep his thoughts to himself.

Right now he needed to get the attention of his congregation again, so just at the right moment he THUNDERED his voice to make his point, and sure enough, people began to turn their attention back to him (except for a few of the little ones whose parents had to nudge them to get them to face front again).

Through all this, the man at the back of the church just sat quietly listening to the sermon as if it were the most natural thing in the world to come in off the street, walk into a strange church, and sit down.

After things quieted down, my curiosity began to get the best of me, and I slowly turned around to look at this strange man. He seemed so content, and his eyes…. There was something about his eyes. I didn't mean to stare at him, but I just couldn't stop watching him. Suddenly, he turned his gaze towards me and he smiled. Not a big smile, but just enough to let me know that he knew I was watching him.

Again, those eyes. They were so full of love, and peace, and compassion. I felt myself being drawn towards this man like I was in some sort of trance.

Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. I slowly got up from my seat, and while a few turned to see me get up, I walked towards this man at the back of the church. When I got to him, he quietly stood up to let me sit next to him. He looked at me and smiled that smile again, and then he turned his attention back to the preacher. I did the same, and we sat like this for the rest of the service.

When the service was over, people got up from their seats and began walking back the isle to leave the church. The man and I just sat there, while people stared and whispered as they walked by us. Not one person greeted this man, nor welcomed him to our church. All along, the man just sat there and didn't seem uncomfortable at all. I had the feeling it had happened to him so many times before that he was used to it.

When every last person had shook hands with the preacher and had left the building, the man stood up and began walking out the door with me following on his footsteps. When he came to the preacher, he took the preacher's hand in both of his and quietly said, "It was a nice sermon. Don't be so concerned about what other people think. Do what comes from your heart." At that, he left. I gave the preacher a quick shake of the hand and followed after the man.

I didn't know where he was going, but I kept a silent pace beside him. I wasn't afraid at all. I just felt I had to be near this man, speak to him, find out what he was about; but I was apprehensive about speaking. I didn't know what to say.

We found a country path that led into the woods and began following it. I knew I was taking a chance walking into the dense trees with a man I didn't know, but still, I followed. Finally, in a meek voice, I asked him, "Sir, may I ask your name?" In a quiet voice, he answered, "My name is Jesus." I just had to ask, didn't I? I mean, who else would he claim to be dressed the way he was. For some reason, though, I didn't disbelieve him.

We walked a ways more when he spoke in what I've come to think was his naturally quiet voice. "Do you believe that I am Jesus, the Son of God?" (When he spoke, it reminded me of David Carradine in the TV show "Kung Fu.") My goodness, what was I to say? I didn't want him to think I thought he was just some nut that happened into our part of the woods. I mean, what if he really was the Son of God? It could happen, you know. I thought for a moment on how best to answer this and replied, "I won't say that you're NOT the Son of God."

A few moments went by and the man didn't say any more. If he really was the Jesus, there was so much I wanted to ask him, to talk to him about. But if he was just some guy who thought he was Jesus, then I'd be making a real fool of myself asking him all my most innermost, sacred questions. Then I got to thinking… What did I have to lose? No one would know I was asking him these things. This was just one chance I could not pass up.

Well, here goes. "Sir, please forgive me for doubting. You have to understand that there are hundreds of people all over the world who claim to be you. How are we to know if one of them was really you? Or if you're really you now?" Oh, that's a great start, girl. Real intelligent questions those are. Now who's the nut? This man who claims to be Jesus, or me for following him and believing he is?

Again, I ventured at making intelligent conversation. "Sir, why did you come here, to our church, today?" He replied, "I visit many churches around the world."

I continued. "You know, there's one thing I've always wanted to ask you. There are millions of people on this earth with just as many different beliefs and thousands of different religions, how are we to know which one is right or wrong?"

Slowly, he said, "The important thing is, what do you believe?"

"But how do I know if what I believe is right? What am I supposed to believe? Everyone is always telling me I should believe their way. I can't really even trust what the Bible says any more. It seems that everyone has a different interpretation of what it says and means, and each says that their interpretation is the right one. It can all be pretty confusing."

He glanced at me for a moment and replied, "Trust your own heart. Your own faith. The Spirit that is within you. Do you not try to believe what is right? Do you seek me with all your heart the same as you seek righteousness?

"Yes, I do. I'm always searching for answers and I always try to do what's right. I also try to leave myself open for what you would have me to believe."

We were both silent for a few moments as we continued walking up the path to a large, open meadow surrounded by trees. The meadow was filled with the most beautiful yellow and purple flowers. It's funny, but I noticed that as we walked, everything seemed to be so much more alive and beautiful. It could have been my imagination, but I could swear that animals of all kinds would peek their heads out of the bushes to watch him go by.

I continued with my questions. "Sir, whey do people judge each other so much? Sometimes, it seems as if some Christians are the worst. They judge the way people look, the way they dress, the way they live, the way they believe… Just because someone believes differently or has different opinions…."

He seemed to contemplate this for a moment and then said, "People judge what they don't understand because it is easier than having to love, having compassion, and understanding. People fear the unknown and they wrap themselves in their beliefs like they would a blanket, to protect themselves and their feelings. It makes them feel safe that what they believe is the right way.”

We stood in the clearing for a few moments just enjoying the breathtaking sight before us. My mind was going a mile a minute trying to think of things I wanted to ask this man, but at the moment, everything seemed so jumbled up, and I couldn't think straight. So, I just stood there, enjoying being in his presence.

A few minutes passed when I happened to look down and found a beautiful little flower that seemed to stand out among the rest, and I bent down away from the man to pick it out from the blanket of color it rested in. While my back was to the man, he spoke to me.

"Karen, there is one thing that I want you to remember. I will always love you, no matter what. Remember this always."

Just as he finished speaking, I stood up and turned to give him the flower, but he was gone! I looked around to see if he had wandered off on his own, but he was nowhere to be seen. He couldn't have gone off into the woods that quickly. I stood there stunned, wondering what happened to him, how he could have disappeared so quickly. There was only one explanation, one that I was almost afraid to admit, but hoped that it would be so.

I really didn't want my time with him to end. There was so much more I wanted to ask him. I wanted just to be in his presence for a while longer. Not knowing what to do, I sat down on the ground where he last stood and smelled the flower I had just picked for him moments earlier.

I don't know how long I sat there. The first I noticed that it might be getting late was when I felt a chill from the evening air as the sun started to go down. I felt like I could sit there forever, but I knew it was time to be getting on home.

As I stood, I looked around to be sure that the man really wasn't standing anywhere where I could see him. When I couldn't find him, I sighed and began walking back towards the church.

Thoughts continued to run through my mind as I thought back on what had happened to me that day. Was the man I spoke to really Jesus, the Son of God? Or was he just a man off the street who thought he was? Did I really touch a bit of heaven and share in the presence of our Holy Spirit? Or was it all just a dream? I will probably never know the answer to these questions.

I do know that I will not deny that I met Jesus and spent some time with him. But I also know that I don't think I am going to go around telling people that I actually met and spoke with him. No, I think that this will be an experience that I will keep for myself. My very special secret. One that I will remember through eternity. A secret that has changed my life forever.

Copyrighted 1989
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Choose Love

2010-09-12T15:07:00.004-05:00

Lately, I have been working at choosing love every moment of every day of my life. Is it easy? Hardly. Can it be done? Mostly.

Over the past several years, I have also been working on the thoughts I choose to think. Do I think positive thoughts? Or do I choose to live in the mire of negativity? I find that I am much happier if I choose positive, optimistic loving thoughts. Once I learned that it’s my choice, then I’m more aware of the thoughts that I entertain in my brain. I love the saying: “You may not be able to stop a bird from landing on your head, but you sure can stop it from building a nest.”

I haven’t always been able to keep my thoughts in a positive frame of mine, and there are times when I still struggle with it. It depends on how I’m feeling and what’s going on in my life. I know there are life issues that I or anyone else may be dealing with that can greatly influence the thoughts that go through our heads. I used to think really horrible thoughts about myself. I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’m worthless, won’t amount to anything, why try because it won’t work out anyway… Now I know that those thoughts are lies. Outright lies. I don’t think those thoughts about other people, so why on earth would I think them about myself?

The saying is true: “Change your thoughts; change your life.” This morning on the Joel Osteen televised service, he talked about if we change our perspective, we change our life. And it’s true. I always say: “There is nothing right or wrong, good or bad; it’s just our perspective that makes it so.” Changing your perspective will change your thoughts which will change your life.

Most of what we know, believe, and/or think is taught to us. We believe it because someone told us it was so. Once you learn that you have a choice over what you believe, think, or know, then you can search for the Truth, that Truth is within everyone one of us, and that Truth is always in Love. Not everyone will see the same Truth, but it will be their Truth nonetheless, and that’s okay.

So, how am I choosing love? My first challenge was to change the thoughts I had upon first awakening. It used to be that as soon as I opened my eyes, I would think, “Oh, Shit.” Honest! It took awhile to change that one. Now I am working on my first thoughts being: “It’s a beautiful day! I am going to have a great day! Life is good! All my dreams are coming true! I am prosperous and abundant in all things. I love my life!” And then I go into my gratitudes: “Thank you for my home, that I have a warm bed to sleep in, food to eat, my health, my body, my babies (animals), my parents, friends….” I try to do this no matter how I’m feeling physically or mentally. Sometimes, it’s a challenge. But I can sure tell you it’s a whole lot better than “Oh, shit!”

Next is how I can I spread that love? One of the easiest ways to spread love is to do random acts of kindness. Just be kind to people. Ask yourself, “What can I do to brighten someone’s day?” Just smiling and saying hi to someone can make a world of difference to that person. It may be the only smile they’ve received in days, months, or years. I’ve read stories where just a smile or word of kindness can impact a person’s life greatly. Be kind even if you don’t receive any response. You’re not being kind to be thanked. You’re doing it to give and spread love. I remember giving a woman a hug one time because she was having a pretty rough day, and she responded by saying, “Gosh, I don’t even remember the last time someone hugged me!”

I like shooting people with “thought wads of love” (like a spit wad). As I pass them, I shoot them a love wad. On the physical level, they don’t know it, but spirit to spirit, they do. Or maybe they do feel it on some level and they all of a sudden have a good feeling, but don’t know where it came from. We’ll never know. But I do it anyway.

Also, who are we choosing to love or to send love to? All the great spiritual leaders throughout history ~ Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Allah, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, Martin Luther King, Jr. ~ have taught that we are to love ALL living beings unconditionally.

I work as a temporary in the medical records department of a mental health center, and most days, the waiting room is filled with people who are in the most horrible pain. As I see any of these patients, I quietly bless them, smile, and say hello. Many times, they just stare at me. But that’s okay. You never know how you may touch someone’s life.

We can all think back to where someone’s kindness touched us deeply and we remember it for the rest of our lives. Are you going to be one of those who touches someone in a positive and loving way so that maybe, just maybe, you made their life a little better because of your touch? Or are you going to be mean spirited, grumpy, and bring someone down? Remember that there is a domino effect. You pass on a kindness in love, and then they pass on a kindness, and they pass on a kindness…. Or you pass on grouchiness or meanness and then they pass on that feeling to someone else and on down the line. We also need to remember that what we give out, we receive in return in some way or some form. It may not be immediate, but it is the law of the Universe that it will return.

Therefore, my friends…. Choose love. Because it has already chosen you.
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Surviving a Genocide

2010-03-17T11:14:00.004-05:00

Last night, I went to Tennessee Tech University to hear Immaculee Ilibagiza speak. For those of you who are not familiar with Immaculee, she is a survivor of the 1994 Rwandan genocide. I first heard of Immaculee at a Louise Hay “I Can Do It” seminar I attended in Orlando, Florida several years ago. This woman has influenced my life like no other. I would highly recommend reading her books “Left to Tell” and “Led by Faith.”

To give a brief overview of her life…. She was attending college at the time, and during an Easter holiday, she went home to visit her family. That’s when all hell broke lose…literally. The Hutu’s stormed the country slaughtering all Tutsi’s regardless of whether they were friends or family. They were doing what they were told to do. Hate reigned. Immaculee’s father insisted she go to the home of a Hutu minister for safety. The Hutu minister hid Immaculee and seven other women in a small bathroom measuring 3’ x 4’. That’s eight woman (actually, one was a seven year old child) in a tiny room. They stayed hidden in this tiny space for three months. They weren’t allowed to talk and could only flush the toilet when the toilet on the other side of the wall was flushed. Not even the minister’s family knew they were in there.

