Fall In Love With Yourself

Alan Cohen, a well-known author and speaker, stated, “Wouldn't it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy? This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself. The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth. Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you the richest fulfillment from inside out.”

But how many of us truly and sincerely love ourselves?  Not just know it; but feel it deeply within the core of our being?  I would dare to say that not many of us do.  Most of us have low-esteem and feelings of low self-worth.  We don’t feel like we’re good enough and that we’ll never measure up.  Our negative self-talk is constant and we beat ourselves up over the most trivial circumstances.  We say things to ourselves that we would never in the world say to someone else. 

But that’s not who we are, friends!  The Bible says that we were made in the image of God!  That doesn’t mean physically.  We are made from the essence of the All That Is!  By not loving and feeling good about ourselves, we are doing our creator a great disservice.  The second greatest commandment Jesus gave us is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  We were instructed by Jesus to love ourselves, as well as each other!  What greater way can we honor him than by obeying this commandment in that we learn to love ourselves!

Buddha stated, “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”  I know it’s not easy; trust me, I know.  I work on it every day.  But if we don’t have love for ourselves, how can we have it to give others?  Louise Hay went so far as to say, “There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the planet.”  There is so much more love in the world than hate!  The way to heal the world is to channel that love within into being of service to humankind, as well as to our animals and our planet! 

People are desperate for love!  The problem is that they’re looking for it in all the wrong places!  We think the only way we can love ourselves is if and when someone else loves us.  We have it backwards!  Spirit gave us all the love we will ever need and it is found within each and every one of us.  But if we’re constantly looking for it from outside sources, we never will discover it within. 

While searching the Internet, I came across a wonderful poem by Dan Coppersmith that I would like to share with you.  It’s titled “Hello World!” 

“I am amazing

Incredible me

Celebrating the being

I choose to be

I'm uniquely spectacular

I am one of a kind

Creativity oozes

From my heart and mind

I'm stupendous, tremendous

I stand out from the crowd

I do things

That aren't allowed

I'm inspired, desired

I am wonderfully weird

I am unbridled passion

I am highly revered

I'm outrageous, contagious

I am daring and bold

I am honored and cherished

I'm a treasure to hold

I am gifted, uplifted

I am endlessly blessed

I am sought out

For the skills I possess

I'm delightful, insightful

I am loved and adored

I live a charmed life

I'm renewed and restored

I am grateful, elateful

I am centered and wise

I am wealthy and worthy

I am God in disguise

I declare my brilliance

It won't be denied

the world cries out

For what I provide

I am powerful, masterful

I am focused and clear

Life becomes brighter

Because I am here

I am blazing, amazing

I can't be contained

I'm a glorious, fabulous

Radiant flame

I choose to exude

All this and much more

My wings are spread

Watch me soar!”

(© 2011 Dan Coppersmith, www.spiritwire.com)

How many who read this felt very uncomfortable saying such powerful, uplifting words about ourselves?   Friends, this is how God sees us!  This is who we are!  The only thing that keeps us from thinking it is true, is our beliefs about ourselves, and I’d be willing to bet that many of those beliefs were probably instilled upon us from someone else.  I would like to invite you to read and re-read this poem until it becomes engrained in your brain and these thoughts become second nature.  What a great gift to ourselves!  Learn to love yourself unconditionally because that is who you are!

Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen newspaper May 17, 2013.

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Christianity ~ Loving Religion or Dictatorship?

Some religious leaders, politicians, and others want to make Christianity into a dictatorship.  They want to force Christianity on everyone in America (and the world) and make it a one-religion nation.  Thing is, they have completely omitted the teachings of Jesus, which defeats the purpose of it being called Christianity.  When you take out love, peace, compassion, kindness, and caring for your fellow man, everything Jesus taught, all you’re left with is a man-made belief system that is steeped in greed and selfishness.

Some of these same Christians complain saying various other religions are trying to force their beliefs on Americans and want to convert everyone to their religion.  Isn’t that the exact same thing these Christians are trying to do?  Those who want a monopoly on their religion are extremists and they come from all religions.  I want to clarify that not all Christians are extremists; the same that not all people from other religions are extremists.  There are many, many loving and kind-hearted people from all religions who practice the true teachings of their Spiritual leaders, which is unconditional love for all. 

