Recently, I read a great book titled “Along the Way ~ The Journey of a Father and Son” by actor Martin Sheen and his son Emilio Estevez. In it, Mr. Sheen stated the following:
“We wind up in cells of our own making when we’re not generous, loving, compassionate, and forgiving. Without love, we build dungeons in our hearts and fill them with our perceived enemies. We believe they deserve to be there for the harm they caused us, but by imprisoning them we’re destroying our own spirits. When our dungeons are overflowing with these prisoners we refuse to set free, we become slaves to our self-righteousness, our anger, resentments, and self-loathing, which we let multiply until we wind up imprisoned on our own death row.”
What a wonderful quote! You could say this quote is about forgiveness. When we don’t forgive, we hold everyone who harmed us in some way in a figurative dungeon deep within our being. But it’s not just about forgiveness or those who harmed us. It’s holding anyone we hold negative thoughts and feelings towards whether it’s feelings of hate, anger, bigotry, and so on. Many in our religions and politics of today propagate much of this and that’s very sad.
As the above quote states, without love, we keep adding those who we perceive to have harmed us, in that dark abyss within. The negativity in that inner dungeon will eventually eat away at us, affecting our health either physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or spiritually.
The problem is, when we keep others imprisoned, we also imprison our own hearts and minds right along with them. All those negative feelings towards others continue to build up. The more people and situations we hold in that inner cell, the more crowded it gets. Because we’re there right along with them, that dirty cell starts to wear on our health and sanity, and eventually possibly even shortens our life spans. As Mr. Sheen states, we end up putting ourselves on a metaphorical death row.
It really does come down to what we do to others, we do to ourselves. What we reap, we sow. We’ve all heard the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We seem to have forgotten this. Most all religions teach some form of the Golden Rule. A few are:
Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.”
Christianity: “All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.”
Confucianism: “Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.”
Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.”
Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.”
Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow man. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.”
Taoism: “Regard your neighbor’s gain as your gain, and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.”
The way we treat others is a mirror image of the way we feel about ourselves. The words we speak (as well as our actions) are more of a reflection on us and the kind of person we are than the people who we’re speaking the unkind words towards.
We can release others, as well as ourselves, from that dark dungeon within by not only forgiving, but by also becoming more loving, compassionate, and kind. Those are the keys to releasing those we hold prisoners within our hearts and minds. Those are the keys that will help us to find peace. Peace Pilgrim said, “When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.