Every day, hundreds of Hutu’s would go through the home looking for them. The minister put a dresser closet in front of the door to hide it. The women could only eat when the minister was able to slip them scraps of food. When Immaculee went into the bathroom, she weighed 115 pounds. When she came out, she weighed 65 pounds.

During her time in the bathroom, she prayed using her rosary beads. She would go through the beads a couple hundred times a day, trying to make sense of everything, and trying to deal with her fear. It wasn’t easy, but she began to come to peace with everything. What is even more amazing was that she was able to forgive those who murdered her family, friends, and relatives. No one was left of her immediate family except for one brother who was out of the country at the time of the genocide.

When the women were able to finally come out of the bathroom and escape to a refugee camp, they had to walk on a road where piles of dead body lined both sides. Can you imagine seeing something so horrendous!?! How she was able to come through all these experiences sane is amazing. This is the power of love and forgiveness.

Later, the “magic” of serendipity led her to meet Wayne Dyer, and when he heard her story, he said she had to write about it, and what’s more, he would see that it got published. What he didn’t know what that she had already written about her experiences, but just didn’t know how to go about getting it published.

Immaculee is a great example of forgiveness. I don’t know if I could be so forgiving if anyone slaughtered most everyone I knew and loved. What Immaculee taught me was not only the power of forgiveness, but to count my blessings. When I think of what she went through, I have no problems (though you can’t swallow those problems; you still have to deal with them). I am very blessed in spite of what I consider to be lack or obstacles in my life. Her story also helps me keep things in perspective.

During the question and answer session after her speaking, several members stood up in the audience and told of their own experiences with genocide. They, too, had lost members of their family. One gentleman mentioned that he just lost his brother recently in the genocide which is still occurring in Africa.

Today, Immaculee works with the United Nations, is married and has children. She also began a charitable organization called “The Left to Tell Charitable Fund” that helps orphaned children from the genocides, to relocate them to better places, takes care of them, and helps them with their education and the pain from their ordeals.

One of the men at TN Tech and I got to talking about the conditions of other countries. Most Americans do not have a clue how good they have it here, no matter how depressing their circumstances may seem. People in other countries have nothing and have no access to even the simplest things that we have in our country. If we’re hungry, we at least have options. In other countries, they don’t even have any of the resources that we have. Genocide is still occurring in some countries of the world! How America and other countries can turn a blind eye to these atrocities is beyond me.

I often think it would be great if we could establish a program where seniors in school could spend a semester doing humanitarian work in one of these challenged countries. The students would come back changed beyond their imaginations. They might learn to appreciate what they do have. They might choose to be of service to others. They might learn to count their blessings and not turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, or other addictions to try to escape the situations they find themselves in. It would teach them that life isn’t all about ‘me’ and they would choose professions where they can actually help change the world for the better.

Immaculee, you’ve changed my life and I’m a better person because you live. I’m a better person because I learned from what you went through. And, I’ve learned the power of love and forgiveness. Thank you, Immaculee.

For more information about Immaculee, please go to http://www.immaculee.com/

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Being Our Brother's Keepers

2010-01-19T12:32:00.002-06:00

What is happening in Haiti is both tragic and heart-wrenching. It is only by fate that this didn’t happen to us here in America. As Americans, we’ve been very fortunate to have very few catastrophes in our history as compared to other countries. For this, we should feel very fortunate and grateful.

Dealing with these types of tragedies where there has been a great loss of life, as well as countless injuries, can be very difficult and depressing. My heart goes out to all the Haitians and those who are affected by the destruction of these precious lives. I wish there were some magic formula to make everything better at an instant. But there isn’t. Other than providing prayers and aide, we just have to trust the process here on this planet.

Everyone has their way of dealing with horrible situations. I have my own theory that I’d like to share with you, though it’s just a theory. Others have written and spoken about this belief system. All I know is that it helps me and gives me peace in the midst of chaos.

I believe that before we come to this earth in human form, on a soul level, we choose everything we want to experience on this planet. We choose our parents, we choose the date and place we want to be born, we choose the conditions we wish to experience, and we choose the date and way we leave wish to leave.

When my grandmother died, which devastated me as I loved her so much; it brought me some peace to believe that her soul chose to leave at that time. After our souls serve their purpose (reason for being here), they go back home. Some call it making out a contract and when that contract is completed, they leave.

Let’s look at a possible scenario where a soul is choosing what s/he wants to experience on the earth plane. Soul Sue decides that she wants to take a trip to earth to go on all kinds of exciting adventures. She has a contract in front of her (or on a heavenly computer) that lists thousands of scenarios to choose from. Sue chooses parents who don’t get along and fight all the time because she wants to experience what that is like. She also chooses to have a difficult childhood because she wants to glean the wisdom that comes from having to grow up so quickly. Sue knows Joe on the other side, and they get together to contract that they will meet on earth to get married and have an abusive marriage, because she wants to learn to become empowered and take back control of her human life. She also checks off that after she gets divorced, she meets the man of her dreams who treats her with great respect and loves her dearly. A few years later, she become pregnant, but experiences several miscarriages, until she has the beautiful child who was meant to be. She grows old and happy with her family. She also checks off that she wants to die at the age of 101, but she chooses to die healthy and at peace. After her purpose on earth was fulfilled, she comes back to the other side full of exciting stories about all her adventures and everything she learned.

So…how does this relate to Haiti? Not only can just a couple of people contract to share experiences on earth, but so can numerous groups of people. Let’s say that the millions of Haitians contracted to experience this before they came to earth. They not only want to have the personal experiences, but they want to be teachers for their fellow man. They see ahead of time that people on earth are in chaos and need to be reminded what is truly important, and they want to be a part of this very important mission. They look at the United States and see how they have gotten so caught up in arguing and fighting over politics, and they’ve forgotten how important it is to really take care of each other.

I truly believe, as awful as the situation in Haiti is (as well as 9/11 and others), that they happen as reminders to we humans how we really are our brothers keepers. It seems that in only times of tragedies do we remember that it’s not all about us (individuals, groups, etc.). It really is about having love, compassion, and understanding for those around us at ALL times. When there is a tragedy, people and nations put aside their differences to come to the aid of our fellow beings. We assist in the way of money and personal aide, and we realize that we really are one.

Why must it take a catastrophe of significant circumstances for us to remember this? When there isn’t a disaster occurring, we tend to get complacent in our own problems and we forget to care and love for one another. How many times do we have to have these extreme reminders?

Let’s learn from Haiti and not let this be just another human disaster. There are people all over the world, including our own country, who need help now. Let’s put aside our differences and learn that we really are our brother’s keepers. Now and forever more.

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"Avatar"

2010-01-13T12:00:00.004-06:00

Have you seen the movie “Avatar” yet? If not, I would highly recommend it. At first, I wasn’t going to see it. I had asked myself, “Self…if this movie wasn’t in 3D, would you be interested in seeing it?” Then Self replied, “Probably not.” Except for one thing. All my friends were telling me, “You have GOT to see this movie!!!!” Rather than feel left out on what could be something really big, I relented and went to see it. I’m glad I did! It was a magnificent movie!

I love message movies anyway. Apparently, “Avatar” is being touted as one of the biggest, most recent, message movies in the Spiritual communities. The message I received is that mankind is continuing to ravage our earth while destroying complete cultures of people. That was the negative message. The positive message was that the Spirit of people (and aliens) will prevail.

It was a beautiful movie in that it was a message of love, compassion, understanding, and a loving tolerance of those who are different than we are. It is also a story of the goodness of mankind (and aliens). Several of the main human characters realize that destroying the Na’vi beings, their homes, and their land in order to get the precious resources was wrong, and they come to their aid at great expense of loss of life.

What is disturbing is that some people and organizations are actually politicizing this movie! I was watching “The View” recently and was appalled that two of the show’s cast were trying to make a military issue out of the movie (and I love “The View”). What they saw was “white, ex-marines” being the bad guys, and that this was a direct reflection on our own military and making them look bad. That had never occurred to me. What I saw was mankind, no matter what color, race, religion, or what part of the earth they came from, full of greed and selfishness, were destroying another culture for its resources and/or their land.

It was done to the American Indians in the early history of America. It was done to the Jews by Hitler and others; it’s being done in Iraq, Africa, and various other parts of the world. Genocide is still occurring even to this day to destroy a people whom we don’t agree with just because they’re different and/or to get their resources. We’re destroying the Amazon and cultures/animals just for the resources the Amazon offers.

What this movie says to me is that it is a wake-up call. It’s time we stopped the genocide, the hate, the greed, and the selfishness, and start embracing those who may not look like us, believe like us, or live like us. The greatest teaching in all the Bibles is to love one another. And yet it is one of the most ignored teachings, even here in America. And it’s time we start taking care of our earth and appreciating Her for giving us life.

Let’s stop focusing on our differences and begin focusing on what we have in common. Let’s love and embrace the good in all people and in all things. Let’s start practicing the teachings of our great spiritual teachers. Love really is the answer.

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Holiday Heavy-Duty-Life-Doo

2009-12-22T15:33:00.002-06:00

Tis the season to be jolly, falalalalala. When you think about the holidays…Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years…you usually associate them with feelings of love, warmth, family, happiness, joy… But for many, it’s anything but.

When you look around you, there are so many people who are going through the most awful “stuff” right now. What I call “heavy-duty-life-doo.” When you add the holidays, it just magnifies all the negativity that much more. Have you ever wondered why there tends to be more illnesses and deaths during the holidays?

The holidays have been hyped up so much by the media, marketers, TV, and the movies. People fall in love, receive wonderful gifts, see miracles occur, and everything always has a happy ending. If you are one who has wonderful holidays, I really am happy for you. But for many, these images are a fairy tale. And for some, they are an outright nightmare.

I see so many of my friends and loved ones struggling with their health, finances, relationships, family issues, and so much more. During the holidays, there is the added stress of eating too much food (mostly sweets), having to decide which family you will spend the which holiday with, traveling to visit those families, trying to come up with the money to buy Christmas gifts (or going into debt), and looking for the love the holidays are supposed to provide.

My heart goes out to all those who are having whatever struggles they are experiencing, especially at this time of year. Sometimes I feel so helpless because I don’t know what I can do to help. So, what can we do?

You’d be surprised at how even the smallest gesture can help brighten someone’s day. Send a card. Call just to say hi and that you’re thinking about them. Bake them some goodies or a meal. Ask if there’s anything you can do. Just let them know you care. Sometimes just knowing someone cares can make a world of a difference.

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks. Christmas is a time of love, and for Christians, a time of celebrating the birth of Jesus. For other faiths who celebrate holidays around this time of year, it’s the same for them. So, let’s remember the basics. Reach out and love someone. Say, “I care.” Remember the true meaning of the holidays.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and for all those faiths I missed, Happy Holidays! Wishing you all the very best life has to offer.

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Nasty Computer Virus

2009-11-28T11:12:00.003-06:00

I received an interesting "gift" for Thanksgiving! I got a really nasty virus on my computer, and I believe I got it right after clicking on a "friend" in Blogspot. Somehow, "Antivirus System Pro" (company is Magic Software, Inc.) got downloaded onto my computer, and it won't let you do ANYthing without buying their program. I even had McAfee on my computer. It took some work, but I was able to trick McAfee to come up and ran a scan. Even though the ASP was saying everything was infected, McAfee didn't pick up any viruses; including the ASP.

I called our internet provider and it took over two hours to finally get it off. This virus gets around your antivirus program and completely locks up your computer. I know of two other people who had this. One person had to wipe his whole hard drive to get it off. Fortunately, I did not have to do it. The tech said that hackers will get into people's programs and attach the virus, so they may not even know they're the ones doing the infecting.

Therefore, I would highly suggest that everyone download a program such as Malwarebytes at http://www.malwarebytes.org/mbam.php. Then run a scan. Don't just trust your antivirus program. This virus shut mine down.

So, what's the good that came of this? The spiritual side? The tech was able to get it off without having to wipe my hard drive. Looking at it metaphysically, I had my health. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a warm bed to sleep in, friends, and family. So, I really didn't have anything to complain about and was able to keep a good attitude. Events such as this makes us learn to keep things in perspective. It wasn't cancer. No one died. So, it was really all good.

Wishing everyone a great holiday season no matter what your faith or beliefs! It's all one big holiday!

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Out of the Mouths of Ghouls

2009-11-02T14:19:00.002-06:00

Halloween is a favorite holiday for many people, but for me, it’s…okay. I think I’ve only been to two or three Halloween parties in my life (maybe more when I was a young child). I just don’t like all the candy that we feel we “must” eat because it’s…well…it’s Halloween. My hips and thighs love it. My double chin…not so much.