Some of these Christians are also complaining saying that those from other religions are not taking a stand against the extremists from their own religions.  To be honest, I can’t remember when I’ve heard Christian leaders condemn the actions of Christian extremists such as the Westboro Baptist Church, and other religious and political leaders who speak such hateful and very un-Christ-like nonsense. 

An extremist TV news station reports that we are becoming a Godless nation.  I disagree.  One may not be able to call it their personal brand of Christianity, but I see a lot of people standing up for love.  I see a lot of people standing up for peace…for compassion...for kindness.  They’re out there caring for their fellow beings.  They’re working to bring people together, not to separate them. I see God more so in these people than I do in those who are trying to force their religion on everyone else. 

I see Jesus in the person who gives food to the hungry; who helps those who cannot help themselves.  I see Jesus in the person who commits a random act of kindness to strangers.  I see Jesus in those who go out of their way to show compassion to those in need.  I see Jesus in those who really work on loving all mankind regardless of any differences.

Am I seeing Jesus in those who want Christianity as a dictatorship?  Not at all.  What I am seeing are these people propagating hate, bigotry, fear, and ignorance for their own personal agendas, many speaking from the pulpits of their churches, and then encouraging their members to go out and spread even more hatred and violence.  There are TV news programs and radio talk shows, as well as religious stations, which do this very thing.  If people are not speaking words of unconditional love for all, they are not speaking for God; they are not speaking for Jesus, and I’ll add they are not speaking for Christianity.  This is not the Christianity whose foundation is Jesus the Christ!   They are only speaking for their own man-made religion, as well as their own personal agendas.

It’s almost as if we have a modern day Inquisition occurring where various factions of Christianity are trying to destroy everyone who does not believe the way they do.  We see it in many of the laws that some politicians and religious leaders are enacting or are working towards enacting.  These laws oppress, control, and destroy others all in the name of their religion.  They pick and choose Bible verses, most out of context, to back up their beliefs in order to make it sound as if they are speaking for God.  They are not.   There is a very good reason for separation of Church and State.

Some of these Christians also complain that Christianity is under attack.  But what I see are these Christians attacking everyone around them because others do not believe the way they do.  Whenever someone tries forcing beliefs or religious laws on others, people are going to naturally fight back.  What I see are people standing up for religious freedom…the right to believe in their own religion, attend the church of the their choice, and to worship in peace the God of their understanding.

People wonder why so many are turning their backs on God, church, and Christianity.  Jesus was the greatest example of what Christianity was to be even though Jesus did not want a religion made after him.  He said repeatedly that “the Kingdom of heaven is within you.”  He also said “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  You will know if someone is following Jesus’ teachings by the love you see them showing others and how they treat their fellow man.  So, let’s be clear.  The Christianity that some are trying to force on everyone is not the Christianity of Jesus. 

Those who are secure in their faith and beliefs have nothing to prove.  They know they don’t have to get into these “my God is bigger than your God” arguments, or fight over who is right and who is wrong.  They know there is only one God regardless of the name or title that we give the creator.  They want to live in peace among all people regardless of any differences.  They practice Jesus’ teachings (or whoever their Spiritual teacher/leader might be).

Am I bashing Christianity and/or Christians?  Far from it.  If you got that impression, please go back and read this essay again.  What I am saying is that we have to get away from the blind leading the blind.  Look within our hearts and souls to seek Truth.  If unconditional love is the foundation of your beliefs, then you know you are following the true religion, regardless of what religion you may be following.  Unconditional love was taught by the spiritual masters of the great religions.  There is a lot of good in Christianity, the same as there is a lot of good in Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and other religions.  Let’s not condemn all for the actions of a few.  Let’s work towards putting unconditional love, compassion, peace, and kindness back into our religions so that we can live together in harmony.   Let’s live by example.  As Gandhi stated so eloquently, let’s “be the change you wish to see in the world.”  

Copyright 2013

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Love One Another ~ No Exceptions!

“That thing isn’t even human!!”  Those are the words I heard come out of my mouth upon seeing my first transsexual person, and it bothers me to this day that I said them.  It was 1979 and I had moved to Hollywood, California, from a small town with a population of 3,000, which was basically an all white, Christian community.  You can imagine my awakening when I learned how much diversity there is in Los Angeles. 

A friend had taken me to a Hungarian dance and upon our arrival most everyone was already in a circle in the center of the room learning a new dance.  Standing in the circle was a very tall person who looked like a woman. My friend said she was a transsexual and told me what that meant.  I was immediately disgusted; hence the words “That thing isn’t even human!!”  Because I was so appalled and horror-stricken, we decided to leave and go elsewhere.

At the time, I was attending a large church and was very steeped in my fundamentalist beliefs.  Anyone who didn’t believe the way I did, or who did not live up to how I was taught they should live, was wrong and going to hell. My beliefs were packed so tightly inside a box that there was no wiggle room for anything new.

Not long after the above incident, I had gone into a Hollywood Christian bookstore.  I was the only customer so the clerk and I struck up a conversation in which he began to tell me about his current situation.  He proceeded to tell me that he had been a man, became a woman, was saved, and was in the process of becoming a man again.  I didn’t know what to say, though I do know I tried to remain calm and not say anything to betray my ladylike manners.

Just then two others came into the store.  I recognized the man from an acting class, but did not know the woman he was with.  We began talking and to my horror once again, he began to tell me about the woman he was with.  She had been a man, went through the process of becoming a woman, became saved, and was going to become a man again.  Apparently, they were told that in order to be a Christian, they could not be a transsexual. 

You can imagine how stunned I was.  My mind raced trying to find a polite way to run out the door.  Before I could leave, someone suggested that we hold hands in a circle and pray.  Next thing I knew, I was standing there, and on each side of me I was holding hands with one of these “freaks.”  I could only try not to panic for I knew it would be over soon and I could make my escape.

But then something happened.  While someone was praying, I heard the words in my mind very clearly, just as if someone were standing there speaking them aloud, “Karen, these are my children, too, and I love them just as much as any of my children.”

Talk about stunned!  Did I really just hear those words?  No one in the circle spoke them.  Therefore, they could only be from one source.  God…the Universe…Spirit…my Higher Self.  Regardless of who spoke them or where they came from, I heard them loud and clear.   I may not have had an instant turnaround in my thinking or beliefs, but a seed was planted; a seed that would continue to grow and manifest until they took hold years later and I was no longer affected by homophobia. 

I learned that we are all children of the Universe (or the God of your understanding) and that we are all loved equally.  I don’t understand what makes someone gay.  But I also don’t understand what makes people fall in love, or how a child can be conceived and grow into a human, or any other wonderful mysteries life bestows upon us. 

Since then, I’ve met and gotten to know so many wonderful people who happen to be gay.  Today, many of my friends are gay and I love them dearly.  They are some of the nicest, kindest, most accepting people I know.  It pains me to see the discrimination, even hate, which they have to deal with in our society, much of it being propagated by religion and politicians.  Those claiming religion should know better, especially if they profess to belief in Jesus.  Jesus made it very clear in John 13:34-35 when he said, “A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  Jesus did not make any exceptions.  When he says “love one another,” he means everyone regardless of their color, race, religion, politics, sexual preference, gender, rich or poor, and the list goes on.

History has shown us that since the beginning of humankind, discrimination, hatred, bigotry, and ignorance have been perpetuated against various cultures and groups of people.  But history has also taught us that the human spirit is strong and we will prevail until all are loved and accepted equally.  American Indians, Jews, Japanese, gays, Muslims, Mexicans, woman, and so on have been discriminated against and/or oppressed at one time, or continue to be to this day.  What history is also teaching us, though, is that oppressing any person or any group of people is not our natural state of being.  People all over the world are standing up for each other and standing up for groups of people who are being harmed in any way, shape, or form.  People are starting to “get it.”  We really are one and it really is all about unconditional love for all beings.

Today, I believe in our oneness and that we are all equal regardless of our apparent differences.  I try to love and accept all people.  More and more people are learning that we really are all connected to each other and when we harm one, we harm all, including ourselves.  People on this great planet of ours are awakening.  Will we see all people completely awakened in our lifetime?  Probably not.  But we can awaken one person at a time, and like a domino effect, we can change the world.