This past Halloween, I was home alone watching “Halloween H20” (probably not a good combination), and handing out candy to the few kids who did come to the door. When children came, I would hand out the candy, comment on their costumes, and maybe joke around with them a little bit, depending on their ages. A group of four came to the door, and knowing a couple of the high school kids, I kidded with them. Before leaving, I heard the one saying something about my being “the nicest old lady.” Huh? Old lady? This both shocked and amused me. At what point did I become an old lady? I am currently, um, middle aged, and definitely do NOT consider myself to be an old lady.

As I pondered his statement, I remembered that when I was young, people in their middle age were considered to be old. At least to us. After giving myself a good talking to, I was able to talk myself down into not taking it too personally.

They say something along the lines that that 50 is the new 40, 40 the new 30, and so on. We’re only as young or old as we feel. We older people can feel really young, possibly even in our 20’s, and the only thing that gives it away is our body. They don’t always work the way they used to. We’re not as fast, limber, or spry as we were in our whippersnapper years. (Oh, my. Just using the word whippersnapper gives me away.) Parts of our body start sagging where we didn’t know they could sag. Our knees argue with us as we try to bend down. I always say that the older you get, the farther down it is to get to the ground. It becomes harder to reach our toenails to trim them. And wrinkles appear where we didn’t know we could get wrinkles. I’m proud of my crow’s feet. They give me character. Problem is, my crows keep getting more feet.

Personally, I don’t believe in age. If Einstein proved that there is no such thing as time, then there’s no such thing as age. Besides, I refuse to be identified by a number, whether it’s my age or my weight. Time is just something man made up to keep track of…well…time. If we didn’t have time, would we even know how old we were?

Men grow into themselves. They can grow older, get the wrinkles, put on some pounds, become bald, and they can still be dapper and dignified. Women are expected to stay young with youthful bodies, and if we get a wrinkle or a drop of cellulite anywhere…heaven forbid!

Women (and some men) have also resorted to injecting a life-threatening toxin called Botox into their faces to try to keep wrinkles away. Since when did this become an accepted form of wrinkle treatment and how on earth did it get approved? According to the CDC, “Symptoms of botulism include double vision, blurred vision, drooping eyelids, slurred speech, difficulty swallowing, dry mouth, and muscle weakness that moves down the body, usually affecting the shoulders first, then the upper arms, lower arms, thighs, calves, etc. Paralysis of breathing muscles can cause a person to stop breathing and die, unless assistance with breathing (mechanical ventilation) is provided.” I don’t care how miniscule an amount they use, I do not want ANY toxin injected into me. What are we thinking?!?!

Getting older. We can’t avoid it. It’s inevitable. There are many good things that come with getting older. We become wiser. We have a wealth of experience to pass on to the younger generations. Our children may be our future, but we are our history. Let’s learn to embrace getting older with high esteem and class. We are unique. We are magnificent. And we should give ourselves a lot of credit for making it this far. Especially if we can have a sense of humor about it all.

So, as I go about my days, still trying to find that youthful serum that may make me look at least a few weeks younger, I will continue to work on myself and to accept the fact that in some eye’s, I have become….an old lady.
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It Pays to Be A Woman

2009-10-08T16:48:00.004-05:00

The other day, I needed some make-up, so I went to Walmart to buy what I needed. I was shocked at how high the price was! Twice as what it was the last time I bought it! Then it got me thinking. We women pay a LOT of money to look our best. Here is what I came up with (men…pay attention here!):

When it comes to our faces… First we need a toner to make sure that our face really is clean. Then we need a face lotion to smooth over our face and neck. But that won’t do for the eyes, so we need an eye cream. Of course, these lotions and creams must be anti-wrinkle, anti-aging, and have an SPF to keep us safe from the sun. To add color to our faces, we need a foundation to smooth out the blotches and uneven areas. Add to this, the cover-up make-up to cover up any blotches or scars.

We also need to be able to take off the make-up so we have eye make-up remover and regular make-up removers. And who can forget the night creams and eye creams to work on our faces while we are sleeping, again all to remove wrinkles and keep us from aging! (Ha! Like THAT’s going to happen!)

We move on to more color. A good blush can make our faces look slimmer and our cheekbones more pronounced. If we need it, we can use several colors to achieve the perfect cheeks. Then comes the eye color. There are hundreds of colors so that you can shape your eyes to almost any shape you desire. If we need to make our eyes stand out a little more, we can add eyeliner, or even fake eye lashes. We also brush on mascara, but it can’t be any ordinary mascara; it’s the ‘extend the lashes five to seven times the length’ mascara.

After we have all that applied, there is face powder to set everything else in place that we have already put on. We also have to have a compact that we carry with us so that we can keep the shine off our faces and do those little touch-ups.

This is just the face. Now on to the hair. If you go down the isles of any store, you will see rows and rows of shampoos, conditioners, gels, mousses, spritzes, sprays, volume lifters, and the list goes on. If our hair isn’t the color we want, there are hundreds of hair dye products to choose from. If we dye our hair, we have to have the special products to use on colored treated hair.

Then there are the body lotions with anti-aging, anti-wrinkling, and fragrances to keep the rest of our skin smooth and silky. Don’t forget just the right deodorant, too! And deodorant for places you never thought you would have deodorant for! Must smell good in ALL places!

What woman doesn’t shave her legs? (Okay, you can always tell the extent of my social life by how long the hair is on my legs, but we won’t go there. Grin.) There are all kinds of razors to choose from in a variety of colors. Add to that the shaving gels to keep us from nicking ourselves, as well as keeping our legs silky and smooth. And I'd like to know who on earth came up with waxing!!! That's like yanking every nose hair out of your nostrils!

Of course, we also need to keep our nails looking good. There are creams and lotions for the nails, the nail primer, nail color, topcoat, files, buffers, fake nails, and now little stickers to put on the nails. And then you need to be able to take all this off, so there are nail polish removers. Once that’s done, we need hand lotions to keep our hands looking young and smooth.

Who can leave out the perfumes? We love our perfumes. I have a dresser top full of perfumes of all shapes, sizes, and smells. We women MUST smell good!

Now we have our make-up, hair, and bodies done, and we’re smelling good, so now on to the underwear. We have push up bras, bras with padding, gel, bubbles of water to pump up our size, lace, and under wire. Our bras are just as pretty as our outer clothes with lace, patterns, and they come in all shapes and sizes. AND we must keep our fat in place, so we have girdles, Spanx, Dr. 90210, and other torture items that we squeeze and stuff ourselves into. Who cares that we can’t breathe! We look an eighth of an inch thinner! (I admit it. I wore one a few weeks ago. I literally had to squeeze my body into it, and now I can’t find my bellybutton. I think it’s now on my back hip.)

We then have the outer clothes that we wear, and what a variety we have to choose from! Of course, most of the sizes nowadays will only fit a Barbie doll, but how we try to squeeze into them! Or we buy the lesser sizes because we are determined that ONE DAY we WILL fit into them. (Goodness knows I have a half a closet of those types of clothes!)

And who can forget the shoes? The pointier the toes, and the taller the heals, the better we’re told our legs and feet look! Women are out there walking on stilts JUST to make our legs look a little slimmer!

Of course, we need to accessorize! Earrings, rings, watches, bracelets, necklaces, toe rings, ankle bracelets, hair ornaments, hair ties, hair bows…

Men! Do you not know what we go through to look good and how much money we spend?!?!

GOODness!

Now on to the men…. If you go down any isle of any department store, the sections for just men are few and far between. There’s a small selection of razors usually in just a couple of colors, as well as some electric shavers. A selection of shaving creams and aftershaves. Do you ever see the creams and lotions with the anti-aging, anti-wrinkling- and SPF in them for men? I think not! (At least I haven’t, or maybe I haven’t looked recently.)

Are shampoos and conditioners marketed towards men? Men will choose from a selection of shampoos, and possibly conditioners, but what man will walk out with a hot pink bottle with lovely fragrance?

There is a selection of deodorants with some manly fragrances, but not as many as there are for women. And again, you won’t see the flowery, brightly colored, perfumed deodorants. How many commercials do you see men wearing short sleeves dancing with their arms up in the air showing off their armpits? (Personally, I would like to just have armpits again. I know they’re in there somewhere!)
Men might use some body lotion if they have dry skin, but it’s not pushed on them like it is for women.

Ever see men wear girdles? Men have jockey shorts and boxer shorts. (I will wear an under wire bra when men start wearing under wire in their jockeys!) Do men’s underwear come with padding, gels, water balloons, or push-ups? I think not. (Okay, maybe they exist somewhere. It wouldn’t surprise me anyway. I’m still waiting for Hannah Montana men’s underwear. It’s in everything else!)

And clothes? Men just put something on to get out the door. For work, most wear suits and a tie. They may be able to play a little with colorful and cute (okay, manly) ties, but suits are usually dark. How many outfits do you think a man tries on before going out, wondering if what they are wearing makes them look fat?

Do they paint their toes? Wear toe rings? Yes, I realize that some men do now wear jewelry, but not like we women!

Men will wear cologne, and who doesn’t love a nice smelling man, but you don’t usually see the large selection as in women’s fragrances.

Other than that, men do not have nearly the upkeep we women have!

Women, and especially young women and young girls, feel the pressure to do all this to look good. How often can we women just walk out the door without our make-up or having our hair looking just right? It took me years before I could go anywhere without make-up. Okay, so just a few years ago, but I had to literally force myself to do so.

Personally, I’m tired of the hype. I’m tired of women having to look a certain way to feel loved and accepted. I’m tired of the moneymakers making us feel worthless if we don’t buy their products! I say let’s strike the beauty and fashion industries! Okay, okay, I know that’s not going to happen. But let’s start looking at this for what it really is. The industries are there to make money. They don’t really care about us. They know they have us from the word ‘anti-aging!’

What can we do? Let’s work at loving and accepting ourselves as we are, and not be brainwashed into thinking we’re anything less than magnificent if we don’t conform to those ideals that don’t serve our highest good. We are magnificent! We are fabulous! And we are awesome just the way we are! (Please tell that to me the next time I go out without make-up, no bra with my cupcakes down below my belly, and in rags. Grin.)

We go, women!

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Horse and Baby Deer

2009-10-07T13:23:00.001-05:00

A dear friend just sent me this picture. Now if only we humans can learn from our animal brothers and sisters and get along regardless of our differences.

"Spiritual Warriors"

2009-09-05T15:40:00.005-05:00

I just watched a wonderful new, spiritual movie called "Spiritual Warriors." It's along the lines of "The Way of the Peaceful Warrior," "The Celestine Prophecy," "The Code," etc. If you are on your own spiritual journey and are looking for answers, this is the movie for you. It's set it in modern day times, but also takes you back in time to show how the characters evolved to where they are today. I won't give it away by telling you what it's about, but I would highly recommend seeing it. You may see yourself in the characters, you may learn something along the way, and you may have what I call a wisdom moment. Please check out this new movie. Their website is at http://www.spiritualwarriors.com/.

Richard Simmons on Whose Line Is It Anyway

2009-08-21T18:10:00.002-05:00

The Tao of Love and Appreciation

2009-08-18T16:17:00.004-05:00

If there is one thing that all human beings have in common, that is the overwhelming desire to feel loved and appreciated. But how many of us do? How many of us go through life looking for someone to really love them and appreciate them as they are. How many of us go through life wanting our very existence acknowledged in some way or some form? I believe this is engrained in each and every one of us from before birth.

Before we came to this earthly existence, we knew what it was like to feel loved and appreciated. Unconditionally. A love and appreciation so pure and magnificent that we spend the rest of our lives on earth searching for that very feeling of love and appreciation. The problem is, as human beings, we always somehow fall short. We have a faint remembrance of that feeling, and we search for it in our earthly embodiments, but it seems like it’s always like the brass ring. No matter how close we get to reaching out and grabbing it, we always miss it. In fact, that’s exactly what we do. We miss it. We miss that feeling. Therefore, we are always in search to have that feeling once again.

So, how can we come close in having those glorious and wonderful feelings of love and appreciation again? I believe that it is by making others feel loved and appreciated. For it is when we do this for others, then we ourselves will come close to having that brass ring once more.

There really is an art to love and appreciation, and it’s actually quite simple. Tell people you love them. Tell people you appreciate them. Tell them that because they are in your life, your life is so much better, that they bless you for just being here. When was the last time you had anyone tell you such wonderful words of bliss? When was the last time you told anyone these words of poetry that makes the heart sing?

Why is it that three of the shortest words in the English language are also three of the most difficult for human beings to utter? “I love you.” How often do you tell your spouse, your mate, your children, your parents, your friends? You may think that they know that you love them, so you don’t have to say it. But they need to hear it. Just knowing isn’t enough.

How often do we as children go through our whole lives waiting for our parents to tell us they love us and that they are proud of us? Some people go through their whole lives waiting to hear these words, even after the death of that very parent.

When we speak to others, do we speak to build them up or tear them down? Do we speak words of love and kindness, or do we cut down with words of anger, hate, and just plain old meanness? I know people who are known to treat people like dirt, and they’ve treated me the same. Know this…. When you are unkind to people with your words, it is not a reflection on the person who is being spoken to, but it reflects on the person speaking the words. I don’t know about you, but I literally avoid these people.

Another way to make people feel appreciated is to say the words “please” and “thank you.” Don’t tell, ask. Say please. And when someone does something, say “thank you.” You’d be surprised how far just saying these two words can take you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a parent, child, relative, boss, or friend. Common courtesy goes a long way. I remember when I was doing the hiring at one of the companies I worked for, I don’t know how many times someone we were interviewing would say that they would take a “thank you” or “job well done” over a raise! Bosses, if you want good employees, make sure they know you appreciate them. Parents, you want kids to appreciate you? Appreciate them.

You may not get a response when you start practicing the art of love and appreciation. I realize we shouldn’t extend words and acts of kindness looking for anything in return, but it sure is nice. If you want people to say thank you to you, then say thank you to others. When you start saying “I love you,” you may not get one in return. Too many people don’t know how to say these words, so don’t take it personally. I’ve actually won people over by saying these three important words, and eventually, they would respond in kind. This life is short for we human beings. We never know when we may have another chance.

So, how do we change the world? One person at a time. I love you. I appreciate you. It really is that simple.

The Collective Consciousness for Love and Peace

2009-08-03T12:42:00.001-05:00

A lot sure is going on in the world right now! There is a lot of harmony among people, but there is also a lot of discord. What bothers me is that there is particularly a lot of conflict among our religious and political organizations, when it is these very organizations, which should be working toward the greater good of all as a whole!

Our religions should be teaching love, peace, harmony, and well-being, but there are so many who are teaching anything but! How can we tolerate hate and selfishness in these arenas when this is the time when we should be working towards exactly what Jesus and all the other great spiritual teachers taught: unconditional love for all! It seems that there are so many egos involved where people want to rule with their own personal belief systems and their own interpretations of what their Bibles teach to the exclusion of all others. And then we wonder why so many are being turned off to traditional religious organizations.

It especially bothers me when I hear some religious leaders speak such hate-filled talk toward all others who do not believe the way they do. Whenever anyone speaks hate talk toward anyone or anything, they are NOT speaking for God. They are speaking for their own selfish agendas. As long as they are speaking of our differences rather than what we have in common and how we can come together in that love, peace, and harmony, they are not speaking for God.

It’s worse in our political arenas. It seems like various parties will work against the other parties for the sole purpose of working against the other parties and all else be damned. They will also bring in their own religious views based on their own personal agendas, and again, so many speak hate talk. They call themselves conservative Christians, but their words speak otherwise. There are political talk show hosts who are very intolerant of those who believe differently, and I can’t even listen to them because the negativity that they are spewing forth is intolerable to me. I can feel it coming right out of the airwaves and it makes my soul cringe.

Obviously, there are many exceptions to both of the above where there are people working towards the greater good for all and do speak and teach love. They just tend to get drowned out by the hate-filled others. Our media doesn’t help either because they only print the negative.

It’s so easy to complain and find fault with others, but how often do you hear anyone talking about how we CAN work together. Mother Theresa was once asked to join an anti-war rally and her reply was no, but if they have a pro-peace rally, she would be there. Personally, I want to hear those who are talking pro-peace, pro-harmony, and pro-love, whether it is in our political or religious organizations.

I don’t want to hear how we can’t do something. Tell me how we CAN. Tell me how we CAN work towards peace. Tell me how we CAN get people back to work. Tell me how we CAN get insurance for all. Tell me how we CAN, as Americans, work together for the common good of all. Tell me how we CAN lower our crime rates. (Note: This is no reflection on President Obama. I know he’s trying, but he has a great challenge ahead of him.) Tell me how we CAN end abuse towards humans and animals alike. Tell me how we CAN have a healthy environment. Tell me how we CAN love and accept all people regardless of their color, race, religion, or walk of life.

When are we going to get it? We are on this earth together with no other place to go. This is it. I look forward to the day when the pro-love, pro-peace, and pro-harmony organizations out-number the anti-everything organizations. We’re out there. We have a voice. Our numbers are growing. We are the serum that is going to heal this hateful virus that has consumed our political and religions organizations (and it’s really not just these two organizations). Hopefully, I’ll see it in my lifetime. It’s coming.

We have the choice. Do we join the collective consciousness for love and peace? Or do we join the collective consciousness for hate and intolerance? Do we find solutions to our challenges, or to we just sit back and continue to complain and spew forth the hate-filled energy?

Love can heal. Love can change even the most hardened hearts. Love can rule the world. Unconditional love and acceptance of all. It’s ours if we just claim it and work towards the greater good of all. Let’s get into possibility thinking mode. Think love. Think peace. Think harmony. It starts with the wo/man in the mirror. And so it is.

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I Don't Know. I Wasn't There

2009-07-16T18:31:00.003-05:00

There are many people who struggle with the most awful life issues: drug addiction, alcoholism, abuse, mental illness, and the like. It’s so easy for us to sit in judgment. We don’t know why someone has turned to drugs or alcoholism, why they abuse or are abused, or what caused them to be mentally unbalanced. I say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

We even sit in judgment of our government officials, particularly President Obama. You hear criticism from all sides about what he’s doing or not doing, and how he comes to his decisions. I would think that he would have the best possible team from all sides to assist him in his final decisions. There is always a bigger picture of what is happening or not happening in our government. I say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

I read a lot of celebrity autobiographies, and what people need to remember is that autobiographies are written from that person’s particular perception, based on their beliefs, experiences, upbringing, and their attitude toward life. Some of the first autobiographical books I read many years ago were Shirley MacLaine’s books. (I give her credit for starting me on my spiritual journey. She’s the one who taught me to keep an open mind in ALL things.) Now, if you have ever read any of her books, you know she writes about some things that are beyond the normal person’s experiences. I could sit here and say she’s nuts, and things like that could never have happened. But I choose to say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

This can be applied to any person or any circumstance. Rather than sitting in judgment and condemning someone for something we know nothing about, why don’t we instead sit back and say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

Let’s learn to have more compassion and love for people regardless of how they lived their lives. We do not know what brought them to their current circumstances or why they lived their lives the way they did. We don’t know why they made the choices they made. There is always a bigger picture. Always. Regardless of the person or situation.

So, I say, “I don’t know. I wasn’t there.”

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Accepting Your Good

2009-06-26T18:46:00.004-05:00

Today I had an interesting experience. I had gone into town and I saw a small pick-up truck stalled on a busy road near a busy intersection. People were flying around the truck, and some were taking chances cutting into traffic to get around it. I pulled into the parking lot where I was going to shop and decided to go over to see if there was anything I could do. I found two elder ladies who were trying to get it started to no avail. (It was very hot and humid, too!)

Thinking that I had to do SOMEthing, I decided that I would try to push the truck into the next drive…by myself. It wasn’t too far ahead, so how hard could it be? The problem was that it was up a slight grade. Now, I’m middle age and was always a farm girl, but I am no spring chicken either. I got behind the truck and tried pushing. It only budged a few inches. I’m pushing with all my might, thinking, “Surely a man is going to come to our rescue any moment now….yep, at least ONE man is going to come and help…any time now….” People kept driving by.

FINALLY, a man came and both of us started pushing. We were pushing so hard that we were almost parallel to the ground. And again I’m thinking…”Surely another man will come help….yep….ANY time now…..” (I say man, but another woman would have been fine, too.) Then another little pick-up truck drove up behind us and the man said that he would try to push it into the parking lot with his truck. The three of us were finally able to get the truck off the road where the women would be safe. (If I didn’t lose at least an eighth of a pound doing that, I’m going to just spit! That whooped me out! Grin.)

Afterwards, I was feeling pretty good about being able to help someone. Then it happened. I started to feel guilty for feeling good about helping. Thoughts ran through my head that my ego was the one who was feeling good because when we do good acts, we shouldn’t feel good for doing good, should we? My Spirit within started to set me straight. “What do you mean that you can’t feel good for doing good? That’s why you do good. It makes you feel good! So feel good and stop feeling guilty!” (Gotta listen to that inner voice; she always knows what she’s talking about.)

How many of us sabotage ourselves of feeling good just because for whatever reasons, we feel, consciously or subconsciously, that something is wrong with feeling good? Ladies, you should know exactly what I’m talking about. What happens when someone pays us a compliment, say, for the outfit we have on? What do we usually say? “This old thing? Why it’s been in my closet for years!” We dis the compliment. (When it comes to compliments, I learned to “just say thank you and then shut up.”)

Why do we do good deeds in the first place? Because it makes us feel good to do so. Otherwise, we probably wouldn’t be doing them. So, it is perfectly okay for us to feel good for doing good! Give yourself some credit for being someone who was willing to help another in need. Look at all those who didn’t.

We need to be able to accept our good whenever and wherever it comes. The Universe has an unlimited supply of good to give to us. All we need to do is accept it wherever it comes from. If we are constantly dissing it, we will miss out on so much good that is ours to have because we will not always recognize it when it comes.

My purpose in life is to be of service to humanity and to do good whenever and wherever I can. And it’s perfectly okay for me to feel good about it. So the next time you do some good for someone, feel good about it, and treat yourself to a little extra joy and happiness. We deserve it!

Beautiful Rainbow Next Door

2009-06-23T13:27:00.002-05:00

Several weeks ago, we had a nice rain, which produced this magnificent rainbow that we could see right out our front door. We could see both ends. Wonder if there was a pot of gold at one of the ends? Hmmm. Of course, a picture can never do a rainbow justice, but this is close.
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Animals Are People, Too!

2009-06-22T13:13:00.003-05:00

In a previous posting, I wrote an article entitled “One Love, One Heart, One World,” which explained my beliefs about how we are all connected. I would like to continue this series by writing about my beliefs as to how we are connected to animals.

Back in the mid-80s, I was driving to work on the back roads one morning, when I deer jumped out from the side of the road and hit the front of my car. I never saw her coming. I immediately flew out of my car and ran over to her in the ditch where she lay dying. Kneeling over her side, I petted her and bawled like I haven’t bawled in a long time. All of a sudden, she turned her head over her back to look me straight in the eyes, and I heard her say just as if she were verbally speaking to me, “It’s okay. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I forgive you.” I cried for several weeks straight over her death. I would rather have totaled my car than to have taken her life.

Ever since I was a young child, we have had pets of some sort or another: dogs, cats, gerbils, fish, rabbits, and horses. I have always loved animals. I always felt a connection with animals, but it wasn’t at a soul level.

As the years wore on, I began to become more and more attached to animals almost on a cosmic level. I became very sensitive to their feelings; and yes, animals have feelings. To this day, it really bothers me to see a dead animal because I can sense the pain and fear that they felt the moment they died.

In 1995, I saw a wonderful movie called “Powder.” It was about a sixteen year old Albino boy who was called “Powder” because of his flour white skin. Up until this time, he had been living in his grandparent’s cellar, but after they died, he was taken to live in a small Texas town where a pair of educators learned that he could control electricity and had an IQ that Einstein would envy. While on a hunting expedition with the town Deputy and other boys, he had gotten separated from the group, as he had no interest in killing any animal. All of a sudden, he hears a shot and goes running towards the direction of the sound. There he finds that the Deputy had shot a deer and he and the other boys were standing around admiring their ‘kill.’ Powder grabs the Deputy’s arm, and then lays his other hand on the deer’s stomach. The Deputy was able to feel everything the deer was feeling as she lay dying: the fear, pain, and confusion. It so impacted the Deputy that he put away his guns and swore that he would never kill another living thing again. You can only imagine how hard I cried when I saw this scene.

You see, I totally and sincerely believe that animals have souls. I also believe that they feel everything we feel; only they are not able to process those feelings. An animal feels happiness, sadness, pain, fear, depression, loneliness and any other host of emotions. There is even evidence that fish feel pain.

My belief is that animals are just like humans, the same beings, but we just look different. After hitting the deer, I became a vegetarian (working on vegan). I love animals too much to justify eating them, and to me, eating them is like being a cannibal.