Published in the Upper Cumberland Pride Day Guide May 2013.  Copyright 2013
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Wherever You Find God

One of my favorite sayings of mine is “The church may be considered God’s house, but the heart is his home.”  For those of us who do worship in a church, synagogue, temple, mosque, or maybe even in nature, we hopefully do so because we want to somehow find a way to become closer to God, Spirit, Universe, Nature (or the God of our understanding).  We may go because we enjoy the teachings, the music, and/or the camaraderie of our fellow seekers.  We may go because we like to be with people of like-mind, those who believe the way we do.  We may also go because some of us do learn from the teachings from man.  And for those who are closest to God in nature, we may go because we can feel God’s energy from this magnificent earth whose beauty was created out of God’s love.  It’s wonderful that we have such a wide diversity of places and ways to worship.

Churches and other places of worship should be a place where people can go to feel loved, uplifted, and where they can feel better coming out than they did when they went in.  People should feel nurtured, embraced, safe, and welcomed.  They should be able to feel this regardless of color, race, religion, gender, or walk of life.  God loves all his children and this should be felt even in the buildings or other places people gather to share their love for God.

Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case, and people are beginning to leave churches for various reasons.  As a minister, some people have confided in me that they refuse to ever go to a church again because when they tried, they were judged, condemned, or some were even turned away being told they weren’t welcome there for whatever reasons, sometimes because of the way they looked or because of their lifestyle.  Granted there are many churches representing various religions and denominations who are very welcoming, inclusive, and who choose to love anyone who walks in their door.  Jesus, who was one of the greatest examples of unconditional love, never turned his back on anyone regardless of whom they were or where they stood in society.    

James Dillet Freeman (1912-2003), an internationally celebrated poet, speaker, and author, had been called a modern day Ralph Waldo Emerson.  He wrote many wonderful stories and poems, which have been read by millions of people all over the world including having his poems taken by astronauts to the moon twice!  He served the Unity School of Christianity as a teacher, writer, and speaker and many of his writings have been featured in “The Daily Word,” a Unity publication.  I would like to share with you one of his writings titled “Blessings for a Church.”

“This is God’s house.  May we who come here not only find out about God, but find God.  May there be beauty in this place, but especially may it be a place where men and women become aware of the beauty in themselves.  May this be a place of worship.  May this be a place of instruction.  May this be a place of singing.  May this be a place of prayer.  But for those of us who worship and take instruction and sing and pray, May this always be a place of inner stillness, Where we may listen and hear when God speaks.  May whoever ministers here minister in love.  May whoever teaches here teach truth.  May whoever serves here serve pleasantly.  May everyone come into this house in expectation, and go with thanksgiving, and may anyone who comes needing help go feeling blest.  May this be such a house that Jesus Christ ~ or any stranger, even the least ~ would feel in it that he was with friends.”  (This is a poem, but is condensed for space.)

Personally, this poem speaks of my ideal place of worship, regardless of where that place may be, regardless of what religion, or who may attend.  Everyone should feel blessed.

Mr. Freeman also wrote what is called the “Prayer for Protection,” which is said weekly at many, if not most, Unity Churches at the end of their services.  “The Light of God surrounds Us; The Love of God enfolds Us; The Power of God protects Us; and the Presence of God watches over Us; Wherever we are, God is! And all is well!” 

God is where you find him.  Some find him in a church, some find him in nature, and/or some find him within.  Wherever you find him, may you feel loved, nurtured, embraced, and at peace.

Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen May 3, 2013.

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Releasing Attachments

Attachments.  We all have them.  We’re attached to the people we love, we’re attached to our pets, we’re attached to objects, our homes, cars, TVs, computers, cell phones, and on and on it goes. We also have attachments to the way we want things to be, and the way we want things to go.  We’re attached to our beliefs and opinions.  I admit it.  I have a lot of attachments of my own.  But the more I learn about attachments, the more I am trying to release them.  The more I release them, the more at peace I find myself in any given situation.

Some of the biggest attachments we have are to our beliefs and opinions.  We don’t want to let them go; nor do we want them to change in any way.  Yet most of those beliefs were taught to us by someone else, and opinions are just thoughts based upon our beliefs.  Once I learned to let go of those attachments when it came to my beliefs, and opened myself up to learning all the Universe would have for me to know, the knowledge and wisdom I started to gain went into hyper-speed.  I learned to trust Spirit as my master teacher rather than to rely on man. 