Usually if I speak to someone about my being vegetarian and my love of animals (and only if they bring it up), I almost always get the argument that God put animals on the Earth for us to eat. They can even come up with Bible verses. The thing is, there are just as many verses that prove that we are not supposed to eat animals. For every argument someone has for eating animals (health or otherwise), there are just as many arguments as to why we shouldn’t eat them.

As a spiritual being, I totally believe that we are all one. There are many religions, which teach that we should not eat animals because we should respect and revere all life. I could go on into the health reasons for not eating animals, but that is not the purpose of this writing. I am also not telling anyone that they should believe the way I do, nor will I argue. If I had my way, no animal would be killed for any reason and we would find a way to live with all beings. But this is a personal issue and a belief system, and I in no way will try to force my beliefs on anyone, no matter how passionate I feel about the issue.

My only wish is that people would examine their hearts and souls and decide if it is really worth killing such beautiful creatures. If we can see God in people, why not animals?

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One Love, One Heart, One World

2009-06-05T19:48:00.001-05:00

Bob Marley, considered the first superstar from Jamaica, a Third World country, was one of the most charismatic and influencial performers of his time. One of my favorite songs of his is “One Love, One Heart,” with the next line being, “let’s get together and feel all right.” How profound his words are in today’s day and time. The nations of our world, and it’s people, are struggling to find a common ground. Where do we all fit into the Universe’s grand scheme of things?

As I wrote in a previous blog, I truly believe that we are in the midst of a spectacular awakening. Part of that awakening is coming to the realization that we really do need to find ways to live in peace and harmony with each other regardless of color, race, nationality, religion, sexual preference, or walk of life. One of the greatest things I love about our world is the diversity! We are all on this planet together, with no other place to go, so why can’t we all just get along? That’s probably one of the greatest questions of mankind.

My first real encounter with a different race (other than in general) was when I lived on an Indian reservation in British Columbia. I had seen the movie “Billy Jack” and fell in love with the Indian people. It was actually through a student missionary program through our church. But when I got up there and went through a week of training, I was shocked to see the various religions fighting over who would “save” the “savages!” Fortunately, I had the frame of mind at the time not to buy into it and decided that I was just going to love and accept them as they were. Therefore, I made some life-long friendships that I hold dear to this day. Consequently, the staff psychologist said that I was the only student who did not experience any culture shock.

One year, I went up to visit, and one of my friends and I went to a PowWow. It wasn’t until the end of the PowWow, and after the friendship dance where everyone dances in a circle, when I noticed that I was the only white person there. I mentioned this to my friend, and she paid me one of the greatest and most cherished compliments I have every received. She said, “Karen, when you’re up here, we don’t even consider you as being white.” I may not have been Indian in my blood, but I was Indian in my heart.

A few years later, I moved to Los Angeles from a small town in Ohio, and I really had quite an awakening as to just how diverse our world is. Los Angeles is filled with people from all areas of diversity; every color, religion, nationality, and walk of life. Three experiences stand out in my mind, which I would like to share with you.

First, even though I wasn’t bigoted, I could be a pretty judgemental cookie at times. My religious beliefs were very black and white, and if people didn’t believe the way I did, I believed they were going to hell. What was ironic was that before I moved to L.A., I was told by several people, including my minister, that I was going to go to hell just for going to L.A. and for wanting to pursue an acting career! I could handle color diversity, as I always considered myself color-blind when it came to people. It was the rest of it that I judged.

My first big awakening came when I went to a Hungarian dance with a friend. When we got there, there was a very tall person on the dance floor. I didn’t know if he was a cross dresser (a man dressed like a woman) or a transsexual (having the operation). I had never met anyone like this before, and at the time, nor was I going to meet him/her. I remember commenting to my friend, "That thing isn't even human!" It totally disgusted me.

Not long afterwards, I had gone into a Christian bookstore on Hollywood Boulevard and, to my surprise, the clerk was another transsexual. He had been a man, became a woman, was "saved," and was in the process of becoming a man again. He looked like a man, but still needed to have the operations. While I was there, an acquaintance from church arrived bringing another transsexual with him. He had been a man, became a woman, became "saved," and was going to become a man again (though he still looked like a woman). Before I left, my acquaintance suggested we all hold hands in a circle and pray together. (We were the only ones in the bookstore.) Here I am standing in a circle, holding hands with a transsexual on both sides of me, praying, and trying not to freak out. It was during the prayer that a voice spoke very clearly in my mind, "See, Karen, these are my children, and I love them just as much as any of my children." Oh. It didn't really change my mind right then and there, but it started to melt my heart, even if just so slightly.

The third experience was when I was walking back to work from lunch (still in L.A.). A woman stopped me on a corner and asked if I knew if the police were down the street. It dawned on me (and shocked me) that I was speaking to a prostitute. I became flustered and didn’t know what to say to her. I had never spoken to a woman of the evening before. When I got back to work, I told my co-workers about it, and one replied, “Karen, she’s a person like anyone else.” Oh. Again, it didn’t sink in then and there, but it further began melting my heart.

While in L.A., I met and became friends with a wide diversity of people. All colors, nationalities, religions, and walks of life. I was still pretty judgmental, but I was learning. That’s one thing I miss about living in a big city is the diversity.

As the years came and went, I met many more people who added to my diversity experience. I met and became friends with gays and found that they are some of the most kindest, loving people. I have a very dear friend who is a practicing Muslim. I am also friends with many Eastern Indians and many more. I cherish all those relationships.

One thing that I am learning is that we really are all one. If you take the most powerful microscope and put a tiny piece of each of us under the lens, you would find that we are all made of the very exact same thing. Under that microscope, you don’t see color, nationality, sexual preference, religion, or walks of life. You see life energy. An energy of pure, unconditional, perfect love.

Hate is taught. It is a learned behavior. And when we don’t know any better, we buy into it for whatever reasons. The wonderful thing, though, is that we can turn that hate around and learn to love. As in another previous blog that I wrote, hate is a thought and you can change your thoughts.

My life is so much more enriched and blessed because I have learned to embrace diversity. I wish I had more contact with it than I do now. I feel so much love for all people. (I do have a major issue with tailgaters, though. Grin.) I still have my moments where I will go into judgmental mode, but fortunately, it’s not a hate mode, and my inner spirit will quickly talk me out of it.

I would really like to invite everyone to learn to love all people…all living beings regardless of our differences. Rather than focus on differences, let’s focus on what we have in common, whether it’s in our personal lives, our work lives, as a nation, or as a world. Of course, there will be those who are happy hating and feel justified in doing so, and no matter what you say, you will not change their minds. That’s fine and has nothing to do with anyone else. It’s what we do as individuals that count. As more and more people join the collective consciousness of pure, unconditional perfect love, we can change the world! Unity (the church I attend) sings a song after every service that says, “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.” And as Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”

Namaste’

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Thought Travel

2009-05-27T14:53:00.002-05:00

Thoughts have power. Our lives are ruled by our thoughts. We are what we think. Our thoughts become us.

Countless books have been written about the power of our thoughts, and I have probably read a good many of them. For some time now, I have been doing a lot of thinking and reading about our thoughts and how to control those thoughts. Recently, I have had an epiphany, an ah-ha moment, about thoughts, how our thoughts really do affect us, and how they control our lives.

Every choice, every decision, and everything we do and say is based upon past experiences. We are a product of our upbringing, our environment, our beliefs, and those experiences we have had in the past. All these color our current day perspectives. Our perspectives, or the way we look at our lives and our world, become our present moment reality.

Everything that we experienced in our past, from the moment you read this word, back until the time you were born, is no longer an experience, but a memory, or a thought. It is no longer your reality. Your memories are now only thoughts.

Let’s look forward into your future. For the majority of us, we have no idea what is going to happen from this moment forward. We may have plans and ideas of what will happen, but even those are just thoughts. They are yet to be your reality. Many of us fantasize about things happening to us in our future. My fantasy is to travel all over the world, meet people, and have a great and exciting life. I can conjure up wonderful stories in my mind. Go on exciting adventures with really neat people. Write books. Be a successful motivational speaker. The sky’s the limit. But again…until they happen, they are just thoughts.

Now, let’s compare the thoughts from your past to the thoughts of your future. Is there any difference between the two? You might say, “Of course there is. The thoughts from the past actually happened.” But did they? Stay with me here. Your perspective of what actually happened colors all your thoughts from your past. Someone else, who may have been in on the same experience with you, may have had a different perspective of that experience resulting in different current day thoughts. Whose thoughts contain the actual reality of what in fact really happened? Or are they just thoughts?

If memories are just thoughts, can we go back and change those thoughts to have a different outcome? Many of us wish we could go back and change the outcome of various experiences. Well, why not? They’re just thoughts. We can re-write the script and have any outcome we desire. We can change bad experiences into good experiences. Change the memory; change the thought.

Is it easy? It depends on how traumatic the experience was and how attached you are to the trauma attached to the memory…or thoughts. Let me give you an example. At one time, I thought this process should be very simple. I had read about various processes one could use to do so, and thought that anyone should be able to do so with ease. Until I met Chip (real name changed for privacy). Chip came into work one day with a bandage on his head. Apparently, he was driving home one day and came upon a car sitting on the side of the road with a body lying near by. Being an EMT (emergency responder), he instinctively stopped his truck and started over to help. All of a sudden, the man in the road got up and started shooting at him, grazing his temple and knocking him out. I cannot remember the rest of the details of the incident, but I do know that this severely impacted him emotionally. Since that time and for several years afterwards, he found that he was unable to get hardly any sleep at night.

In my ignorant wisdom, I would try suggesting to him that he try these processes. I couldn’t understand how or why he couldn’t just get past this. Until I had an unfortunate experience with a road rager. The man almost ran me off the road (I wasn’t going fast enough for him even though I was going the speed limit), and then he stopped his truck in front of me, got out, and started yelling at me. I was smart enough to lay on my horn to attract attention and he left. The problem is that he lived right up the road from me. A State Highway Patrolman we knew said this man was a hothead and to just stay out of his way. From that moment on, every time I saw his truck, I would have a panic attack. I lived in literal fear for the next few weeks. Fortunately, I was getting ready to buy a new car, and once I got the new car, some of the fear subsided, though I would still have a mild panic attack whenever I saw his truck. Now it was time to try my own advice and change the memory so that I could change the thought. Ha! Didn’t work for me either. At the time.

Then I had this ah-ha moment about memories only being thoughts, and that there is no difference between our thoughts of the past and our thoughts of the future. They are all just that….thoughts. They all have the same energy. The only time we place a different energy to them is when we add our emotions to those thoughts. Nothing has meaning except for the meaning that you give to it. Change the meaning, change the thought.

Since I came to the realization that the past is only thoughts, I have been able to release my emotional attachment to those thoughts. Thoughts that kept me in chains no longer have as much, if any, power over me. I can let them go because I now know that they are just my fantasies of the past. They no longer have the power over me that they once had. I can be the observer rather than the player.

One idea to help make the transition from experience to thought is to see everything that happened to you in the past on a TV screen. See it as just a TV show or a movie. If you don’t like what’s playing, turn the TV off. See the screen go blank. Realize that it wasn’t real. You can write the script for next week’s show and have a different outcome.

I do realize that this isn’t easy for those of us who have had very traumatic experiences. Those traumatic experiences become our identity and our story. So start small. Take baby steps. You may not understand all of what I’m writing about right away. Goodness, even I didn’t get it at first and I’m the one who thought it up.

I also realize that there are those who have severe emotional issues (to the point of being medically diagnosed) who have no conscious choice of their thoughts. As I stated earlier, all of our choices and decisions are based on past experiences, conscious or unconscious. When I had my breakdown and suffered from severe depression, for the next couple of years, it was extremely difficult to change my stinkin’ thinkin’. Fortunately, I had already learned about the power of our thoughts and I was able to consciously begin the process of changing those thoughts to a more positive energy, and therefore, heal a lot quicker than the average person. I even amazed my therapist.

Life is all about thoughts. We can consciously control those thoughts. It takes practice. So, when you mind travel in the past or the future, know that you are traveling in a vast universe of thought energy. All one energy. Work towards making those thoughts to be thoughts of love, peace, harmony, happiness, and well-being.

Namaste’

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Swine Flu or Wake-Up Call?

2009-05-05T15:35:00.003-05:00

In these challenging times, we are now dealing with an illness that is causing fear the world over. The Swine Flu, or H1N1, has been on everyone’s minds over the past several weeks. How do we deal with this fear and the illness on a spiritual level? Marianne Williamson stated, “This flu wasn't created on the level of the body, because no disease is. It was created on the level of the mind, and it is there that we will root it out at the causal level.”

I would like to invite us to keep things in perspective. As of May 5, 2009, twenty-one countries have officially reported 1,124 cases of the influenza A(H1N1) infection, and only twenty-six deaths in the ENTIRE world from this illness. Compare this to the world’s population. As of May 2009, the Earth's population is estimated to be about 6.77 billion.

The United States has had 286 confirmed cases, and one death, BUT no deaths from U.S. On April 29, CNN reported the first swine fatality in the United States; however, this was actually a toddler whose family had recently crossed from Mexico into Texas. As of July 2008, the United States’ population was listed at 304,059,724.

To also help you keep things in perspective, malaria kills 3,000 people EVERY DAY. There are 2.8 million deaths yearly from AIDS worldwide; 300,000 deaths yearly in the U.S. alone from obesity; in 2008 there were 37,313 fatalities in motor vehicle traffic crashes. 2005 statistics stated that there were 30,000 suicides; 652,091 people died of heart disease; tobacco smoking killed 467,000, high blood pressure killed 395,000, and physical inactivity was linked to about 191,000 deaths… Need I say more?

By definition, a "pandemic" is an epidemic that is geographically widespread. Fear-mongers always threaten that millions of people could and probably will die. And that’s all it is…fear. Look at the statistics above. Does that mean we shouldn’t be concerned? Concerned, yes. Fearful, no. Like any other flu, if you take the necessary precautions, your chances of getting it would be slim. We need to focus on health; not sickness. What we fear, we will attract.

While researching information on the H1N1 flu, I found a website that said the following:

“Just step outside of the drama and become an observer, stay in alignment with your higher self and trust that you are protected, keep your light strong. Make sure you eat healthy, meditate, always think positive things, go out into nature and appreciate all that is good with the world. It may be true that negative individuals introduced the virus into the world, but it will be stopped in its tracks as long as we don't give it the power it needs to manifest. We are so much more powerful that most of us recognize. Just remember, there is only ONE. It's just a question of perspective; the illusion at this level is so much stronger and easier to buy into. The higher we place our focus, the more we realize we are truly ONE. We have to remember we are also the virus and the negative magician hoping to manifest it. God is in everything; we are simply within the mind of God. If we think like God and place our awareness on that plane, then you will see that all is just drama in order to experience the many facets of self. We can choose our life to be exactly how we want it to be. When we go home to other side (which is a much lesser illusion), we will realize just how much power we had and didn't use. Don't make that mistake, use these tools now.” http://lightworkers.org/wisdom/ian-jones/74849/swine-flu-dont-give-it-any-power-fellow-magician

Like any other catastrophic event, I believe that this is a wake-up call. It’s a part of the shift and cleansing that is occurring in our world at this time. When I see so many around me suffering the most awful health issues, it’s really making me focus on getting my own health straightened out. I’m eating healthier, getting more sun, exercising, and working on my stinkin’ thinkin’, as well as working to strengthen my spiritual beliefs.

To protect yourself from the flu, get plenty of fresh air and sunshine, eat healthy foods and eat less (I know, that’s a biggie for most people), stay away from people who are sick, wash your hands and/or use hand sanitizer (without the antibacterial in it), sneeze or cough into your elbow (not your hand), do not touch your hands to your face when they are not clean, and most of all, do NOT let fear rule! Fear is being perpetuated by the media and those who have an invested interest in any illness. In any fearful pandemic, the pharmaceutical and medical industries are the real winners.

If you would get sick, don't panic. It may NOT be the swine flu. Stay home if you can (for some companies, it's almost against the law to take sick days), get plenty of rest, drink fluids, and if possible, fast, or at least, cut way back on your food intake. Let your body's energy take care of getting you better and not have to focus on digesting food. When animals and children are sick, they go off their food, and they sleep a lot. They listen to their bodies.

Do your research about the flu with curiosity and detachment; not fear. Also research the pros and cons of vaccines that may be coming out. The Mercola website stated that more people died from the vaccine than they did the flu in the last flu epidemic. On top of that, they make these drugs and distribute them so fast, that there is no time to check out the results of side effects. Make spiritual choices, and not choices from the state of fear. Let's not let this divide us any more as we already are. Let’s support each other in good health and good thoughts. We deserve it and it is our Divine right!

For a good website on the H1N1 flu, please go to: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2009/04/28/Swine-Flu.aspx

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Life Changing Thinking

2009-05-02T15:41:00.004-05:00

Several years ago, I came upon a book that had a very profound influence on my thinking. The book was “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz. The book came to me through serendipity, which made it that much more meaningful. I was reading an “Oprah” magazine and there was an article about Ellen Degeneres and how the book and Mr. Ruiz impacted her life. The next day, I received one of my book club pamphlets and it was advertising a sale on the book. Bingo! I bought the book and haven’t looked back.

In the book, Mister Ruiz teaches us four principles to practice in order to create love and happiness in your life. He states that adopting and committing to these agreements is simple, but actually living and keeping the them can be one of the hardest things you will ever do. But if you apply the Agreements to your life, it can also be one of he most life changing things you will ever do. And so it was for me.

I would like to state those Four Agreements here and will give a commentary on what that particular agreement meant to me and did for me. They are as follows:

1. “Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.”

Words have power. And, as I’ve discovered, the words you speak tell a lot about your character. I still have issues about saying only what I mean, sometimes, because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I do know that I have come to despise gossip. Gossip is when someone says something negative about someone or bad mouths them. When someone gossips, it says way more about the person doing the gossiping than the person they are gossiping about. According to Mr. Ruiz, gossip is literally poison, and I agree. I’ve known people who can’t say a good word about anyone or anything. What I’ve found is that these people hate themselves so much, and have such low self-esteem, that the only way they can make themselves feel any better is to put someone else down. What you need to know, is that a lot of times, when you gossip, what you said will get back to the person you are gossiping about. Gossiping is just another form of bullying. Can gossip be good when you’re saying something good about someone? Maybe. My rule is that if that person wants others to know about something, they will be the ones to tell people, therefore, I keep my mouth shut. Am I perfect in not gossiping? I have to admit there are times that someone gets to ruffling my goat’s feathers so much that I just end up venting to a friend, but even then, I know that I’m better off keeping silent. This also goes towards the words we speak towards ourselves. It goes back to the saying that you become what you think.

2. “Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

This one was a big lesson for me. I used to take EVERYthing personally. Someone would look at me cross-eyed, and I would take it personally. Sometimes I can get very frustrated with human nonsense, especially if it were directed towards me. Once I learned this lesson, I knew that nothing anyone does or says is about me; it’s all about them. What they say or do still might sting, but I can usually talk my way through it. People say and do what they say and do based on their own belief systems and their past experiences.

3. “Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

This was another biggie for me. To give you example… On my last job, there were a couple of people who would sometimes completely ignore me. I would be passing them in the hall, and they wouldn’t return my greeting or my smile. I used to get in a snit, but after learning this one, I knew there was a bigger picture. Maybe they had something else on their mind and didn’t really think about acknowledging me or maybe they didn’t even notice me. Maybe they were shy, or intimidated by me. As in the second Agreement, it had nothing to do with me (even if it did). It was their choice to respond the way they did regardless of the reasons. I’m only responsible for my own thoughts and actions. Plus, in order to be in an important relationship, you have got to be brutally honest with the other person, though you can be kind at the same time. Just be totally honest.

4. “Always Do Your Best: Doing your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

That’s all you can do. The best you can with what you know at the time. If you realize that all anyone can do is the best they can, then it helps to take the judgment out of it. We don’t know why anyone says or does the things they do. As I said earlier, there is always a bigger picture. All decisions people make are based on their up-bringing, their beliefs, and their experiences. Many times, there are things in our subconscious minds and we don’t have a clue why we make the choices we do. But they are still choices and we need to be accountable for the consequences of those choices. So, lighten up on yourself, and realize that you’re doing the best you can with what you know at the time. The only mistakes are when you don’t learn from them. Otherwise, they are just lessons.

If you’re interested in learning more, please read the book “The Four Agreements” by don Miguel Ruiz. Or, go to his website at: http://www.miguelruiz.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=6:the-four-agreements&catid=13:books&Itemid=7

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What a Person Believes...Is

2009-04-21T13:05:00.004-05:00

In 1969, a new TV show hit the airwaves called “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” starring Bill Bixby as the father and Brandon Cruz as the son. I don’t remember the details of one particular show, but Bill Bixby’s character made a statement to his son that I have always remembered. He said, “What a person believes….is.” The magnitude of that statement didn’t really hit me until many years later when I began my spiritual journey and became an open-minded believer in all things.

It is so true. It does not matter what a person believes, to him/her it is their truth. Many people see only in black and white and whatever they believe is the only way. Everyone else is wrong. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, whether you’re Democrat, Republican, or Independent, where you live, how you live, or your walk of life. You believe what you believe for whatever reasons (usually based on your upbringing, your experiences, etc.), and that’s all most people need. Everyone who does not believe the way they do is either right or wrong, or good or bad.

In other words, everything we know is just that….a belief. I can already hear people disagreeing, but please stay with me. Let’s take a look at religions. There are thousands of different religions, all believing something different to varying degrees. The believers of those religions believe that their religion is the only religion. Who’s right and who’s wrong? Everyone believes that they are the ones who are right and that everyone else is wrong. This can also be applied to abortion, the death penalty, diets, medical practices, and so much more. Whatever you believe about that particular subject is just that….your belief.

Many years ago, I attended a Native American Sweat Lodge (you sit inside a dome that contains extremely high heat and sweat; it’s very spiritual). Afterwards, I was talking to the Ceremonial Singer and he made the statement, “There is no such thing as right or wrong.” I replied, “Of course there’s such a thing as right or wrong! Killing is wrong.” He countered, “What happens if that person had to kill to save himself, or a family member, or those at war?” We batted back and forth, but he continued to counter back. It took me a good two weeks of constantly pondering that statement before the light bulb went off over my head and I got it.

Some people will argue that they have facts to back up their beliefs. And I can guarantee you that there will be someone else who has facts to back up the exact opposite beliefs. That is one reason I take the title “expert” very lightly. For every expert on one subject, you will find another expert who can prove the exact opposite of the first expert.

Remember, we used to believe that the earth was flat and that the sun revolved around the earth. People were put in prison or killed because of those beliefs. Women were burned at the stake if they used herbs for healing. Certain cultures were believed to be sub-human (including women) and genocide occurred to get rid of them (this continues in some countries today). All our beliefs to some degree have changed over the years. We were sure that those beliefs were actual facts.

So, just because someone believes something different than you does not mean that they are right or wrong. It’s just what they believe at this time in their life. I always tell people that I refuse to argue religion, politics, or opinion. Grin. If people want to share and discuss their beliefs, I can discuss with the best of them; but I will not argue and try to make me right and them wrong.

Once you keep an open mind in all things, it is so much easier to find the good in everything and everyone. It comes back to labeling (see previous posting). It becomes much easier to love and accept someone for what and who they are. You stop putting conditions on your love.

One more example that may hit home with many people… Every generation has their way of expressing themselves. When I was in school, we wore mini-skirts (just below the butt), bell-bottoms, hip-huggers, and were just coming out of the tie-die / hippie era. Before me, it was hoop skirts, saddle shoes, leather jackets, and slicked back hair. Elvis was shocking parents all over the world. Today’s generation seems to have gone to the extreme (at least to us older generations). Goth, body piercings, hair that sticks straight up and colored in a rainbow of colors, tattoos, music that is just loud noise… It’s hard to except today’s generation’s expressions because they are so extreme to previous generations. But we need to remember that they are doing the same thing we did when we were growing up.

I would really like to encourage everyone to open your mind to love. Unconditional love. Embrace the diversity that is in our world. We are all the same but different. Allow people to believe whatever they want to believe and respect their right to believe whatever that want to believe (unless they are hurting someone; then they still need to be held accountable). If we could just accept those who believe differently, just think how much better we could get along as a people, a nation, and as a world.

I would like to close with a quote I came up with several years ago. “Life is beautiful, life is good, life is what you believe it to be.”

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I Am Not a Label

2009-04-08T13:31:00.004-05:00

My name is Karen. Label. I am female. Label. I am blonde. Label. I am white. Label. Black. Label. Mexican. Label. Democrat, Republican, Christian, Muslim, good, bad, right, wrong, tree, sky, house, dog, desk, chair….. Label, label, label, label….well, you get my drift.