One of the attachments I’m learning to let go is my attachment to thinking that all people should be loving, caring, and compassionate.  It would be nice if they were; but they’re not.  So when I read articles or letters to editors that are filled with hate, bigotry, and ignorance, Spirit really has to give me a talking to in order to keep my blood from boiling.  Spirit says, “Karen, just stand back and be the observer.”  I don’t have to have an attachment to someone else’s beliefs or opinions.  They have nothing to do with me.  It’s more about them and who they are as individuals.  When I let Spirit lead, then my heart goes out to them in that they don’t know the pure, unconditional, perfect love of Spirit (or God, if you wish).  I ask what happened to them in their lives to make them have so much hate in their hearts?  Who taught them that?  What did they experience in their lives to make them feel that way?  When I ask these questions, then I can feel the compassion take over, and I can just be the observer.  I can send them love and light and pray that they will some day know unconditional love and find peace.

People may get tired of hearing me say it (or reading it), but unconditional love really is what life’s all about.  All the great Spiritual teachers and leaders have said it.  Love one another.  Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”  (John 13:34)  What part of this do we not understand?  He made no exceptions.   If someone isn’t speaking words of love, peace, harmony, compassion, kindness, and oneness then they are not speaking for God.  They are speaking for man and man’s own personal beliefs. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 states, “Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.”  This is a very good truth to keep in mind when we think about the attachments we have as to what we believe and the opinions we express.

I just read a great book by don Miguel Ruiz, Jr., a Nagual and Toltec Master of Transformation, titled “The Five Levels of Attachment.”  In it he states:  “I am love and peace starts with me.  I do not see race, creed, religion, gender, or whatever else as a division of the human species.  I do not see a belief that tears me away from my brother and sister.  I do not see an ego, a personal importance that forbids me from communing with everything in existence.  The point of life is to love, and to do so is a choice.  In that choice I take action, and in that action, I am love.  I have a voice.  I can use it to oppress, or I can use it to liberate.  I can create, I can lead, and I can love.  The same is true for you.  Together we can say, I love.  All we have and are is love.”

Therefore, release your attachments and let love in.  See your world through the eyes of Love.  It may just change your life.

(Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen March 15, 2013.)

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Animal Soul Connections

One thing I love about Facebook is all the posts about animals.  Many of my Facebook friends are animal lovers and we freely share with each other pictures and stories of our animal brothers and sisters. 

Some of the most heartwarming stories are those where animals came to the aid of their fellow human beings and saving their lives.  We are finding more and more that animals are a lot more intelligent than we ever gave them credit, and not just domesticated animals such as dogs and cats. 

There’s the story of a potbellied pig that ran out to the street to get help after his owner collapsed in the house from a heart attack.  The little goat who slept by her owner for five days after he collapsed in a pile of manure on a cold wintry night.  The Beluga whale that saved a diver who had found she could not move her legs, so the whale gently took a leg in her mouth and swam to the surface so that the diver could get air.  The parrot who started screaming and making a wild commotion while screaming “Mama baby!” over and over until the babysitter came back into the room to find the two year old child not breathing.  The silverback gorilla that protected a young boy who accidentally fell into the gorilla pen, kept him safe from the other gorillas, comforted the boy, and then led the other gorillas away so that the humans could get the boy out of the pen.  The cow that swam to his elder owner during a tsunami to help keep her alive until they could reach dry ground.  An elephant that put a four year old girl onto his back and ran for higher ground also during a tsunami.  The dog who kept a toddler afloat in a swimming pool by holding the boy’s head out of the water after he had fallen in.

Story after story is told of animals from all species coming to the aid of their fellow humans.  I can’t help but shed tears whenever I read of these stories.  Animals help so unselfishly and asking nothing in return. 

Many dogs are being used to alert their owners of health issues before they occur such as seizures, stroke, heart attack, diabetic complications and anxiety or panic attacks.  There’s the story of the cat that lived in a nursing home and would constantly stay by the side of a resident to alert staff that the person was getting ready to make their transition. 