Just about everything in existence on the planet earth and beyond is given a label by humans. Call it a name, label, whatever. And for every label, we attach a meaning. The thing is, nothing has meaning except for the meaning that you give to it. Which means that in the realm of everything there is to know, nothing has meaning.

I can’t remember where I read it…it may have been in a Wayne Dyer book…but if you take the labels off of everything, you realize how connected everything and everyone really is. It’s all one energy. It’s all the same thing. It all blends into one another. After reading this, I tried it. I focused on everything around me, took the labels off, and it happened. Everything became a part of everything. Everything blended. It was kind of eerie, but at the same time, truly amazing. It only lasted for a minute or two, but it made a deep impression. It’s true. We really are one with everything.

So, why do we humans have such a need to put labels on everything and make everything separate from everything? I know, I know, if we didn’t put labels on everything, there would be complete chaos. Therefore, labels can be a good thing. So it must be the meaning that we put to these labels. The problem comes when the meanings separate us from the goodness of everything. The other problem is that everyone has a different meaning for the various labels.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that if people could really see, I mean really, really see how connected everything and everyone is, maybe there wouldn’t be so much hate in the world. Maybe we could focus on what we have in common, rather than our differences. Maybe we could actually find ways to get along and bring peace to the world.

If you take a sample from every single thing and person in the Universe and put it under the most powerful microscope, you would find that we’re all made of the exact same thing. Nothing. Yet everything. Energy. Magnificent, beautiful, glorious energy. Loving energy. All there is. I love the saying that the Universe is within each and every one of us. The Universe! It’s in everything and everyone! Do you not realize the grandest of who you are!?!

I wish everyone could come to realize their magnificence and how we are all connected. Once you come to that realization, unconditional love takes over. You treat people more kindly. You treat yourself more kindly. You want to be of service to your fellow beings (animal, human, nature). You want everyone in the world to get along. You want peace.

The next time you look at a label, consider the meaning that you are giving to it. And remember that in the grand scheme of things, it has no meaning except for the meaning that you give to it. It's your choice. Choose kindness. Choose unconditional love. Choose compassion. Choose peace. It’s all a choice.

Namaste’

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Hello? God?

2009-04-01T12:18:00.005-05:00

God. Who is this person, deity, presence, power, being, that all religions talk about?

This is probably the grandest and most difficult question anyone could ask on their spiritual journey. Most people you talk to have a very clear idea of who they believe God is to them. I have to add “to them” because everyone has a different idea of who they believe this all-powerful being is. And to most of us, it is just that…a belief. How can I say that? Because every religion and every person has a different description of whom or what they believe their God is, and every one of those believes that their God is the one and only God. They may also believe that everyone who doesn’t believe in their idea of who God is…is wrong, and possibly even going to “hell.”

I know this is a difficult subject to discuss because most people are very steadfast in their belief systems. It either is or it isn’t. Most will back up their beliefs with quotes from the Bible, but even then, it is only their interpretation of what they read in the Bible. Again, how can I say that? Because people can take the same Bible quote to back up their beliefs, and another person can take that same Bible quote, and interpret it in another way to back up their very different beliefs.

So, who is this God that everyone speaks of? Heck if I know. I’ve been searching for that answer all my life. I do know that my beliefs about God have changed drastically over the years, which means my black and white wasn’t very black and white as time went on.

Did you know that the word God came from the Saxon word for Good? He/She goes by many names. Each religion tends to use a different name describing their “God.” So, who is right and who is wrong? To be honest, I don’t think God cares a hoot what you call Him or Her. And He doesn’t care how you personally see Her as being.

As I stated earlier, my beliefs about God and religion have changed drastically over the years. In my earlier die-hard born again Christian days, I believed that God was an old man, sitting up in the sky wearing a long beard, robe, and threw down lightening bolts if you did something wrong. He was a mean old man who was very judgmental, and watch out if you did something wrong! I feared this God. I was afraid of living and I was afraid of dying. I pretty much lived in fear all the time. I believed in Satan and that he was always out to get me. I used to have the most frightening nightmares about the devil chasing me and trying to get me. I also believed that I always had to be suffering for Jesus, and if you weren't suffering, you weren't a good Christian. I even remember sitting in a dentist chair thinking, "I'm suffering for Jesus! I'm suffering for Jesus!" (Believe it or not, I knew other people who believed this and would think the same thing while sitting in the dentist chair. Sad, huh?) (I think I also need to make it clear that my beliefs had nothing to do with my parents. They raised me Baptist, but never pushed any beliefs on me.)

In the early 80’s, I became so discouraged and disheartened over religion, all the disappointments, fear, guilt, etc., that I stopped believing in anything. I hated God, I hated myself, and I didn’t want anything to do with either.

It was about that time that I had gone into a bookstore, and as I was looking around, I came across some books written by Shirley MacLaine, and they seemed to be calling to me. Yet at that time, there was no way I was even going to touch one of her books because I just knew that if I did, God would strike me down. But they kept calling to me. I hesitantly picked one up (while watching for those lightening bolts!) and read the back. It must have taken me about a half hour to finally work up the courage to buy one while looking over my shoulder for the devil the whole time. I read it. Then I read another and another until I read all of them that the store had. What Ms. MacLaine taught me was to keep an open mind in all things. That was probably one of the greatest gifts of wisdom I’ve ever learned. After that, my spiritual journey snowballed and I have been gaining so much wisdom and knowledge since then.

I no longer believe in a mean, vengeful God. And I no longer believe in Satan, the devil, or hell. I believe that God is pure, unconditional, perfect love and nothing else. As so, how could She create something so evil? I do not believe that He is a He or a She, but is genderless. (When the Bible was written, it was written in extreme patriarchal times and women were considered almost less than human; therefore, God is considered a He throughout.)

I believe that God wants nothing but the best for us, and that God is in everything good. She wants us to be happy, to be healthy, prosperous, and safe. To know our real magnificence. Just think of all the decisions WE make to create our lives otherwise. Man creates evil. Man creates the diseases, the starvation, the crime… We were given the gift of free will, so we reap what we sow. (And no, I do not know the answer as to why babies and young children have diseases, other than they chose to experience it before coming here. I also do not believe that God gave it to them.)

I also believe that God is within each and every one of us. Not out there sitting in some cloud. God is in each of us and in all things. If I would have to pick out an image of God, I think I would choose Morgan Freeman from the movie “Bruce Almighty.” I just loved his interpretation.

And I don’t always call God…God. I usually use Universe, or Divine Spirit, or sometimes Gus (God, Universe, Spirit). I went through many years after falling off my spiritual high horse where I couldn't even say the name God.

I also believe that we all came here for a purpose, and that whatever we are going through, is part of that purpose. I believe that we decided before we even came to earth what we wanted to experience. We chose our parents, when and where we would be born, when and how we would die, and what we would experience in life. And those experiences are based on the choices we make here on earth.

Am I right? Not necessarily. But this is what I believe is right for me at this time in my life and it is right for me. There is no way I would ever tell someone else that they have to believe the way I do. Whatever you believe is fine. It is your truth at this time in your life and that’s okay.

I love the term Namaste. It is a Sanskrit word which means: "I respect that divinity within you that is also within me.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone in the world could respect the beliefs of each other and accept them as part of our diversity? Maybe we could even learn to love each other unconditionally, and possibly even work towards world peace!

So, my friends, I end this long session with Namaste. And peace be unto you.

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Honor the Children

2009-03-11T13:59:00.002-05:00

Times have changed drastically since I was young. Kids today have way too many outside influences. When I was young, I played out in the neighborhood, played with my dolls, and maybe watched some TV with only a few channels. Today, there are hundreds of TV channels with hundreds of TV shows and movies, there are drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, video games, computers, cell-phones, and the like. Sure, there were drugs, alcohol, and sexual promiscuity in my generation, but they weren’t in your face. You had a hint of who was partaking, but unless you ran in those circles (which I didn’t), they didn’t affect you.

Divorce rates are said to be as high as 50 to 80%, and not many are amicable. What is sad is that the children get caught in the middle. Too many children are being raised in one-parent families, and many are being raised by their grandparents. There is nothing wrong with that in itself, but children are affected by divorces and not having their parents around.

Then there are the children who are homeless, involved in prostitution, gangs, slave labor, being abused…. My heart aches for each and every one of them. Children are desperate to feel accepted and to have a sense of belonging.

I want to mention something when it comes to abuse and spanking…. Many years ago, I was at work when a co-worker asked me out of the blue if I believed in spanking. I started to answer “sure,” as I was spanked as a child and turned out okay. All of a sudden, it was as if the Universe bopped me on top of the head with her wisdom wand, and I thought, “no, it isn’t all right to spank a child.” If it’s not okay for an adult to hit an adult, then why is it okay to hit a child? If a husband hits his wife, it’s spousal abuse. If an adult hits another adult, it’s called assault. Both can be punishable with jail time. So, why is it okay to hit a child? (If you are interested in researching better ways to discipline children without hitting them, please go to http://www.montyroberts.com/shop_equine_interest.html#HorseSense . )

After I had this aha moment, I became dead-set against hitting any child for any reason. I won’t even hit my pets. Tapping without pain to get their attention is one thing, but to hit to cause pain is a whole other ballgame. Why would you physically want to hurt your child or an animal?

We need to honor our children. Respect their rights as people no matter what their age. Love them. Care for them. And it doesn’t matter if it’s your child or someone else’s. We all know children who do not have a good home life. Take them under your wing. Invite them to dinner and to outings with your family. Spend some quality time with them (as well as with your own children). Mentor them.

Get them involved with volunteering in your community, or even helping out a neighbor in need. Show them that there are always people worse off. Teach them compassion. Give them a sense of responsibility. Allow them to feel needed.

When was the last time you told your child that you loved them? That you’re proud of them? Many children will go through their whole lives just waiting to hear those words from a parent. Or anyone for that matter. (This goes for anyone we love; not just our children. We ALL need to hear these words. Even if you know they know it, it still makes a huge difference to hear it.)

Also, respect a child’s right to be who they want to be when they grow up, even if it is not something you may want for them. (As long as they are not hurting anyone.) How many adults have gone into a field or profession just because it was what their parents wanted them to do, and then they go through life unhappy and unfulfilled with regrets of things they didn’t do? If you want your child to be happy, let them choose their own life. They alone have to live with the results of their choices.

Children today are crying out for love and attention. They are growing up with so much self-hate, low self-esteem, and just literally feeling lost and alone. I know that there are many exceptions; children who are growing up well-adjusted. But many are not. They don’t know that they have a choice. This is where mentoring comes in. Sometimes it only takes one person to make a difference in a child’s life. That person could be you. Remember….Our children are our future.

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The Golden Rule

2009-02-18T14:50:00.006-06:00

I am sure you will probably agree with me, but it sure looks like our nation and our world are in quite a pickle in these challenging times. People are fighting and arguing and killing each other because their belief systems are different. Add to that people fighting because of their differences in color, nationality, race, gender, and walk of life.

Whoopie Goldberg made a great statement this morning when she was asked what she thought was the biggest sin. Her reply was intolerance. People do not want to associate with those who are different from them. They want only what they want and to heck with everyone else. (There are many exceptions, but I’m speaking generically.)

Dictionary.com states intolerance to mean: “lack of toleration; unwillingness or refusal to tolerate or respect contrary opinions or beliefs, persons of different races or backgrounds, etc.”

Recently, I was reading “Swami for Precedent” by Swami Beyondananda (see previous posts), which I would highly recommend. In the chapter “Pray It Forward,” he states: “We are not here to earn God’s love, we are here to spend it!” And that means tolerating (I would prefer to say loving unconditionally) people regardless of our differences. This does not mean that you have to condone any evil behavior; everyone still has to be accountable for their actions. In other words, why can’t we all just get along!?! We’re on this one planet together. We have no other place to go. So how about if we all just learn to play nice?

All religions have their variations of rules and regulations. The only problem with those is that people tend to interpret them to justify their own belief system. The Swami had a great suggestion, which I totally agree with. How about having just one rule, and that is “The Golden Rule.” It is in most all religious texts. Here are a few that the Swami mentioned in his book:

Buddhism: Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5,1.
Christianity: All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:1
Confucianism: Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state. Analects 12:2
Hinduism: This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you. Mahabharata 5,1517
Islam: No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself. Sunnah
Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary. Talmud, Shabbat 3id
Taoism: Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss. Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien
Zoroastrianism: That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself. Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5

You can Google “The Golden Rule” for more information, or go to the Religioustolerance.org website at: http://www.religioustolerance.org/reciproc.htm .

Why is it that young children can play together and it doesn’t matter what the other child looks like, or where he comes from? Their main goal is just to have fun. Hate and intolerance are taught. As we get older, we act on what we’ve been taught by others. And that’s sad.

Fortunately, there is a great movement in the world where people are getting together for a common cause: unconditional love. There are countless organizations and websites that promote tolerance, love, peace, and harmony among all beings.

Let us learn to take The Golden Rule to heart, and starting today, work at treating others the way we would like to be treated. Love others as we would like to be loved. Can you imagine if everyone in the world would do so? Can you imagine the world we could become? Can we say Hallelujah?!?!

Need Some Good Laughs?

2009-02-03T13:02:00.006-06:00

I have recently come across a great website called “Wakeuplaughing.com.” It is authored by Steve Bhaerman, aka Swami Beyondananda, and it is hilarious. Mr. Bhaerman is an internationally known author and humorist, and he conducts workshops worldwide. His comedy contains a lot of wisdom, as well as countless chuckles, and yet his wisdom is very fitting for today’s times.

He’s also written several books: “Driving Your Own Karma,” “When You See a Sacred Cow,” “Milk It For All It’s Worth,” “Duck Soup for the Soul,” and “Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction.” Among other endeavors, he started an alternative high school in Washington, D.C. and wrote a book about his experiences called “No Particular Place to Go: Making of a Free High School.” He also co-founded “Pathways Magazine,” which was one of the first publications bringing together holistic health, personal growth, spirituality, and politics. (This paragraph was paraphrased from his bio on the website. Picture at right is also from his website.)

I was reading one of his recent newsletters and found that he has written a great piece for his "2009 State of the Universe Address" entitled, “The Shift Has Hit the Fan: Welcome to the Sane Asylum,” and it is well worth the read. I especially enjoy his play on words. You can find the article at: http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/news.html

One thing he wrote about, which absolutely amazed me, was that a friend of his, Richard Lederer, took the name “Barack Hussein Obama,” scramble the letters, and came up with the anagram, “Abraham is back: One U.S.”

I would highly recommend checking out his website and signing up for his newsletters. We can never have enough laughs and the Swami will be sure to fill that need.

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Worrier or Warrior?

2009-01-25T15:29:00.002-06:00

Sharon Warren, author of “Magnetizing Your Heart’s Desires,” sent me an email with that quote, and I fell in love with it (if you can fall in love with a quote; grin).

It’s hard not to notice the national and global transformation that is taking place at this time in history. People are going through just the most awful “stuff.” I call it “heavy-duty-life-doo.” Many have lost their jobs, their homes, insurance, and who knows what else. It’s a pretty scary time for many of us.

Which brings me to the quote. Are you a worrier, or are you a warrior? Personally, I’m not a worrier, but I’m still working on becoming a warrior. (I wonder if there’s an in-between? Grin.) I just refuse to worry about anything that I have no control over, and most of what is going on in this country and the world, I cannot control. In the movie “Billy Jack,” Billy stated, “What’s going to happen is going to happen, and all the worrying in the world isn’t going to change a thing.” That was back in 1971 when I first heard that quote, and I have tried to live by it since then.

Is it easy? Not always. Even I have my moments. Ask yourself, “Do I have any control over this situation?” “Will I do myself or anyone around me any good by worrying?” You can only control what you can control and nothing more. What we can control, though, is our attitude and the thoughts that go through our mind. Again, it’s not easy, but it can be done. There is another quote I heard many years ago and it says, “You cannot stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop it from building a nest.” In other words, those negative/fear thoughts will still pop into your head (as well as mine), but it’s under your control whether or not you let those thoughts build a nest. Or you can shoo those negative thoughts away and replace them with something positive.

There are people who get upset with me because I just do not worry. I’ve finally come to the belief that everything happens for a reason, and that everything is as it should be. It comes to accepting what is. That doesn’t mean that we have to resign ourselves or give up on what is. You’d be surprised what just changing your attitude can do for your outlook on life.

Louise Hay, one of the founders of the self-help movement and author of “Heal Your Body,” always says, “All is well.” I’ve taken that as one of my mantras. All is well even when it appears that it isn’t.

Worry is an offshoot of fear. Right now, a lot of people are living in fear, but it’s mostly fear of the unknown. This is where faith comes in. According to Wikipedia, the word “faith” means “the confident belief in the truth…of a person, idea, or thing.” The informal meaning of the word has many usages, but can be used “in place of trust, belief, or hope.”

It also comes down to the power of our thoughts, and when faith replaces the fear, our positive thought power can bring the miraculous, especially when joined with the collective consciousness of all those who are believing in a positive outcome.

We live in exciting times right now, and it is the responsibility of each of us as individuals to take control of our thoughts and to have faith that all is well. Everything is going to work out for our highest good. Yes, I know it’s difficult to have optimistic attitudes when we seem to be going through our heavy-duty-life-doo. Trust me, I know. But it can be done. It takes work and practice, but I promise you, if you do the work, you will see less fear in your life. You may even start to attract the good things. Metaphysically, if we expect the worst, that’s usually what we’re going to get. And if we expect the best, we may even get that also. (I say “may” because many of us have some deep subconscious things going on that we are not even aware of on a conscious level, but even those can be brought to light if you do the work.)

There are many books written to help us to learn to let go of the fear and live a positive, optimistic life, and I would highly recommend reading them. (A few websites are listed in the right-hand column under Favorite Spiritual Websites.) Bombard your brain with positive writings until you can re-program your mind for the better.

Hang in there, my friends. A quote I came up with years ago is, “Life is beautiful, life is good, life is what you believe it to be.” Find the warrior within.

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Richard Simmons

2009-01-25T15:16:00.008-06:00

I love Richard Simmons. Yes, Richard Simmons, the health and exercise guru. About twenty years ago, I first met him at a mall in Mansfield, Ohio before I knew much about him. Before meeting him, my impression was that he was…well…just really out there. As I watched him communicate with the crowd, I saw that he really cared. He was also a hoot. It was then, that I fell in love with him.

Over the past couple of years, I have had the wonderful opportunity to go on two of his “Cruise to Lose” cruises and I got to know Richard a little bit. I found him to be one of the most kindest, caring, and loving people I have ever known. He sincerely cares about people and their health. He is also a big promoter in how important it is to learn to love yourself.

Richard is proof that it's okay to be silly, to laugh, and to enjoy life. He's a great role model, not just for me, but for the thousands whom he has helped, and for those who have had the wonderful gift of getting to know him.

Some time ago, when “Whose Line Is It Anyway” was on the air, Richard was a guest on one of the episodes. I swear it is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. I laughed so hard that my mouth and abs ached from getting such a great work out. I will laugh hysterically every time I see it, too. Not only is Richard hilarious, but so were the reactions of the others on the show, as well as the hysterics of the audience members.

I am going to try to download the clip from YouTube onto my blog, but if it won’t work, you can see it at (remember to hit your back arrow to come back to the blog): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTxkxG3DF4k&ytsession=FK2ikArkCW4VFbnhyuTFfKB4X68Ae4ikx9pa0aqU3DlOwhY04tW3If1Y8uOp82N_dbH277AdnTRO3Wy9TYjtv7RlOMoYcFxhS4O_oiWM1ujoW0GGhjoiilbTvvTRTHOCJfmKzl5zpoLt9ilE_6vsV0YavoWJgmKkG--NLz6ZJZRsJLNPr2twaKSdQbzdsKxXwdqvgxczhXHdkctXXfQaD4zvFrdW_YTuShVnhgu6BpeC8dAmVd1hV_OWR_jgPF6H
Remember, it's okay to love and laugh. Enjoy life. We are so blessed.

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Spectacular Inauguration!

2009-01-21T15:51:00.007-06:00

We did it! The inauguration was yesterday and it was spectacular! People from all over the world joined hands and hearts for the swearing in of President Barack Hussein Obama. (Just a side note here… Hussein is an Arabic name which is the diminutive of Hassan, meaning "good" or "handsome" or "beautiful" and has nothing to do with Saddam.) I, along with millions of people the world over, watched the festivities with excitement, hope, and a feeling of connectedness to my all fellow human beings.

Nelson Mandela, the former South African president, sent a letter to Obama on his inauguration day. It read as follows:

‘Your election to this high office has inspired people as few other events in recent times have done. Amongst many around the world a sense of hopelessness had set in as so many problems remain unresolved and seemingly incapable of being resolved. You, Mister President, have brought a new voice of hope that these problems can be addressed and that we can in fact change the world and make of it a better place.’ These sentiments were echoed all over the world.

Obama is calling for us to come together…to work together…and to be of service to each other. A good many of us are willing to answer that call. Even if it’s just one step or one kindness at a time.

There are those who do not want anything to do with Obama or his message, whether it’s because of personal or political reasons. And that’s fine. Those of us who do answer that call will benefit, if not from the bigger picture (yet), but seeing improvements in our every day lives. It may be just a change of attitude, treating people kinder, or doing whatever we can to help for the greater good of all.

There are also those who are going to complain that they do not want the government in our business. I say that the government IS our business. The government works FOR us…by the people, for the people, of the people. Guess what? We’re the people! We each have to do our part. We not only have to hold our government accountable, but we need to hold ourselves accountable. We are in this together, and we will succeed together. All of us the world over. Yes, we can!

We also need to move forward from the past. This is a whole new day and era. We can honor and learn from our histories and life stories, but we will never move forward if we are clinging to whatever happened up until today. I love the saying, “You can’t move forward if you’re always looking in the rear view mirror.” Our pasts are not our identities, although if we learn the lessons they gave, they can make us a stronger and better people. Are you going to be a victim of your past, or the hero of your future?

Regardless of how you feel about former President Bush, I think it is really important that we just bless him and let him go in peace; not so much for his sake, but for ours. Regardless of what he did or didn't do, or what kind of a President you think he was or wasn't, his Presidency is over...it's in the past. We can learn from what he did or didn't do, but we cannot afford to focus on the negativity. This is not a part of Obama's vision. We cannot continue to look in the rear view mirror. Let us focus on a better tomorrow.

Thank goodness, we’ve overcome so much up to this point. At the moment, I am listening to Louis Armstrong’s beautiful rendition of “We Shall Overcome” and those words apply just as much today than they did when the song was first written many, many years ago.

I will paraphrase some of the verses here: “We shall overcome. We shall overcome, some day. Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome, some day. We’ll walk hand in hand, We’ll walk hand in hand some day. Oh, deep in my heart, We shall be free, We shall all be free, some day. We are not afraid, We are not afraid, today. Oh, deep in my heart, We shall overcome, some day. Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, We shall overcome, some day.”

That day is here! We are overcoming hatred, bigotry, discrimination, separatism, and are becoming one people regardless of race, color, religion, gender, or walk of life. It’s happening! I believe it! We may still have a lot of work to do, but we're getting there!

The Beatles sang, “Give Peace a Chance.” We can take these words to heart and really work at giving peace a real chance the world over and see a better for future for all.

Many are coming together for the cause. Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore produced and filmed a star-studded "Presidential Pledge" video to help encourage community service, and it might give you some ideas on how you can make a difference. I would highly recommend that you check it out at: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=50632298.

As Louis Armstrong sang, “It’s a Wonderful World!” Indeed it is.

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Angels As Heroes

2009-01-19T19:27:00.004-06:00

The other day, I wrote a post about the plane that crashed in the Hudson River, and how all 155 on board survived. Chesley B 'Sully' Sullenberger III has been hailed a hero, as well he should be. There were many others who helped in the rescue who were also heroes. We commend all of them. To me, they were all angels on earth.

But I would also like to mention all the other heroes all over the world who usually go unrecognized. Everyone from rescue workers to the common man on the street to our military personnel. It really pains me that we make celebrities out of criminals, but our unsung heroes go unrecognized. People will actually commit crimes just to get their fifteen minutes of fame. Some have books written about them, and others have movies made about them to glorify their selfish deeds.

When you watch the news, I would say 99.9% of it is negative. It’s very rare you ever hear about the good that people do. Personally, I would like to see a network with nothing but good news. Call it GNN – the Good News Network. Tell the stories of our heroes the world over. Can you imagine how inspiring it would be to see these stories of men, women, children, and animals who come to the aid of their fellow beings? To our planet?

Some might be saying that no one would watch it. Maybe not at first. I really think that people are getting tired and bored with all the fear and negativity that our average news programs and papers are airing. We are entering a new era of hope and change. I think that eventually, it would catch on.

In the meantime, if you know of someone who was an Angel on earth (whether you know them personally or not), why not recognize them in some way, even if it is only to send them a card blessing them for what they did. Let’s celebrate our heroes and give them the kudos they deserve.

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