Personally, I believe that animals are just like we humans only in different form.  They have feelings and express emotions.  They feel pain, loneliness, and heartache.  There was a great movie released in 1995 called “Powder” about an albino boy with incredible intellect, telepathy, and paranormal powers.  He ends up as a ward of the state and lived in a boy’s home.  The deputy sheriff took the boys on a hunting trip and upon hearing a gunshot, Powder runs to the scene where he sees that the deputy shot a beautiful doe.  Frantic, he grabs the deputy’s hand and puts it on the dying doe’s stomach.  To the deputy’s horror, he suddenly feels everything the doe was feeling… pain, fear, and death.  It traumatized him so much that he put up his guns and vowed that he would never kill another living thing ever again.  I bawl like a baby every time I see this scene in the movie. 

Those reading the pet section more than likely are great animal lovers.  For many of us, our pets are our children just as much as anyone’s human children are to them.  I love animals so much that I could no longer justify eating them; therefore, I became a vegetarian about thirty years ago and haven’t looked back.  I also personally believe that animals have souls, and for those of us who are very connected to animals, we see it in their eyes.  We feel that soul connection. 

I will leave you with a few of my favorite animal quotes…  Saint Francis of Assisi said, “If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.”  Gandhi said, “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”  And Einstein said, “Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”

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Blessing Adversity

As a writer and a speaker, I’m pretty much an open book.  I’m not afraid to talk about some of the things I’ve gone through in my life, what I’ve overcome, and what I’m still working on.  Many times after a talk, people will come up to me and tell me how much they related to what I was saying.  Recently, I spoke at a church in Dayton, Ohio, and a young woman came up to me afterwards and told me that it could have been her up there speaking instead of me. 

We all go through adversity.  Adversity is described as difficulties or misfortune.  It’s a part of life.  We can’t avoid it.  Adversity comes at us from birth until death.  Some have more of it than others, but it’s there all the same.  The difference is how we deal with what life throws at us.  Some are more able to sail through it, while others let it destroy them.  So, what’s the difference? 

A lot of it has to do with our attitudes towards life.  Do we have an “anything that can go wrong will go wrong” outlook?  Or do we look for the good that can come from it?  Just that shift in our outlook can make the biggest difference in how we deal with those obstacles that seem to pop up out of nowhere.  Do we play victim?  Or do we play hero where we push through until we get to the other side? 

One thing I’ve learned about adversity is that it sure makes me appreciate the good times so much more.  I’ve learned how much being in a state of gratitude can shift my perspective.  Looking for the good that comes from any situation already helps us to push through.  Obviously, the situation we are going through may not be good.  In fact, it can be one of the most horrendous things we’ve ever experienced.  Personally, I believe that good comes from everything whether we can see it at the moment or not.  That’s why I love hindsight.  Many times I can’t see the good until sometime after the event and I can look back and think, “Oh, so that’s why I went through that!”  It is only then that I find that the experience has actually made me a stronger and better person.  If nothing else, it taught me to have more love, compassion, and understanding for others who are going through the same experiences. 

Many years ago, my twenty-seven year old cousin was accidentally shot and killed by his best friend’s ten-year old son.  My cousin’s own son of the same age witnessed it.  That event put the families on both sides through hell.  At the funeral as I greeted my cousin’s wife and others, my young cousin was sitting there and people seemed to pass him by not knowing what to say to a child.  I stopped to give him my love and told him, “Don’t you let this destroy you!  You take this and you let it make you a stronger and better person.”  I don’t know if he remembers my words, or if they even made any difference.  Maybe it planted a seed.  I don’t know.  I do know that today, my cousin is twenty-one and is an EMT and firefighter.  He’s grown up well-adjusted and a fine young man.  He’s also dedicated his life in service to others.  I’m very proud of him.  His life could have gone a whole other way.  Of course, he had good people surrounding him.  His mom immediately forgave the other boy and continued to include him in family gatherings.  I’m sure his mom’s attitude made a world of difference for him.  Because of her choices, and those of other family members, they made it through the adversity and became heroes in their own lives.

We are all diamonds in the rough.  Adversity is the chipping, sanding, and polishing that makes us into the greatest expressions of who we are meant to be.  It is only in darkness that we can learn to let our light shine. 

The Dalai Lama said, “When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways--either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” 

Adversity also helps us to develop character.  Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

It’s not easy, but once we learn to bless the adversity, it will change the whole outcome and we will prevail.  Victim or hero?  It’s our choice.

(Published in the Cookeville Herald Citizen paper March 1, 2013.)

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